Walk on Broken Glass
by Risa McDohl
Summary: Modern AU. Best friends Sasuke and Naruto have slowly been falling in love for years, and have a hard time dealing with it. With overprotective parents, a brutal rumor mill at school, and Sasuke's negative world view to contend with, is there any hope for their relationship? Will friends, family, and other circumstances serve to help, or hinder them? Come in and find out.
1. Ants and a Curious Midnight Invasion

**Title:** Walk on Broken Glass

**Author:** Risa

**Pairings:** NaruSasu/SasuNaru, MinaKushi, and lots of Itachi and Sasuke (platonic) brother love. There will be many other pairings, but most won't last, so I don't really find them worth mentioning here. Feel free to PM me if this concerns you.

**Rated:** M

**Disclaimer:** Kishi owns Sauce and Weasel and Dead Last and all those other lovable weirdos that I can't seem to quit writing about.

**Genres:** Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort

**Full Summary:** Modern AU. Best friends Sasuke and Naruto have slowly been falling in love for years, and have a hard time dealing with it. With overprotective parents, a brutal rumor mill at school, and Sasuke's negative world view to contend with, is there any hope for their relationship? Will friends, family, and other circumstances serve to help, or hinder them? This story is an answer to a question I once asked myself: "What would Sasuke be like if his parents were alive, his brother didn't kill anyone, and they all lived in today's world? What would change? What wouldn't? And where does Naruto fit into all of this?" It's also a very loose parallel to the canon universe, so this story will have its high and low points, and lots of humor, because life is funny.

**Warnings:** Family dysfunction, one instance of child abuse, violence, foul language, depression/anxiety, bullying, mentions of suicide, drug/alcohol abuse, non-communication, and lots of heartbreak. I take none of the above lightly and they will not be sugar coated when they happen, but if you came in here for a happy story then don't let this deter you! This is a story about life, with its ups and downs. There's plenty of love, happiness, humor, hope, and healing to balance it all out.

**Setting:** This fic's officially set in a made up town called Farwell, Connecticut in the US. It's based on where I grew up. The fic starts in 2005 when the boys are eight years old. There will be no use of Japanese honorifics or the "pet names" (dobe, teme, and such) at any given point, and everyone's names will be first name first and last name last (Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, and such.) I may go a bit crazy with pop culture references at times, but it's all in the name of immersing the boys into our world. If we didn't care about the things that entertain us then we wouldn't even be on this site, after all. ;)

OK, I think I've covered everything.

**PART ONE**

An Issue of Brotherhood and Friendship

* * *

Ants and a Curious Midnight Invasion

* * *

The Uchiha family lived in a large home comprised of four bedrooms, two bathrooms, many closets, a wide open yard in front and back, and very little character. They were the type of family that hung more generic oil paintings of pears than family photos on the walls, which were off white with wooden trim and floors all over the house. Basically it was the same color inside as it was outside, with a possible what-you-see-is-what-you-get logic behind it. A fire place sat in the spotless living room unused as the day Fugaku Uchiha signed off on the mortgage. He was an incredibly thrifty man, and managed to get the house paid off in full in less than a decade, which his peers swore was impossible in this economy. Not so, apparently. Without that monkey on his back he didn't have to worry about his high blood pressure getting the better of him at any given moment as much, and he could even start smoking cigarettes again if he wanted to, though his wife didn't like that.

For Itachi Uchiha, this was the last of several homes he had bounced around. Father always seemed down on his luck, thus wasn't always a very prominent presence under this roof. Not that Itachi minded. He didn't have to put up a front of studying without the old man breathing down his neck. It didn't matter either way, because he could sleep in class and still get straight A's. He would know. He's done it. After all, when he graduated Middle School at the top of his class, giving the school a better reputation than complete crap, they bought him a top of the line laptop computer. Father claimed it was for academic purposes only, but what kid actually ever listens to that crap?

As soon as Itachi got her alone he asked mother immediately if she would be willing to supplement him with a _World of Warcraft_ account, and promised profusely that he would only play it on the weekends and earn every penny she spent on it by doing extra chores. She was reluctant at first, typical mom, didn't want weirdos stalking her son or sending him inappropriate messages and images. At first she was against giving him his own computer at all, to be honest. She thought he was just too young, even if he showed an uncanny amount of sense for a boy his age. He told her that he would be playing it with his friends, who he hardly got to see anyway because he was always too busy studying. There wasn't much that he got to do for himself, and it was his first video game ever under this roof, or so she thought anyway. She detested video games, and Fugaku was even worse, hence why Itachi didn't even exercise the thought of asking him, but then again Itachi was just such a good, studious kid.

"OK, but you can only play it on the _weekends_, and I'm cutting you off if I see so much as a B+ on your progress report."

"Yes, mother."

"Also, under no circumstances is Sasuke to see, or know about this. He's not old enough. You're not even old enough, but I absolutely won't tolerate him on that machine for even one minute without my supervision. I don't want him going online and talking to strange people that would lure him away and do terrible things to him. The world's gone crazy these days."

"I understand, mother. The runt will never touch my computer."

He held true enough to the latter. Sasuke didn't show much interest in Itachi's computer anyway. With mother's supervision he was content to sit downstairs on the family's ancient Dell that still ran on Windows 2000 with jack shit for RAM and draw stick figures on MS Paint until he got bored and decided to kick a soccer ball around the yard instead. Like his brother, Sasuke was also studious, but mostly because education was the gospel under this roof, and you weren't anyone if not a straight A student. Sasuke must have done well enough. Like Itachi, he won every Student of the Month award in first grade, and his teachers adored him. Apparently he was an extremely quiet and serious boy, who only spoke when called on. He wouldn't even ask to go to the bathroom unless it was an emergency, but he would soon learn to get over that when a girl named Hinata wet her pants one day because she was even more quiet than him. Mean kids called her Pee-nata now, and that was really the only story about Sasuke's peers that Itachi knew about at the moment. Poor girl.

That was school, though. Sasuke could be a real motor mouth when he got home. Mother seemed to deal with the lion's share of it these days, which worked for Itachi. He loved his little brother more than anything in the world, but he was busy now. He had his own work load, his own friends, his own life. Sasuke seemed to be off to an OK start establishing his if his grades were perfect, his teachers loved him, and he was at least brave enough to ask to use the restroom. Itachi remembered Sasuke's first day of kindergarten. He cried on the first day because he had to go all by himself.

Two years later, he was into his second month of second grade. They still had him reading picture books, but he found those boring. Itachi dug some old favorites out of the closet and let him have the entire box, which was just as tall as Sasuke. His teacher didn't question him for reading _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_ on a day too rainy for recess, but on the second rainy day she asserted that it was impossible for him to be able to read _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_, not to mention its contents weren't age appropriate. Half the kids in the class had never even seen a book that big, and the teacher probably didn't want them feeling self-conscious. Sasuke didn't bring a book that size with him for awhile, seeing as he didn't like the attention that was drawn to him because of it.

Itachi sort of knew the feeling, though rather than being ashamed of it he always just sort of owned it. In second grade he was reading _The Fellowship of the Ring_ already, but his teacher let him be, probably because it was a much smaller book and she didn't read it anyway, so probably assumed that it was kiddy. He remembered when his friend Kisame tried reading it. It was like gibberish to him, but that was OK, because he supplied the video games that Itachi's parents (well, father) assumed he knew neither heads nor tales of. All he had left to do in _Kingdom Hearts_ was fight Sephiroth, but Kisame's PS2 was busted and he had to get a new one. Lame.

In any case, Sasuke's social life wouldn't start until late one Thursday night, when Itachi was participating in a raid on WoW with Kisame, Deidara, and Nagato. By no means did he want to be disturbed during this pressing and earth shattering endeavor, and under normal circumstances he wouldn't be. Everyone under this roof seemingly went to bed at nine o'clock at night, every night, and if his parents were ever in the throes of wild and kinky sex, he wouldn't know about it. He was too busy with his game to care, and the fact that it was midnight and well past the time he should be down and getting his beauty rest did nothing to deter him. He could school on one hour of sleep if need be. He's done it. He's even done it without falling asleep in class. It was a non-issue.

Suddenly there were three small knocks at the door. Now, they were so soft that they could have very well been a part of his imagination. Not one to take any chances, though, he threw his laptop shut, effectively abandoning the guys. They would grill the everloving shit out of him, but they'd get over it eventually. After all, they wouldn't actually be his friends if they weren't aware that his parents had sticks the size of Florida up their asses.

"Come in," said Itachi, as he turned to a random page in _Crime and Punishment_ just before the door knob clicked open. No matter who it was, he'd get less shit for staying up reading than doing anything else.

"Itachi... " said Sasuke with a hiccup. Oh. Well, it was difficult to say if this warranted ditching the raid. After all, the kid had two perfectly good parents to bother if he wet the bed, threw up, or something, even if they were already asleep. Well, whatever. Itachi put down his book and told Sasuke to come in. His Sponge Bob boxers appeared dry enough, and he didn't look sick, but for the snot and streaks of tears smeared across his face and pajama sleeves. Itachi pulled a small pack of unopened tissues and hand sanitizer out of his desk drawer and told the kid to blow his nose and sanitize his hands before touching _anything_. For good measure Itachi grabbed him an old Pantera t-shirt that hung around his brother's knees like a dress when he put it on. Itachi pinched the befouled flannel pajama top that was part of a very old set of Shisui's and threw it into his hamper, then sanitized his own hands. The absolute worst thing about having a baby brother was the damn snot. Even diapers didn't get to him as bad as the snot did for some reason. Sasuke was eight now, so the snot portion of his life should very nearly be over, or so he hoped.

"You want some chocolate milk?" said Itachi, pulling a Nesquik out of his bedside minifridge. See, he treated his room sort of like his fortress, where everything he could possibly need at any given moment was there, except for a bathroom. Dad refused to let him knock out a wall and install his own, even though the house was now his, which was bullshit, but whatever. He checked the sell by date on the milk, seeing as he barely drank the stuff, but had some every once in awhile. It was good, so Sasuke took it.

"It's midnight, Sasuke, and you have school in the morning."

"I don't want to go," he whimpered.

Oh, here we go.

"Are you sick? If you're throwing up it wouldn't be wise to drink that."

Sasuke took three little gulps, and then he burped, but not very loud. "Excuse me."

Itachi placed his palm on the little kid's forehead, and earned himself a pout. Sasuke did feel a bit warm, but that's probably because he'd been crying. "Stop it. I'm not throwing up. And don't take my temperature."

"Well, you can't exactly get out of going to school if you're not sick."

"Sure I can," said Sasuke, taking another swig of milk. "I'll climb up the highest tree in the yard. Between mama's arthritis and dad's bad back they wouldn't be able to catch me."

"No, they'd just leave it up to me to catch you," said Itachi.

"What? Aww." Sasuke resumed his daily penchant for pouting and sulking. Whatever the reason Sasuke had for not wanting to go to school in the morning, it was bound to be some overblown nonsense that would obviously result in the end of the universe. Tomorrow was sloppy joe day, or tomorrow was hula-hoop practice in gym, something like that. For the record, Sasuke's hatred for sloppy joes and hula-hoops knew no bounds, as he would remind all two of the people in his life he would actually talk to as much as possible.

"Indulge me, kiddo. Why don't you want to go to school tomorrow?"

Sasuke crushed the empty milk bottle in his tiny little fists, and the amount of hatred that radiated from his skin was venomous enough to kill every unsuspecting squirrel and crow in the neighborhood. But not the evil bunnies. No, never the evil bunnies, as was evident through Itachi's allergies, especially when he went into the back yard. Itachi was more of an indoor kind of guy.

"There's this kid. His name is Naruto, and I want him to die."

"Now, now. Don't go around saying things like that, or the school will search your bags and pockets for guns and knives. They might even perform a cavity search."

Sasuke frowned. "What's a cavity search? Like the dentist?"

"You don't want to know."

"Yes I do."

"Google it."

"Is it something that'll get me in trouble with mama if I look it up?"

"Probably."

And that was the end of that discussion.

"Tell me what a cavity search is." Or not.

"Not unless you tell me why you think this Naruto kid should die."

"Ugh, fine." Sasuke hopped off of Itachi's bed and started ranting. If he got loud enough he'd wake their parents up, and then Sasuke would become their problem. One could hope. "He's like the most loud and stupid person in the world. We were watching a movie in class, which we never get to do, and it was really good. I was trying really hard to listen, and Naruto wouldn't stop tipping back in his chair and talking to everyone. He was doing spit balls at Kiba, and he tried to put gum in Ino's hair, but then our teacher caught him and put him in the corner. Then while he was in the corner he was making stupid fart noises, and the corner is right under the TV, so every time it was on a good part Naruto made fart noises with his arm and his lips, and then he backed up into Shikamaru's desk and actually farted, and the teacher sent him to the principal. And then the whole room stunk for like an hour.

"Then it was recess, and I didn't want to play because all the swings were taken and my toe hurt from kicking Naruto's chair. I just wanted to read. So I brought _Among the Hidden_ with me, and I was reading it under my favorite tree that Naruto was sitting in, but I didn't know it. And then Naruto dropped a juice box on my head on accident. I got fruit punch in my hair, and on my book, and it was really gross and sticky and mom made me take a bath as soon as I got home. There was ants on me!"

"There _were_ ants on you, Sasuke," Itachi corrected.

"I hate it when you do that," grumbled Sasuke through his teeth. "Anyways, Naruto is always causing trouble, and he won't leave me alone! He says that my head looks like a duck's butt, so you know what I said? I said "Yeah, well your head looks like doo doo!""

"You sure told him," said Itachi. He was having a hard time trying to keep his face from cracking into the most obnoxious grin. His little Sasuke actually had a social life of sorts.

"Yeah."

"And is this the reason why you came into my room crying?"

"NO!" said Sasuke, thoroughly offended that Itachi would suggest such a thing. Naruto. Make him cry. Ha! "I was crying because I fell out of bed and hit my elbow really hard."

"Do you want me to kiss it and make it feel better?"

"No." Sasuke crossed his arms and looked away from Itachi. The older brother took that as his cue to kneel before the younger and assault his sides with tickles.

"Ahhh-hahaha-nostop-hah-" he said, and then he started screaming way too loud for half past midnight. If that didn't wake their parents then they were probably dead. Sasuke was reduced to a puddle of shallow breaths and a tangle of limbs that were all flailed out. One elbow looked a bit redder than the other, and Itachi showered it with sloppy kisses.

"Stop, stop, stop! That's gross."

"That's revenge for coming into my room with snot-covered sleeves."

"I'll blow my nose in your pillow if you slobber on me ever again."

"Sounds like something Naruto would do."

Sasuke was about to stamp his feet and start ranting again, but father barged right in and took the wind right out of Sasuke's sails, not to mention his lungs.

"Sasuke, do you have any idea what time it is?" said Fugaku, with the spanking of a lifetime just cooking underneath that gaze. He wasn't a man that took well to being woken up. Never was. That's why Itachi typically made a point to be as quiet as possible, but Sasuke was either too young, or too dumb to be discreet. Though Sasuke tended to reject affectionate gestures, he managed to back up right into Itachi's side and bury half his face into the older boy's shirt. Fugaku stepped into the room, gave Itachi one reproachful look, and went right back to glaring at Sasuke, whose knees were ready to buckle.

"I was just saying u-ud-night to T-tachi, dad." Sasuke hiccuped like he was going to cry again. In coming snot storm. Itachi wasn't having it, even though he knew he shouldn't be as soft on his brother as he was, there was no place for boogers that weren't his own in this universe.

"Goodnight? It's twelve-thirty in the morning. We say goodnight at nine o'clock on the dot, and we don't do it screaming at the top of our lungs."

"He had a bad dream," Itachi interjected. "I was trying to cheer him up and things got out of hand. Blame me." Sasuke's face was fully emerged in Itachi's night shirt, his fist gripping clumps of it while Itachi wrapped his arms around him.

"Is this true?" asked Fugaku, and Sasuke sniffled and nodded into Itachi's shirt. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, Sasuke, and don't mumble."

"Yes, sir." Sasuke managed to poke one eye out from under Itachi's protective arms, and his enunciation was barely passable. Fugaku nodded and turned around.

"I want you both in bed. Now."

With that he closed the door behind him, and Sasuke started sucking air in and out as though he had run the worst mile of his life. Fugaku was an intimidating man. He wouldn't lay a finger on his kids even if he wanted to, because that's what his parents did to him and he chose to refrain from such behavior. However, if Itachi had to guess he'd say that Fugaku really only refrained because Mikoto did not approve of hitting as punishment. Frankly, Itachi didn't either. If Sasuke was this panicked from a glare and a few choice words then what purpose could violence probably serve?

"I'm sorry I got us in trouble, brother," said Sasuke, and amazingly enough he refrained from shedding anymore snot or tears. That was good enough for Itachi.

"Sasuke, I'm going to bed. Would you like to sleep in here tonight?"

Sasuke asked Itachi every so often if they could sleep in the same bed together. More often than not Itachi said no, because homework and WoW were priorities of utmost importance. It had gotten to the point where Sasuke almost never asked anymore. However, Itachi offering was an occasion much more rare. Not just rare, but welcome, judging by the smile on Sasuke's face.

"Yeah!"

Just like that he hopped onto the bed, searching for his favorite pillow and was never one to pass up the opportunity to pull the blanket back himself. Once he got his pillow he crawled underneath, snuggled and comfy in the cocoon of comforters. Itachi turned the lights out and crawled into bed next to Sasuke. Leaning down he pecked his brother on the forehead and rolled over on his side.

"G'night, peanut."

All he heard from beneath the comforter was "mrr-nrr-wuh" which he guessed meant "Don't call me peanut." Then he drifted off to sleep to the sound of his brother's tiny snores.

TBC

**References**

Books

_Among the Hidden_, by Margaret Peterson Haddix. It's a children's book, but it's pretty good. I tend to think of these quick reads, because I read whatever the fuck I want, haha. Now pretend that makes sense.

_Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_, by Roald Dahl. Read the book, fuck both of the movies (or just watch the old one because Gene Wilder is amazing, but those orange fucking ommpa loompas... ugggh... ), and then read _Matilda_ because _Matilda _is one of my favorite books ever.

_Crime and Punishment_, by Fyodor Dostoevsky. So who's actually read this? Not me, and it would seem Itachi hasn't either.

_Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_, by J. K. Rowling. Now repeat after me, kids: CEDRIC DIGGORY IS NOT EDWARD FUCKING CULLEN. FUCKING DAMN IT! FUCK! The Cedric in my head's WAY better looking than Rob anyway, though Rob makes a decent cancerous looking vampire... thing, much to his chagrin, he mused.

_The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring_, by J. R. R. Tolkien. Frankly all I've retained from the movies was Frodo's emphatic cries of "Oh, Sam!" ... What? A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Fanfiction

_The Real Reason_, by RuneWitchSakura. Bunnies are evil.

TV

_Sponge Bob Square Pants_, owned by Nickelodeon. By the way, mayonnaise is not an instrument. Neither is horseradish.

Video Games

_Kingdom Hearts_, a PS2 game brought to you by some assholes called Square Enix. Maybe you've heard of them.

_World of Warcraft_, a PC game by Blizzard that my sister's been playing obsessively for the past four years. Shoot me.


	2. Beware the Naruto, My Bro

Beware the Naruto, My Bro

* * *

"Oh frab-uh frabe... FRABjous day! Calloh! Callay!

He ch-chortled in his joy-"

YAWN. Sasuke snapped out of his nervous and unenthused recitation of _The Jabberwocky_ to see many bored and impartial faces, though Naruto was the only one making an emphatic show of malcontent. Stupid jerk. Sasuke was self-conscious enough in front of the whole class. He didn't want to look stupid. He practiced this poem hundreds of times, and had a hard time with the words that didn't make any sense, which was most of them, so he had to ask Itachi for help. What the hell was a "slithy tove" supposed to be anyway? But it didn't matter since it was really the only poem little Sasuke liked, because he liked the way Itachi read it. Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein were only so interesting the first five billion times.

No, Sasuke lost his place, and the words were starting to blur behind the tears in his eyes. No way. He wasn't going to cry in front of the whole class. He refused to! He'd sooner drop dead, which didn't seem like the most terrible option at the moment.

"Are you done?" said Naruto, and Sasuke's heart leaped into his throat. He was shaking. Now some of the people who were bored were actually paying attention. Ino giggled and sighed, giving him that creepy squinty-eyed look. Shino sniffed his finger. Naruto rocked back and forth in his chair with his arms crossed, looking like he was ready to pick a fight. Seriously, what was this kid's problem?

"Naruto, you'll quit tipping back in your chair like that, first of all. Second of all, treat your classmates with respect. At least Sasuke remembered to bring a poem," said the teacher, and several students "Ooo'd" laughed out loud. Naruto's chair fell into the correct position with a resounding CLONK, and he sighed and laid his cheek into his palm.

"Please continue, Sasuke. You're doing an excellent job with such a difficult poem."

Sweat began to prickle at Sasuke's hairline, and most eyes were on him. They were probably more interested to see if Sasuke would crack under pressure and run out of the class to puke like that one kid did once. It's not like they had any idea what that crazy poem was all about anyway.

Sasuke decided to turn the first of many very hateful glares toward Naruto. He couldn't quite remember his place, but he knew it was somewhere close to the end, so he started at the last verse, reading louder than he ever had before in his life.

"'Taws BRILLIG and the STUPID TOVES

Did GYRE and GIMBLE in the WABE-"

Naruto started chuckling into his palm, which only made Sasuke more mad.

"ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROGOVES,

AND THE MOME RATHS outgra...

"SHUT UP, NARUTO!"

An overwhelming silence swallowed the class whole for approximately twelve seconds, which felt like a lifetime, until a few uneasy whispers broke out.

"Is that part of the poem?" Chouji asked Shikamaru, who was barely coherent at the moment. That was just his natural state, though even he managed to flinch at Sasuke's outburst, not that anybody could tell.

"Mhr-wuh? No. I don't know. I don't read. It's too much trouble," said Shikamaru, sinking his head back down into his arms.

"Oh yeah. Want a oreo?"

"Sasuke! We don't use words like "Shut Up" in class. And we don't distract others while they're reading in front of the class, Naruto. You're both going to the principal's office. Understood?"  
"But Miss- no!" Sasuke looked beyond terrified, and Naruto just shrugged and got up. This was routine to him, but Sasuke, on the other hand. He of gold stars on tests. He of attendance as perfect as his posture. He of flawless manners. This little explosion didn't phase the class much, but it was a shame. Even though he was provoked, he still lashed out, and he had to learn that he couldn't do that. "This can't be happening."

"Quit being a baby. It's not that bad," said Naruto, his mumbles lost on the rest of the class, though certainly not on Sasuke. It didn't matter, though. He was dead. Deciding to go down with dignity (or so he called it), he stormed on ahead of Naruto right out of the classroom, almost hitting the other boy in the face with the heavy wooden door. It was bad enough that he had a well of tears attempting to choke him as he read his poem to the class. There was no stopping the tears once he was out of the classroom. All he could think about was his father, what he might do if he found out. When he found out! What he might say! He had no idea, but it could only be completely horrible. Sasuke worked so hard to make his dad proud, just like Itachi did, and now it was all for nothing. Sasuke would probably be grounded forever, subject to a life of watching paint chip off of the walls of his bedroom until he inevitably died of boredom, and there was nothing-_nothing_-that would ever make it OK.

Millions of thoughts along that vein assaulted his young mind all at once that, by the time he could see the door to the principal's office he had to hold himself up against the wall. He was completely closed off from his surroundings, so if any unsuspecting bathroom stragglers bore witness to this heart attack it was well beyond him. His breathing had become so labored that each oxygen molecule he sucked in felt like needles in his lungs. He was also biting back a typhoon of nausea that roared in his stomach. The only reason he refused to throw up was because he'd only get into more trouble, which didn't seem possible, but he wasn't stupid enough to test that.

His trek to the office slowed to a crawl five feet away from the door, and by the time Naruto caught up Sasuke had to sit and regain control of his breath, or he was going to puke all over himself and pass out. He managed to get the tears to stop, though he was caught in a pesky chain of hiccups determined to match the pace of his racing heart. Naruto stopped in front of him, and Sasuke could only imagine the mockery and the scorn in his eyes, but he didn't look up. It was this boy's fault, but at the moment Sasuke could care less. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

"Principal Sarutobi isn't going to eat you. Come on," said Naruto, with something almost like sympathy in his voice. Sasuke managed to get his gaze up as far as the other boy's extended hand at first. His own seemed to drift of its own accord toward it, though Sasuke made the split second decision to smack Naruto's hand away. Though Naruto liked to make himself seem like tough shit, always acting up in class, picking fights in the school yard among millions of other things he wasn't supposed to do, he could honestly say that he didn't know that there was enough hatred in the world to match the way Sasuke's glare stabbed into him in that moment. He actually had to take a step back, because for a moment he thought that this thrown down ragdoll of a crybaby was actually going to kill him.

They managed in one way or another to get into the principal's office, and Sasuke was the first to face old man Sarutobi. Somehow actually being there wasn't nearly as scary as the anticipation, but he could still feel his heart throbbing, and at this point his stomach was giving Chernobyl a run for its money. Taco Bell wasn't even toxic enough to make him this sick. That he could hold down his breakfast was nothing short of a miracle. Surely he had broken a world record of some sort. At least he got the hiccuping down to a few straggling spasms, and he really needed to blow his nose. The principal was even patient enough to let him do that before they got started.

"Do you understand why you're here?" the old man asked in a gentle voice. He'd been at this for over thirty years at this point, and saw many things in his day. Hundreds of different kids have squirmed in that hot seat, enduring lectures whether they listened to them or not, receiving due discipline as needed. He pulled out Sasuke's file, which was nothing short of pristine in terms of good behavior, perfect attendance, and a damn near perfect academic standing. Kids like Sasuke were the reason the government still bothered to fund schools, so to see such a boy suddenly seated before him was alarming.

"It wasn't... I mean... I... i-it wasn't my fault! Naruto-"

"Naruto nothing. Why are you here, Sasuke? Is this where you really belong?"

"No!" Sasuke blurted, and he could feel a fresh well of tears begin to boil behind his eyes once more. "I was just trying to finish my poem, and Naruto wouldn't stop bothering me. He's always bothering me. I didn't even do anything."

"You told him to shut up. That's not appropriate language."

"I know that, but what was I supposed to do? It's not like I hit him or anything. I just want him to leave me alone. He's so annoying!"

Sarutobi took a sip of his coffee and sighed. This was one of the more difficult cases. It was possible to arrange for Naruto and Sasuke to be placed in separate classes. After all, school tended to be difficult for some of the smarter kids, if only because of what they had to deal with on top of their academic career. It was also a good business venture to have children like Sasuke thriving. On the other hand, it was going to be a tough road ahead for all of these children, and if they didn't learn how to get along with even the most insufferable of dolts now, then what chance did they really stand out there in the real world?

"There are going to be people in this world with whom you don't get along. That's normal. However, you can't deal with them by yelling at them, calling them names, or fighting with them, though, especially not in school. Do you understand?"

"Yes," said Sasuke, and he ducked his head in shame. He understood that even before this whole mess happened, but he couldn't fight the urge. That stupid Naruto drove him into getting himself in trouble before he could even stop himself. "Are you gonna call my parents?"

Principal Sarutobi shook his head. "You've proven yourself to be an outstanding student academically, and normally you are so quiet and polite. Your teachers talk about you all the time, you know."

Sasuke cracked a small smile at that. It was always nice when someone appreciated all of his hard work.

"Please, don't ever come back into my office under these circumstances again, because next time will have to be different."

"Yes, sir," said Sasuke, relieved beyond words. For once Naruto was right about something. Old man Sarutobi was fair and kind, and Sasuke didn't want to disappoint him. Things would be different from that point on.

In school, anyway.

* * *

Sasuke managed to survive the rest of the day one way or another. His spectacle of panic did not go unnoticed by certain bits of the student body, particularly those unfortunate bathroom goers that went unnoticed, and he had no choice but to deal with the weight of the whispers and the giggles. He wondered if he had already been known as something of a crybaby, though titles such as genius and quiet kid tended to outweigh that. At least until now. As of this day it was practically written all over his forehead.

He told himself that it didn't make much of a difference one way or another. After all, it wasn't like he liked any of the kids that called him names anyway. Come to think of it, he didn't really like anyone. He didn't want any friends. All he wanted was to get through school, make his family proud, and then be left alone.

This is what he liked to tell himself anyway, though he supposed it would have been nice to have even just one friend. Perhaps they were meant to meet on the Hogwarts Express like Harry and Ron, but if he were meant to get a letter from Hogwarts that wouldn't come for three whole years. That's an awfully long time to wait for your first real friend. In the mean time he could keep on trying to tag along with Itachi and his friends. Nagato always wore pants with at least six deep pockets, and all of them had some type of candy in them. It was great for sneaking treats into the movies. Kisame and Deidara were kind of scary, though. Come to think of it, Itachi didn't invite them over much. It was mostly just Nagato.

Speaking of which, Itachi was late. This was the only day of the week his brother picked him up. It was Friday, and every Friday afternoon his mom took care of a woman named Esther who was over a hundred years old. Before Sasuke was born she was a nurse fulltime, but decided after the birth of her second son that the demanding schedule and work load was just too much. That was good. Sasuke loved his mom, and couldn't even imagine her not being there as often as she was. It would have been awfully lonely, though he was getting a bit too old to be attached to his mom at the hip.

"Hey," said Naruto, staring up at Sasuke with his brows furrowed. Sasuke squeezed the edge of the stone wall that he was seated upon and frowned. This kid always looked like he was trying to pick a fight, which was a mistake this far away from the school. After the heart attack Sasuke practically had at the hands of this stupid loser earlier he was more than prepared to make him eat pavement. The last thing he was going to deal with was anymore crap.

"You got a problem, dumbass?" said Sasuke, hopping down from the wall. He stared down the other boy, and though he didn't like what he saw in the slightest, Naruto would not be deterred like he was back at the principal's office.

"Better to be a duh-mbass than a c-ah-c-ah-rybaby!"

Naruto's retort earned him a punch in the jaw that he almost didn't see coming. By the time the other boy's fist flashed toward his mouth it was too late to dodge, and fuck did it hurt. For a pale, scrawny little crybaby nerd, Naruto had to admit that there was some fire behind Sasuke's knuckles, but he wasn't one to be outdone. In return he socked the other boy in the gut, hoping to knock the wind out of him. No such luck. In a mad scramble Sasuke charged into him in an attempt to knock him over, but then Naruto got a hold of his wrists and was pushing him back into the wall. He was gonna make him say 'uncle' until Sasuke hurled the ball of his foot into Naruto's naval, breaking the grip on his wrists. Flexible.

Sasuke threw his fist at Naruto again, this time only grazing the cheek just below his eye. Shit. Naruto got a handful of his hair, holding down his head just long enough to get a knee to the nose. It was very wet pain that squeezed his eyeballs, and blood was pouring down his face. Like that fucking mattered. No more tears, not ever! He _wasn't_ a crybaby! Sasuke launched himself upright and spun around, his elbow jabbing into Naruto's eye. An unintentional stroke of luck. He meant to do that with his fist. Punching this loser felt good. He smirked, but just as that fist was gonna take flight once more, he was stopped by a sudden grab.

"That's enough!" said Itachi, with a grip on each of the boy's arms. Sasuke was frightened to death for all of two seconds until he realized it was just his brother. He let out a sigh of relief, then gagged a bit when the blood spilling from his nostrils got into his mouth. Welcome back, nausea. You weren't missed.

"Let. Me. Go!" said Naruto through barred teeth. He writhed in the teenager's grip. It was hard for Itachi to examine his eye considering how much he was fidgeting, but it looked pretty bad. Itachi was just too far away once the fight broke out to prevent any damage, but they didn't seem to have any intention of stopping until one or both of them could no longer move a muscle. As it was, mother was bound to be hysterical when she saw Sasuke with blood all over his face, possibly bruises all over his body.

"You two had better promise to stay put and not to touch one another. Understood?"

"Damn it. Fine!" Itachi let Naruto go.

"Understood." Itachi let Sasuke go, and dug a tissue out of his pocket for the bloody nose. Good thing he usually came prepared for snot.

"Psyche!" Naruto proceeded to charge on an unsuspecting Sasuke, but Itachi grabbed him by the shirt before he could even get close. He was prepared for that, too. Sasuke was right about one thing. This Naruto wasn't very smart. "Gah! Stop! I was kidding! Come on, mister, you're choking meee..." Itachi wasn't choking him. Naruto was just whining at this point.

"Naruto Uzumaki." He knelt down, released the shirt, and grasped Naruto's shoulder firmly. He seemed to be examining him for some reason, particularly the eye, and it was making him squirm. Sasuke could only half see it, because his head was tilted up while he stanched the flow of blood from his nose, which felt a bit swollen, but definitely not broken. He'd get in trouble if it were broken, and he'd already gotten away with murder today.

In any case, he twitched when he saw Itachi put his hand on Naruto's shoulder like that. _What about me?_ he didn't say.

"Yo, stop looking at me, mister. It's givin' me the creeps, and mom told me not to talk to strangers anyways..."

"Your mom's a school teacher, right? The eleventh grade algebra teacher that yells all of her lectures. She's popular at my school. Did you know that?"

"Aww, you know my mom. Shit, I mean _shoot_. I said shoot. Aww. Now I'm gonna get it." Naruto kicked at a rock that wasn't there, and Itachi smiled at him.

It was a smile that made Sasuke's overly abused stomach do another flip. There's a reason he hasn't eaten a bite since breakfast. He wanted to toss away his tissue and declare that he still existed, but his nose was still bleeding. Damn it all to hell.

"Could you tell cryba-" Itachi cleared his throat. "Err, SASUKE. Could you tell SASUKE to say he's sorry?" Naruto swung his bookbag around and yanked out a beat up old book. _Through the Looking Glass_ by Lewis Carroll, not one of Itachi's favorites, but Sasuke sure seemed to like it. That was probably why Itachi was sick of it. Come to think of it, it had a pretty ancient price tag on it, half peeled from the bottom left corner, exactly like his old copy. "Look. He forgot it, OK! I was gonna be nice and give him back his book, right, and then he called me a dumbass and hit me, so I-"

"You called me a fuckin' crybaby!" Sasuke only belted loud enough for half the town to hear, and though his nose was no longer bleeding his face was a war zone of caked over blood and dirt.

"Sasuke!" Itachi's chastising tone froze his insides, but Sasuke refused to cry. Refused. Never, ever, ever again. It took him just two minutes to black out and earn that title. He knew it would take a lot longer to earn that title's death, and it would have to start right here, right now. No more tears. Never again. "Language."

"Sorry," said Sasuke.

"This is going to stop right now, both of you." Itachi had a twelve pack of wet sanitizing wipes on him where he kept his tissues, as always, and handed each boy one. Sasuke wiped all of the blood off of his face, whereas Naruto just kind of stared at his until it occurred to him that he, too, had blood stains in various places. Yeah, it wouldn't blow over too well with his mom to come home covered in blood. "Naruto, where do you live?"

"Just down the street," he murmured, and it took Itachi a second to catch it, but he nodded. Naruto would be leading the way anyway. There was a trash can nearby where the boys tossed their wipes, and they just kind of found various cracks and rocks on the ground to stare at. They were both in trouble and knew it.

"Great. We're going to escort Naruto home, Sasuke, understood?"

"Whatever," said Sasuke.

"Umm, I don't..." Naruto started, but there was no point in finishing that thought. Itachi wasn't having it.

"And you're going to hold hands the entire way there."

"WHAT?!" They snapped in unison, which was almost cute, except Itachi was quite annoyed. He needed to nip this in the bud now, or it was going to happen again. And again. Mother was gonna wonder about the cuts and bruises, and he'd leave it up to Sasuke to make up a convincing enough lie, because he was going to. Itachi had to cover the evidence as much as possible up until then, but more importantly he had to make sure this never happened again, especially on a day he was responsible for the brat. He refused to get into trouble over someone else's petty scuffles, especially an eight year old kid's. It was bad enough he was going to have to explain to Mrs. Uzumaki, and possibly her husband, why their son was gonna wake up with a shiner. He would have to somehow convince them not to tell his parents, and that was going to be tricky.

"Hands. Now. Neither of you are in any position to argue."

True enough. For the second time today Naruto stuck out his hand, but it wasn't an offer. It was a demand. _Let's just get this over with._ Sasuke just kind of glared at it at first, then he sighed and grabbed it. Their hands were sticky from sanitary wipe, and Sasuke's was even slick with sweat. They made a silent pact to never speak of this. Even managed to do it without looking at one another.

"All right, Naruto, lead the way," Itachi said, and that was that.

**TBC**


	3. Children Communicate

Children Communicate

* * *

"_Good afternoon, Mrs. Uzumaki. It's Principal Sarutobi. Naruto was sent to my office once again today. That's the second time this week he's been sent to me for disrupting the class, and if I see him one more time I'm going to have to suspend him. Please-" _

_Beep._ "Message deleted," said an automated female voice.

"NA-RU-TO!" belted a rather loud woman with long red hair. She punched the surface of the telephone stand, causing the answering machine and caller I.D. to hop and knocking the phone right off the hook. She picked up the fallen object and slammed it back into place, then went on a frantic pace about the living room. "What's gotten into you lately?"

One would think that Kushina Uzumaki's parenting was a tad too lax considering her son's penchant for misbehavior, and in some ways one would be right. His grades were never great, and lately his behavior at school has been problematic. So far he'd gotten off with a slap on the wrist and no desserts after dinner for a week once, but otherwise Kushina just didn't feel right about taking anything away from her boy. She had her hands full enough holding down the fort while her husband was out on business with the Navy. It would be at least five months before he returned home, and Naruto always missed his dad something fierce when he was gone, even if he wouldn't admit it. The last thing that was on her mind were the various ways to punish her boy, but it seemed like his promises to "never do it again" were empty, and he had exhausted her tolerance.

It was weird, though. He was an angel at home. He did all of his chores, ate all of the food off of his plate, and went to bed at a reasonable hour. It was hard to believe that he was quite as bad as the school made him out to be, but she had been a math teacher for five years now, and already knew all too well that there were good kids who did bad things. She was worried that Naruto's record would be littered sky high with disciplinary reports, and what that would mean for his future, naturally; however, she herself was no model for perfect behavior in her earliest years of academia, and wouldn't learn of her passion for education until her senior year of high school, and she turned out perfectly all right. She started off in community college and married Minato when she was eighteen, just before he had enlisted, and she'd been perfectly happy ever since. She had complete faith that her son's future would be a bright one.

Even so, she was tired of the calls. It was a bit embarrassing to be a school teacher with a child who wouldn't behave. How many people must have questioned her ability to discipline three classes of eighteen to twenty-four kids when she had her hands full at home with one? _Bah, what would they know! _ she had to reassure herself constantly. Everyone's a critic, after all, and again Naruto really wasn't a bad kid. Not even close. He was just lonely without his dad around.

He didn't seem to get along with most of his classmates, though. That worried her. Occasionally Kushina would invite the Nara family over for dinner, and Naruto would fire up the Game Cube. Him and Shikamaru seemed to get along whenever the Naras came over, though that was about it. Otherwise he didn't really seem to find where he fit in quite yet.

So imagine her surprise when the doorbell rang, and she was greeted by the sight of her son standing next to another boy. Both boys looked roughed up with various cuts and bruises, and Naruto's eye was swollen. An accident? Surely it couldn't have been bullies! Because if it were then there would be hell to pay.

"Naruto, what in the world happened?" she asked, dropping to her knees. She tilted up his head, examining his eye, the occasional specks of dried blood, the blood on his knee, his pants. No matter where she twisted his little head, he refused to look her in the eye, and groaned and "mooooom'd" at her a few times.

"Ma'am, I can explain," said Itachi, snagging her attention. She was startled, having not really noticed this older boy at first. He looked vaguely familiar to her in a way she couldn't quite put her finger on. Perhaps he was a student that she had seen in the halls at one point or another. He looked about that age, but it was hard to tell with kids these days. Some middle schoolers looked like adults, where some college kids looked like middle schoolers, and more often than not her guesses were wrong. Not that it really mattered. The only thing that mattered was that her baby was beat up, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

"Please, come in," said Kushina, ushering in the three boys. She didn't mean to slam the door shut behind her. A nearby vase rattled, but it didn't fall. Not this time, anyway. There was a reason she and Minato only owned plastic ones. Several, actually, and most of them weren't because of Naruto.

"Ma'am?" Itachi inquired, his hand gripping Sasuke's tiny shoulder. It'd be a stretch to say that he was scared, or so he would have you believe with that impartial expression he often had on his face.

"Go on! Like, find a place to sit. I'll grab the first aid kit and something to drink. Yeah."

* * *

And so they sat, and exactly no one was comfortable in the quaint little living space. The three of them sat on large, brown couch, and Itachi placed himself between the boys to prevent anymore fighting. Besides, they deserved a break from one another after having to hold hands the entire way here. Neither of them said a word. Sasuke just slouched, which drove mother nuts, but Itachi chose to let it slide at the moment. Naruto had his arms crossed and was pouting. These damn children. Well, at least they were being quiet, and that in and of itself was golden.

In any case, the Uzumaki home was much different from the Uchiha household. For starters, it was obvious that the main room was occupied by human bodies far more than once a year, judging by the wear and tear on the couch fabric. Resting in the corner was a 32 inch television upon on a chipped wooden hope chest. Hooked to the TV was a DVD player and, oddly enough, a VCR. Itachi hadn't seen one of those since he was barely out of diapers, and doubted Sasuke even knew what it was. To the right of the TV was the hall that lead to the stairs, or the kitchen. To the left were shelves upon shelves upon shelves of DVDs, VHS tapes (mostly of old Disney movies), tons of CDs, and even some video games, though there didn't appear to be a Game Cube, or PlayStation 2 console in sight, though he figured they were around somewhere. This actually reminded Itachi of Kisame's house.

There was only one bookcase, and it was packed with the same sort of romance paperbacks his own mom devoured. She was an avid reader of everything, like Sasuke was and Itachi used to be, but romance seemed to be her go to these days. Exactly none of those authors whose names stood out to him were any good. Strewn across the room was various Navy paraphernalia: a leather vest hung on a chair, some pamphlets, a hat, and the large American flag taking up almost an entire wall also spoke volumes. Well, it was pretty easy to guess what Naruto's father had been up to. He figured it wasn't Kushina's stuff, considering her steady job and busy home life.

"OK, let's get you boys cleaned up, huh?" said Kushina, whipping out the first aid kit.

"Come on, mom. The guy already-"

"Can it!" she snapped, and yanked his blood encrusted leg toward her. "You're in enough trouble as it is, buster. Principal Sarutobi called again. Mind explaining that?"

He let out the world's most exaggerated groan as Kushina took a sanitizing wipe and practically rubbed his knee raw. Itachi figured he'd grab one of his own and tend to Sasuke, so not to give her any ideas of doing it herself. Unlike Naruto, Sasuke was more thorough in blood removal, which was amazing considering that it was his nose that was bleeding, though it was pretty clear that Sasuke came from a family that was not only smarter, but more meticulous. Itachi did put a bandaid on a cut above Sasuke's eyebrow, though.

"Your eye is swelling. Oh right! The drinks!" Kushina ran out of the room, and Naruto's back sank into the couch. He looked like he was trying to melt into it. When she returned she had him place a frozen water bottle on the bad eye, and gave Itachi and Sasuke each a luke warm bottle from which to drink. "Sorry they're not refrigerated."

"There is no need to apologize, ma'am," said Itachi. "In fact, I should be apologizing to you. This is all my fault."

"What is?" said Kushina.

"Excuse me. I have something to say," Sasuke interrupted. Naruto's brows drew down into a V and he glared at the other boy. Itachi said nothing. Kushina was surprised, as though a ghost had suddenly appeared in the room. She was just conscious enough of his presence, but hadn't expected him to speak up and say anything.

Sasuke cleared his throat. "OK, first of all, it's not Itachi's fault. It's Naruto's!"

"Bullcrap!" said Naruto. "You're the-"

"Naruto!" said Kushina, and everyone was silent. "OK, let's start from the beginning, yeah? Itachi? You speak first, dear."

"Yes, ma'am," said Itachi, as though he knew it would come to this anyway. "As I was saying, this is all my fault. I'm responsible for my brother today, and I was running late picking him up from school.

"By the time I spotted Sasuke he and Naruto had already started swinging their fists at each other. I caught up to them as quickly as I could to break it up. I should have known it would come to that. A few nights ago Sasuke was complaining about your son distracting him in class, and all I did was tease him. He's normally very shy and mild-mannered, so I wasn't expecting him to get into a fight."

"Gosh, are you his brother, or his father?" Kushina was stunned by the amount of responsibility Itachi was willing to take for this, and was charmed by his maturity. What she couldn't see was the smirk behind his eyes. It was a smirk that said that they would get out of this without his mother finding out all too easily. Grown ups weren't as smart as they liked to believe they were sometimes, even if they were school teachers.

"As for you," said Kushina, pulling Naruto's ear. "Fart jokes in class is one thing, but if you're going to go around picking fights then I'm going to have to take away your TV, your games, and your bike!"

"I didn't pick any fights! I'm telling you, damn it, he started it! He hit me first! Believe it!"

"You got me in trouble!" Sasuke shouted, and Itachi held out his arm in case the brat got any ideas about pouncing the other one. "It's really true, Mrs. Uzumaki. He was making fun of me, so I told him to shut up, and the teacher sent us to the principal."

_Shit._ That part Itachi didn't know about, and if Sarutobi called he would have reached mother on her cell phone. On the bright side, Itachi wasn't responsible for Sasuke while he was in school, but keeping the fight secret from their parents had just become a whole lot harder.

"I've never gotten sent to the principal before, so I was scared. Then everyone started calling me a crybaby. Make him leave me alone!" That last bit had such a whining screech to it that Itachi was shocked that his ears weren't bleeding. He loved his brother. He did. But Sasuke could be insufferable at times, and this was a whole new level for him. As much as Itachi should be on Sasuke's side by default, he had to admit that Naruto had a point. Crybaby indeed.

"Did you hit him first?" asked Kushina, now in that firm, patented mom tone, rather than her nervous, yammering lilt from before. Sasuke knew that tone all too well. He was backed into a corner now.

"Y-yes." Sasuke ducked his head down and seemed to shrink, and Naruto guffawed as though it were his victory, until Kushina yanked his ear again.

"Did you provoke him?" she asked Naruto, and let his blazing red ear go at last. Rather than answering he just rubbed his ear. "Naruto, did you provoke him, yes or no?"

"Yes? No! I don't get why you're all yelling at me, OK? It's not like I wanted to fight. I just wanted to give him back his book and..." Sasuke looked positively startled when Naruto started to cry, and just as he opened his mouth to say something Itachi hushed him. He'd bop them both if the word "crybaby" surfaced one more time, and Kushina would probably allow it. This situation was rather trying for all of them. "I felt bad for him. I thought Sasuke didn't have any friends because he's nerdy and always brings these really huge books to school with him. But now I think it's just because he's mean."

"I'm not mean. You are!" said Sasuke.

"Sasuke." Itachi held up his hand again, and he was getting close to covering Sasuke's mouth with it. The kid had a talent for saying exactly the wrong things.

"Look, he started it! All I was doing was reading my poem, and he wouldn't let me finish. He embarrassed me, and then I got in trouble because I told him to stop."

"No, you told me to SHUT UP. That was your fault!"

"I wouldn't have said SHUT UP if you didn't embarrass me. I don't like going in front of the class."

"Well, I'm SORRY. OK?" Naruto chewed on his lip, stared at his dirty shoe laces, and wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me. I don't like it."

Oh thank every god and goddess ever conceived in the history of living things. By some miracle the magic words "I'm sorry" popped up without prompting. Itachi and Kushina exchanged a similar stunned, yet relieved look, and yeah, perhaps Itachi did feel more like Sasuke's parent rather than his brother at the moment. He even made a personal note to never, ever have kids.

"Uh," said Sasuke, and he looked down at his dirty knees. "Just don't do it again, please."

"Sure," said Naruto, almost in a whisper.

"Thank you for giving me back my book. And... I'm sorry I hit you."

"It's OK. It didn't hurt."

"Yeah, well yours didn't hurt neither."

Itachi had to resist the urge to correct his brother's flawed English like he always did, but this back and forth was of unprecedented excellence and took no effort on his part. He'd be an idiot to cut into it. Kushina's cheeks were rosy and her face had broken out into one of the biggest smiles Itachi had ever thought capable on any human being. She clapped her hands together and practically sang the words on her tongue.

"Great! Now that we're all friends why don't you two like stay for dinner? We'd love to have you. Right, peanut?"

"Oy, don't call me peanut," Naruto grumbled, but then he turned toward Sasuke, and despite how uneasy he felt, he smiled just like his mom. Startled by the sudden attention, Sasuke tried to sink behind his brother's arm, but Itachi pushed him back out. He was used to his little brother's ridiculous shyness, and couldn't wait for him to get over it. A friend, any friend, was exactly what the doctor ordered. Hopefully they'd be able to get along from here on out.

"You like video games, Sasuke?"

"Video games? Umm. I-"

"Of course you do." Naruto hopped off of the couch and grabbed Sasuke's wrist. "Come on. I got _Soul Calibur II_ and _Mario Kart_. Do you like fighters? Racers? Beat-em-ups? Adventures? Shooters? My dad's favorite game is _Metroid Prime_."

"I don't-"

The words _"I've never played any"_ never did manage to squeak by Sasuke's lips by the time they disappeared up the stairs, and it was all too familiar. It was just like the time Itachi discovered video games through Kisame.

"I guess I won't be taking away his video games after all. That boy really surprises me sometimes," said Kushina, who continued with her ear-to-ear grin. "Despite his issues, he's surprisingly mature for his age. It makes me sad in a way.

"And Sasuke's just wonderful. I could tell how difficult it was for him to apologize. I'm surprised."

"You and me both. Sasuke's the type to hold a grudge, too." Itachi threaded his fingers through his bangs and let out a deep sigh. And tonight was supposed to be so easy. They were supposed to just go on home like every Friday. Mother left out a twenty dollar bill so he could procure dinner for Sasuke and himself. He was thinking Chinese, but a home cooked meal sounded far more appealing. All it did was cost him a few sanitary wipes and a whole lot of stress. And now he knew Sasuke had been sent to the principal today. Fantastic. Itachi, having never been sent to Principal Sarutobi under unfortunate circumstances himself, wasn't sure how that went. He could imagine it being really scary, though, and the school probably called. Mother would have a cow. Father... oh man. Perhaps it was best to let the little guy have a few hours of fun before getting his ass skinned.

"OK, time to start dinner. I was thinking, like, lobster and caviar!"

"Sorry. Sasuke and I are allergic to shellfish," said Itachi.

"Oh. Well, that's OK. Because what I meant was burgers and hotdogs on the grill, of course. Yum! It's almost too cold for it, you know? Mac-n-cheese and broccoli spears, too. Now PLEASE tell me you all aren't lactose intolerant vegans with, like, Celiac disease, or you two'll just be eating broccoli."

"No, our only food allergy is shellfish."

"That's really funny," said Kushina, humming on her way to the kitchen. "You know, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth I used to date this guy who was allergic to shellfish. Actually, some days I could swear the only things he wasn't allergic to were coffee and cigarettes. He was no fun to cook for."

"Is that so?" That sounded a fair bit like his father, come to think of it, back before he quit smoking.

"You kind of look like him, come to think of it," she said, leaning in to examine his face a bit closer. Then she elbowed him in the rib and chuckled. "'Cept you're more handsome. Say, you wouldn't happen to be related to a man with a stick up his tush by the name of Fugaku Uchiha, would you?"

She obviously meant it as a joke, so much so that when Itachi said "He's my father" she took it as one. For awhile she just seemed to forget about it and went outside to fire up the grill. The coincidence was too bizarre to register, and Itachi decided to file that away in the minute detail portion of his brain where he wouldn't mull over it too much. He had to admit that it was pretty funny when she said he had "a stick up his tush" though. He could only imagine the strange array of reactions Fugaku would have to that these days.

Since she shoo'd him away to concentrate on dinner, Itachi decided to head upstairs and see what the two boys were up to. It sounded an awful lot like _Soul Calibur_, which Itachi gathered from Kilik's many cries of "katsu" or "cats" or whatever it was. He just knew that Deidara always played as Kilik and it was always annoying. Itachi was partial to Ivy himself, just to piss everybody off, which often worked. It wasn't as funny as owning his friends with Donkey Kong in _Melee_ and _Mario Party_, though. He wondered if Naruto had _Melee_, and if he did why the hell weren't they playing that instead?

"WHAT? No fair. How are you whooping this much butt already? There's no way this is your first video game," said Naruto, apparently frustrated from having lost to the almighty "cats," well, assuming Sasuke was the one playing as Kilik. He must have been. Itachi distinctly heard the sound of a female character being defeated upon arrival.

"All I did was push a bunch of buttons really fast," said Sasuke. "But you're right. Sometimes mom lets me play her _Tetris_ whenever she has a migraine and wants me to go away. That's the only game she ever plays."

"_Tetris_ is boring. I hate those stupid puzzle games. They're just as boring as those stupid _Final Fantasy_ games. Now, _Kingdom Hearts_ is fun because you get to beat the crap out of stuff, but I always get stuck in that game because it's really hard, so dad has to help me when he comes home."

"When's your dad coming home?"

"In the spring. At least that's what mom says."

"What does he do? Is he an astronaut, or something?"

"No! He's in the Navy."

"Oh. Cool."

"Yeah, pretty cool, huh? My dad's a real hero, you know. I can't wait until you meet him. He's really good at video games, and he's like the nicest person in the world. You'd like him."

"That's good."

"So what's your dad like?"

Itachi flinched upon hearing the question, and could tell by the silence that Sasuke had done the same. It wasn't that they didn't love their father. It was actually incredible how much he had done for them, how hard he worked every single day. Sometimes, though, he seemed a little too distant, like he lost sight of just what he worked so hard for. Itachi certainly didn't feel close to the man, so much as his expectations of his sons. He expected both of his kids to be talented, though Itachi was the only one who could do it without effort. Sasuke had a lot of catching up to do, which was no fault of his. Itachi had about six years on him, among other things.

"He works all the time, and he's really strict. I'm gonna be the best, just like my brother, so that he'll be proud of me."

"You're already the best. Nobody else reads big nerd books like you do."

"It's just _Harry Potter_. I bet you could read it, too."

"Yeah right. I never read. That's why I think those _Final Fantasy_ games really boring. Too much reading."

"Huh? How do you read a video game? Is it like a story, but a game, too?"

Itachi had to laugh. Sometimes when Sasuke tried to express himself he sounded so silly. Itachi supposed that came with the territory of being a little kid, though he couldn't recall having that problem himself. If he did then Shisui never told him, and he's the only one that actually would.

"Itachi?" said Sasuke, poking his head out of the room. "Stupid. What are you laughing at?"

"Hey, bro," said Naruto, peaking out from behind Sasuke. "Come play with us."

"He's not your bro. He's mine."

"Tch, who cares? He's cool. He should play with us."

"I'm honored," said Itachi, taking a small bow. It wasn't uncommon for him to be referred to as "cool," but it sounded nice coming from Naruto somehow. He had his group of friends, so it wasn't like his peers were hard to please, and his teachers adored him. That was always a given, even with the hard asses. Little kids were harder to please, particularly like Sasuke who mastered the art of complaining at the tender age of eight. All Itachi had to do was break up a fight and bring Naruto home to mommy and somehow he was cool. OK then. Must have been the hair.

**TBC**

**A/N:** Unlike eight year old Naruto, our dorkus maximus of an author is actually an enormous fan of RPGs and OMG hnngg dat PS4. Dat KHIII and FFXV. Fother mucker. _Tales of Symphonia_ HD remake for the PS3, and _Kingdom Hearts 1.5_, andand _Tales of Xillia_. And _Pokemon X & Y_. And the next _Smash Bros._ game with Mega Man! Can you say BROKE? Because that's what I'm gonna be! Haha, this author's note has very little to do with this fic. Anyway, let me know what you think! Your thoughts matter to me.


	4. Different Seasons

Different Seasons

* * *

_6 January 2006, 8:27AM _

* * *

It wasn't the first snow of the year so far, but apparently the only one that counted. Sasuke managed to drag himself out of bed once he had to pee bad enough. It was well past eight already, and the frigid air and hard wood floors assaulted his pale flesh. Mom's routine wake up parade consisting of her, Itachi, and sometimes even dad wasn't looking to spill him from his mattress if he didn't wake the hell up, which only meant one thing: today was a snow day. He could feel it tickle every inch of his skin, smell it in the air, and may have caught a quick glimpse of it out the window through muggy, not-quite-awake-yet vision. Teacher even said it was going to snow, and assigned extra homework just in case. He remembered the entire class groaning about that, but of course Sasuke had already finished all of it. Math was easy.

He had a good pee, then spent extra time brushing his teeth to avoid stepping off the stool and onto the cold bathroom tiles as much as possible (he really needed to stop forgetting to ask Santa for new slippers each Christmas. Too late now. Stupid January.) Itachi was rapping on the door by the time his gums were raw, and he cringed at the sudden cold of the floor once more. He supposed a bit of sock skating through the house was in order, although he did fall down and hurt his chin that last time. It didn't help that he'd developed a small fear of knocking out his teeth lately, since the new ones never grew back. Getting old was such a drag.

"You'd better run downstairs. The phone's for you, peanut," said Itachi, giving the mini Uchiha a gentle push out the door.

"I'm not a peanut," Sasuke grumbled, but complied. That was weird, because the phone wasn't ever for him, unless it was grandma, and he didn't really like talking to grandma. She only ever talked about church and eighty gajillion cousins that he didn't even know. See, his dad was one of eleven siblings, and most of them had kids, and some of them already had kids who had kids. Sometimes at Uchiha family gatherings they would go to Aunty Rei's house, and there would be at least fifty people there without fail. They hadn't gone to their Christmas party in the past three years because mom got in an argument with someone, and dad refused to be seen there without his wife and kids. Mom didn't really get along with grandma or any of the aunties and uncles for some reason. Sasuke didn't want to go anymore because Itachi had stopped going, and it was really lonely without him. So yeah, Sasuke hoped it wasn't grandma. He didn't want to spend three hours talking about some family Christmas party he never even went to.

"Sasuke, phone!" said mom, once he reached the bottom step.

"I know, I'm coming." He ran into the kitchen from there and picked it up, bracing himself for the rickety ancient drawl of grandma. "Hello?"

What he got instead was emphatic whooping and barking into the phone. From two feet away from his face him and his mom heard the words "Snow day! Snow day!" explode from that skinny piece of plastic. She chuckled to herself and went about whatever she must have been doing before the phone rang. Smelled distinctly of pancakes and coffee.

"Naruto, stop yelling. You'll wake up the whole world."

"Man, never mind that. Mom's home, too, and said she'd walk us to the park in a couple hours so we can go sledding."

"I don't have a sled," said Sasuke. He'd only ever had one, but he outgrew it, so mom donated it. He didn't really consider this decision at the time, seeing as she did it during the summer, and she was always clearing out the attic and stuff. All Sasuke was really concerned with at the time was reading, kicking his soccer ball around in the sprinklers, his upcoming birthday, and any possible moment Itachi could hang out with him. Summer was so good compared to stupid winter.

"Dude, that's OK. I got a new one for Christmas, so I'll give you my old one. And Mom said you can come over for dinner if it's OK with your parents."

"Sure, I'll ask mom," said Sasuke, watching as his mother piled a plate high with strawberry pancakes. She must have been stuck at home, too, because she didn't cook like this very often. Usually he had toast, or an apple for breakfast.

"Ask mom what?" said Mikoto, turning off the burner. She called out for Itachi and Fugaku, then turned her attention toward Sasuke.

"Naruto wants to hang out today, and his mom said that I could come over their house for dinner if it's OK with you and dad."

"I thought you and that Naruto boy weren't friends."

"Mom, he's been my friend for like three months now. You know that."

"Then how come I haven't met his mother?" She crossed her arms and stared down at her son with a sly grin on her face.

"I don't know, but she's gonna come over to pick me up, so you can just meet her then."

"She'd better not be driving in this weather! You're not getting into a car."

"Hello?" said Naruto on the line, evidently feeling forgotten.

"Naruto's mom said that she's walking us there. They don't live far away, just by the school," said Sasuke, not answering Naruto.

"Tell his mother you can go just as long as I can speak to her first."

"OK." Sasuke's attention went back to Naruto. "Hello, Naruto? Mom says that I can go just as long as she can talk to your mom about it first."

"Yay! This is gonna be so fun. Snow days on Fridays are the best. I don't even have to do my homework!

"So mom says that we're coming over at eleven, so you have to be ready. OK? Bye."

_Click. _"Bye," said Sasuke, even though the line was already dead. So before he even knew it he had his own first real play date with Naruto. It was weird, their uneasy little friendship that started off on really bad terms. In a way Sasuke still didn't really like the kid. He knew for a fact that he wasn't the one who gave Naruto his phone number, for starters. If he had to venture a guess he'd say that it was Itachi's doing, because Naruto was way too dumb to look it up in a phone book. Even if he wasn't, the Uchiha family's phone number probably wasn't even in there anyway, so Itachi was most likely it. Speaking of which, Naruto had an unfortunate habit of referring to Itachi as "bro," no matter how many times Sasuke told him not to do that. Itachi was his brother and his only! Sasuke only agreed to share that one time, and only because he felt bad. Though he wouldn't outright admit it, least of all to himself, he got really, really jealous whenever Naruto and Itachi interacted.

* * *

_10 October 2005, 11:35AM_

* * *

It rained like crazy, with no sign of stopping anytime in the near future. They were trapped under the fist of a low pressure system since Thursday of last week, and at absolute best there were breaks of just plain overcast. The entire class groaned at the prospect of yet another indoor recess, especially after a rainy weekend. Unfortunately they couldn't go to the gym because there was a class there at the moment. The teacher broke out the crayons, the color sheets, and the brain teasers in an effort to placate the restless body of second graders.

Few were content. Shikamaru fiddled with a rubix cube, Chouji fished goldfish crackers out of his pockets, Ino blew Sasuke a kiss (which was why he generally avoided looking in her direction, damn it all), Shino took every color sheet with pictures of bugs, and Kiba complained about him hogging all the crayons. Hinata always sat by herself, too shy to really talk to anyone. Some people were mean and still called her Pee-nata, which wasn't funny anymore. Sasuke was biased, though, because it was the same stupid jerks that still called him a crybaby. One of these days he would be President of the United States and ship all bullies to a deserted island where they could die in a volcano, or get eaten by sharks and poisonous snakes and spiders and ghosts and stuff.

The new girl, Sakura Haruno, was a lot like Sasuke in that she was the only other person in class to ever bring books from home. She read stuff like_ Nancy Drew_, _Cam Jansen_, _The Boxcar Children_, and other stuff Sasuke found kind of boring. Sometimes she had Roald Dahl books, but otherwise he didn't have anything in common with her, so he never talked to her. She was a girl anyway, and girls made him uncomfortable, especially girls like Ino who threatened to kiss him and gave him goggly-eyes. So gross. The best girls ever were Alice and Hermione Granger, and neither of them existed. He contemplated shipping girls off to that bully island, too, and only his mom could stay, and maybe Hinata, if she promised not to kiss him. Ever. _EVER._

Sasuke took a seat on one of the bean bags in the back of the class and whipped out _The Giver_. This was actually his second time reading it, but he picked up the wrong book on the way out, so what else can you do? The only books the teacher had in the class were picture books, and Sasuke outgrew those when he was about four. His parents saw to it that he'd always be a step ahead of everyone, and that maybe he'd skip a grade like Itachi did. He had yet to skip any grades sadly. It'd get him away from Ino, for one. There was still plenty of time, though, and his test scores and homework were always flawless. All he had to do was keep it up, right?

"May I join you?" a sudden voice blurted. A girl voice. Shit.

Sasuke peered out from above his book suspiciously. It was Sakura, and today she had _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_. He was almost compelled to mention that it and the others were some of his favorite books, but all he did was shrug. "It's a free country." Then he went back to his own book. He noticed her face was all red, and she wasn't looking at him, but she didn't say anything else. She just took the bean bag next to his and they read in silence while the rest of the class did whatever they did. He didn't like the way Sakura giggled occasionally, and dealt with it by ignoring her. Sometimes it was the only way.

What he couldn't ignore was the sound of a whoopie cushion being squeezed into his ear sometime later.

"YAH!" Luckily it didn't startle him badly enough to void his bladder, but he did hop back so far that he wound up sprawled spreadeagle upon Sakura's lap. Both of their books went flying out of their hands, and suddenly the air was filled with Naruto's obnoxious laughter.

"That was really immature, Naruto. I'm telling!" said Sakura, pushing herself out from under Sasuke.

"Wait!" said Sasuke, stopping her in her tracks. She turned around and Sasuke handed her back her book. "I'm sorry about that. Don't tell on him. I don't wanna be involved."

"But Sasuke..."

"I said don't tell on him!" _God, why do girls always have to be so stupid_, he didn't say. If they weren't in class where the teacher might have heard him then he might have.

"OK, I won't," said Sakura, walking back to her desk with her shoulders hunched. She looked like she was about to cry, but as long as she didn't tell on him and Naruto that wouldn't be his problem. He supposed from that moment on she was the second least terrible girl in the class, except for the way she giggled, and the way that her hair was actually pink. Was that some sort of genetic muta... mutilation? Or something? He'd have to ask Itachi later. Sasuke hated the color pink so much. Looking at pink was like getting punched in the eyes.

"You didn't have to be a jerk to her," said Naruto. "I don't care if she tells on me. I just wanted to scare you."

"I don't care if you get in trouble. I don't wanna get in trouble because of something_ you_ did," said Sasuke, taking Sakura's vacant bean bag since Naruto decided to occupy his. He picked his book back up, having completely lost his place, and pretended to read in an effort to ignore the other boy. This lasted all of five seconds.

"So you know it's my birthday today, right?" said Naruto.

"Happy birthday," said Sasuke, not even bothering to look at him.

"What'd you get me?"

Sasuke dug around in his pockets and produced a nickel that he found on the ground earlier. His change jar was full anyway. He had to remind his mom to take it to the bank sometime, because he spent the entire year filling it. He couldn't wait to see how much he made.

"Here."

"A nickel? Really?" said Naruto, frowning at the sad little coin in his hand. "My dad mailed me twenty dollars."

"I didn't know it was your birthday, stupid. Take the nickel and leave me alone."

"Don't call me stupid. You're stupid! Giving me a nickel for my birthday. You can't even buy a piece of candy with a nickel!"

"You can if you collect more nickels. That's how money works. You'd know that if you weren't, guess what? Stoo-ped!"

"Bah! I knew that. Who cares anyways? I have a better idea."

"Whatever."

"Can I just, like, hang out with you and bro today?"

"Yuh... uh... " said Sasuke, sputtering. That question came completely out of nowhere, and by the time he gathered any sort of coherent thoughts indoor recess was over, and Naruto whooped and slapped his shoulder, somehow thinking that meant yes.

"Thanks. You're a real pal, Sauce."

"Don't call me Sauce!" said Sasuke. "And Itachi isn't YOUR bro. He's MINE." _And we're not pals. Not... really. _

"Sauce, if you want to give me a real present you'll let bro be my bro for the rest of the day. I'll even give you a nickel if you say yes."

"No! And if you call me Sauce one more time I'll start calling you Naru-turd."

"Like I haven't heard THAT one before."

"Everyone get to your seats. Naruto, Sasuke, that means you!" said the teacher, and much to Sasuke's dismay Naruto would be joining him after school. Mom had recently picked up a new part-time job at an arts and crafts shop on Mondays and Wednesdays, so there were now more days that Itachi picked him up. It just so happened to be a Monday today, so he couldn't even use the excuse that his mom would be picking him up. There was no talking Naruto out of this hair-brained idea that Sasuke would actually be sharing Itachi with him today. Heck, there was no guarantee that Itachi would even say yes. All Itachi had to do was say no, and heck knows that he's said it to Sasuke enough times. Yeah, it'd be fine.

Though a small part of Sasuke still felt kind of bad for Naruto. After all, it was his birthday, and look at what kind of day it was. It was cold, gray, raining, and it was on a school day. Sasuke's birthday was in July, so he never had that particular problem. He could imagine it being really crappy. Not to mention the teacher didn't wish Naruto happy birthday or anything like she sometimes did for other students. Maybe he didn't tell her it was his birthday? That was weird. That seemed like the sort of thing Naruto would broadcast all the way to the end of the universe.

At the end of the day Sasuke decided that he simply had to deal with it, come what may. But that didn't mean he had to like it. So help him he'd get Naruto back for every time he called Itachi "bro."

* * *

_28 April 2006, 3:21PM _

* * *

This particular Friday happened to be a very nice day. They had been just a few weeks past the point of lingering winter chills, though technically the weather could at any point still take a turn for the worst and dump cold stuff on them. Snow in May was not unheard of, but thanks to global warming it wasn't terribly likely, which worked for Sasuke. He was sick of winter. He was also thinking of asking his mom if he could find a soccer or basket ball team to join at some point. She said academics were his priority, but since his grades were flawless and he found himself with enough free time to read a book a day and occasionally deal with Naruto, there was no reason for her to say no.

Speaking of Naruto, approximately six months ago Sasuke and Naruto had become sort of friends, but not really. More like Sasuke just kind of hung around, and Naruto would come find him whenever the urge hit. His feelings toward Naruto reduced in bitterness since certain members of their class grew bored of calling him a crybaby, though one kid called him an emofag once, whatever that meant. It was the same kid that got expelled for sneaking into the girl's bathroom and putting itching powder all over the sinks and toilets. Not even Naruto was stupid enough to pull crap like that.

"You ready to go, Sasuke?" said Itachi, poking his preoccupied brother in the forehead. Sasuke rubbed the tingles out of that spot and smiled. His brother was really fun. Unlike mom and dad he didn't nag Sasuke about homework and chores. He was tempted to tell his brother to give him a piggy back ride if he was so short, but before he could say anything he was cut off by an all too familiar yell from the school gates.

"Yes! Bro! Brooo!" Naruto tackled Itachi around the waist in the biggest hug, laughing and grinning like this was the greatest day of his life. "Oh my god, I'm so glad I caught you guys. You HAVE to come with me, it's so great! Believe it!"

"What's so great?" said Itachi, amused. Sasuke pouted, and turned away when Itachi ruffled the other boy's hair. He knew what this was all about, why Naruto was so happy. He heard about it only a thousand times today. It was great and all, but Naruto really needed to stop calling Itachi "bro." Sasuke still hated that.

"Dad's home! Dad's home! Mom and me are going to the airport to go get him and said you guys can come. You get to meet my dad! I told him all about you guys, and he said he can't wait to meet you."

"Mother did mention that Mrs. Kushina wanted to pick us up today," said Itachi. "I wasn't going to trouble her on such a nice day, but this is good news. Congratulations, Naruto."

"Haha, hehe," said Naruto, not quite able to form coherent words between grins and giggles. Even their teacher was more tolerant of it today than usual. Sasuke supposed he could be more tolerant of his antics, too. He didn't even voice a single complaint once Naruto directed his urge to hug anything that breathed at Sasuke... again. He practically pounced on Sasuke on the playground earlier, and almost choked him during lunch. People were staring. Now Naruto just kind of hung onto him from behind like a cape draped over his backpack, and he could feel his friend's happy little chortles vibrating into his neck. Before it was annoying, but now it was just contagious. He confessed. He smiled. Just a little, though.

Kushina pulled over in her red Volkswagen Jetta and honked her horn several times, _Back in Black_ blaring from the open windows. Naruto called shot gun, but Kushina gave it to Itachi anyway. That couldn't possibly ruin his mood, though. He only took it as an opportunity to bug Sasuke with traffic-related games that he brought up on the spot.

"Yellow punch buggy, no punch back!" said Naruto, upon spotting a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, like the one dad often threatened to buy.

"Quit it!" said Sasuke, rubbing the shoulder Naruto had sucker punched. He got Naruto back a few minutes later upon spotting a blue Beetle. He might have laughed too much at that. He proceeded to punch buggy Naruto three more times in a row upon spotting a red one, another blue one, and a silver one.

"Oh yeah? Did you know that the FedEx has a arrow in the in the label between 'E' and 'X'?" said Naruto, pointing at a FedEx truck in the other lane.

"Duh! Everyone knows that," said Sasuke, rolling his eyes.

"I saw a guy that has a Hawaii license plate once. How do you suppose he got his car over?" said Naruto.

"Obvious he flew it over."

"He coulda brought it over by boat."

"You mean ship, 'cause boat's not big enough."

"I wish I had a boat." Naruto grinned so that all of his teeth were showing. "I'd go sailing with my dad.

"Mom, are we there yet?"

"Don't start that, Naruto. It's still about twenty minutes away," said Kushina, merging into the passing lane. She had a lead foot, too, and the cops could suck it. Itachi was rather impressed by how fast she was going, and she flipped off a few cars, too. It was kind of scary.

Naruto dealt with the fact that he had to wait by taking out his Nintendo DS and playing _Super Mario 64 DS_, the only game he had for it at the moment. He had no complaints where Mario was concerned, and was kept sufficiently amused while Sasuke had his book. All was right with the world, and before they knew it they had arrived at the airport.

It took them longer still to weave through the crowds of people and locate Minato. Itachi kept Sasuke close so as not to lose him, and Kushina did the same with Naruto. They managed to beat the crowd and locate a rather tall man in uniform with a crown of familiar blond hair. There was no doubt in Sasuke's mind who that was.

"Dad!" said Naruto, running up to him. Kushina ran as well, and managed to keep up with her son despite being in a skirt and heels. Seriously, she ran in heels. Sasuke didn't even know that was physically possible. Minato first scooped his noisy son into his arms, hugged him and kissed him and swung him around. He was gone for a long time, longer than Sasuke and Naruto had been friends, perhaps even longer than they'd known each other. Minato eventually let his son down to give his wife some long due attention, and somehow Sasuke thought Minato kissed Kushina more times in that moment than his own dad had ever kissed his own mom, well, ever. In fact, he didn't think that they kissed at all anymore, so this was fascinating to him, if a little weird. We felt like he shouldn't look. He really didn't feel like he belonged either, though Naruto begged to differ.

"Come on!" said Naruto, grabbing Sasuke and Itachi each by the wrist. "Come on! Come on!"

"These have to be Mikoto and Fugaku's boys," said Minato, looking sleepy with his cheek buried in Kushina's bright red hair like that. This was a man that wasn't afraid to show the world just what his family meant to him, and Itachi was sure he'd stand there all night with that woman pressed to his heart if he could. He managed to pry himself off of her just long enough to hold out his hand to the elder Uchiha, and he smiled. He had a way of making one feel welcome. "I'm Minato Namikaze, and you must be.. Itachi?"

"Yes," said Itachi, taking the other man's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Namikaze."

"Oh please, I'm not an old man. Just call me Minato."

"Mr. Minato, then." It was strange enough being on a first name basis with a teacher at his school, but now a man from the Navy. His parents didn't approve of their boys not properly addressing their elders, so this was the best compromise he and Sasuke had between the two conflicting points of view.

"Fugaku would raise you boys to have perfect manners. I bet you keep your elbows off the table and everything." He laughed, and gave the teenage boy's arm a pat. "You're all right, Itachi.

"And you must be Sasuke." He got down on one knee and ruffled Sasuke's hair, much like Itachi did to Naruto earlier. Despite the blush and the shy ache in his gut, Sasuke managed to wonder if Naruto was getting even a little jealous, but didn't bother to look at him and find out. He was still surprised by this person, who was so gentle and loving. For some reason it made him uncomfortable to know that an adult this nice actually existed. "Every time I get my son on the phone he has something to say about you. It's almost like you're part of the family."

"But I'm not, M-Mr. Nakimaze. How come your last name's Nakimaze and not Uzumaki like Naruto and Mrs. Kushina anyway? That's weird."

"Sasuke!" Itachi chastised, but Minato just laughed.

"Actually, my last name's pronounced Na-mi-ka-ze."

"N-Na-mi... za-ke."

"You can just call me Mr. Minato, or dad."

"Dad!" said Naruto in a petulant tone. Ah-ha! Naruto WAS jealous. Sasuke would only get in trouble if he called Minato "dad" in front of his parents anyway, so despite how awkward it was he could finally get Naruto back for all of the "bro" comments. It was perfect. OK, deep breath.

"OK... _dad._" Sasuke closed his eyes and snorted, then shot Naruto an evil grin. Now they were at an impasse, forever fated to annoy one another equally. Naruto just crossed his arms and huffed.

"Great! So dinner's on me tonight and you boys can tell me about yourselves and your mom and dad. They were friends with us in high school, you know."

"We know," said Sasuke, and Itachi looked about ready to have a fit. Sasuke's manners were deplorable today. Well, they were normally. He put up a good illusion of well-mannered behavior, and compared to other children he was an angel. For those who listened and cared, though, his mouth was going to get him into all kinds of trouble one of these days.

Plus, quite frankly, they were more interested in who Minato was. They already had a vague picture of their parents' history with one another. A certain fun-filled day of sledding a couple months back was disrupted by an unexpected reunion.

* * *

_6 January 2006, 10:58AM_

* * *

"You're early," said Sasuke, upon answering the door. Mrs. Kushina even had snow up to her knees, seeing as the plows hadn't been by yet. Both of them were red in the face from the cold, though they seemed to have adjusted to it.

"Sasuke, don't just stand there with the door open. Invite them in," said Mikoto, poking her head out of the kitchen. Her eyes were positively stricken upon sighting Kushina. It was an almost nasty look. Well, no, maybe not a nasty look, but it scared Sasuke anyway. It was really hard to surprise his mom. Actually, it was more like she didn't like surprises. He just hoped he wasn't in trouble for whatever reason.

"No. Way." Kushina's eyes were bulging like fish bowls. A split second later and she screamed. "Omigawd, ah! Mikoto!"

"Kushina. It's been awh-"

Kushina handed Naruto the other sled and ran into the house with her wet boots still on and everything, crushing Sasuke's mom into an enormous hug. He remembered him and Naruto looking at one another like what the crap was going on and why. They must have entered _The Twilight Zone_ or something, because there was no reason their moms should be this happy to see one another.

"AHHH!" Kushina shoved the startled woman in her arms away, then leaned her face forward so close that their noses were practically touching. "I just remembered! Itachi told me that Fugaku was his father." She shook the still and silent Mikoto a bit. "I like... I_ totally _thought he was joking. Mi, how are you? Tell me _everything_."

"I-I tho... the boys..." Mikoto could barely think or breathe with this crazy woman all over her.

"They can wait. Come on, I smell coffee."

The two women disappeared into the kitchen, and after twenty-five minutes of staring awkwardly at cracks in the floor Itachi offered to take the boys sledding until it was time for him to go to Kisame's house, because they weren't sledding otherwise. It only lasted an hour, and once they were back their moms were still talking and laughing over coffee, or rather it was Kushina that was doing most of the talking. Mikoto's look of surprise just kind of dipped into a look of peace, like she could sit there forever just listening to Kushina talk. It was obvious that they were friends at one point in their lives. Beautiful. Sasuke supposed he would be stuck hanging out with Naruto a lot more often.

He also supposed things could be worse.

**TBC**

**A/N:** _Nancy Drew_, _Cam Jansen_, and _The Boxcar Children_, are all children's mystery books by Carolyn Keene, David A. Adler, and Gertrude Chandler Warner respectively. _The Giver_ is by Lois Lowry. _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ is of course by the fabulous J. K. Rowling. Though vague, I did give a shout out to Alice, a character that belongs to Lewis Carroll, who is amazing. And so is Roald Dahl. What is a 24-year old doing fangirling children's lit anyway? Because I CAN, why else? OK, and _Back in Black_ is a kickass song by AC/DC, who I just assume would be one of Minato and Kushina's favorite bands, again, because I can. Anyway, thanks for reviewing/fav-ing/etc.! :D


	5. Even Heroes Make Mistakes

**Warning:** Triggers for abuse of a minor and anxiety. Read at own discretion and hugs in advance to all who do! Also, any opinions stated or implied in the fic itself past, present, and future do not necessarily reflect my own, nor what I think anyone else's should be. I'm not judging anyone. I'm just a bored loser who works 40 hours a week on grave shift and has a massive, garbled mess of ideas to share. So yeah. I'll shut up now. Enjoy!

* * *

Even Heroes Make Mistakes

* * *

"Just wait until your father comes home, mister. You are in SO much trouble."

"Why?! I don't even know what I did wrong. How come-"

"STOP SHOUTING!" said Mikoto, slamming on her break at the red light. In a painful snap Sasuke's little body jerked forward in his seat belt. This was scary. His mom rarely ever raised her voice at him. After all, he never gave her much reason to, except for today apparently. "Honestly, Sasuke. Three days suspension? I don't want to hear a single word out of you for the rest of the day. Understood?"

He didn't argue, though the protests continued to dance on the tip of his brain and tongue. This is why he was so afraid of getting into trouble. Half the time he didn't even understand why his parents would get mad at him, though today just took the cake. By some miracle he managed to keep himself from crying, for now. He had been wronged, rather than in the wrong, of that he was one hundred percent certain. Now, he thought he'd be able to turn over a new leaf in the third grade, not that he was particularly bad. Far from it, though having been sent to the principal's office once in second grade still weighed on him. It also bit him in the bottom, because the principal didn't hesitate to call his mom this time, and all hell broke loose before he had even had any time to process it.

And it was all because of one stupid book.

* * *

Two months ago Sasuke's summer was full of the typical things, you know, kicking his soccer ball around in the sprinklers and such. The only thing different was that Naruto came over occasionally and joined him. The Uchiha household had become a convenient place for Kushina and Minato to drop off their boy every now and then, and Naruto even found Sasuke's company more fun than Shikamaru's anyway, despite the lack of video games. Sasuke and Naruto had become good enough friends that he had even come over on Sasuke's birthday, which was always the same thing if it wasn't raining. They would have a backyard barbeque and a bon fire. Sasuke didn't like roasted marshmallows by themselves, but he did like s'mores, and Naruto loved them. It was a pretty fun day.

Naruto and his parents got Sasuke a pretty serious gift, one that his parents were none too pleased with. It was a Nintendo DS that came with a game called _Harvest Moon_. Sasuke thought that his parents would confiscate and sell it immediately, seeing as they both made no secret of their distaste for the damn things. Dad saw them as a waste of time and brainpower. Mom saw them as an invitation for weirdos over the Internet to harass her boys. They let Sasuke play his game on the condition that it stay in their room overnight and whenever he wasn't using it. Also, he wasn't allowed to have it on weekdays once school started.

Naturally, this was a hassle that made his very first game system not much fun, and he found that he couldn't really get into it. He played it just enough to show Naruto's parents that he was grateful, and talked about the game itself whenever he saw them, but mostly he just stuck to his usual activities.

It occurred to him at the beginning of summer that he had grown bored of the books that he owned. He did one marathon of the six _Harry Potter_ books in the span of five days, but otherwise everything else lacked a certain_ umph_. What he was in the mood for was to feel challenged, to give his mind a real workout, though whenever mom took him to the library she would only ever let him pick books out of the children's section. That was all well and good, as some of those books had great stories. The problem was that none of them were difficult for him to read, and that was where the boredom was coming from. He didn't understand why the harder books were too "grown up" for him anyway. It's not like anyone would explain these things to him.

Since mom wasn't willing to help, and dad wasn't much of a reader, Sasuke turned to the smartest person he knew during this lull.

"Excuse me, Itachi," said Sasuke, one week after his birthday. His brother had already given him a stuffed fox that he now slept with, but that was obviously a last minute type of thing, which was OK at the time. Now he wanted to talk business. Itachi and his friends Kisame, Deidara, and Nagato sat around the kitchen table engaged in a game of Magic. "Can you maybe find me some new books? Ones that are longer and harder, maybe?"

For some reason Deidara and Kisame found that hysterical and laughed. Sasuke just ignored them. They were buttheads anyhow.

"Not right this minute, Sasuke," said Itachi, his serious expression unchanged.

"No, I mean for my birthday. A late birthday present. I want them to be really, really hard. Like something you would read."

"It's pretty stupid to make birthday requests a week after your birthday," said Itachi, but since he had a soft spot for Sasuke and it was a really easy request to fulfill, he sighed to himself and turned his attention back toward his game. "Sure, I'll see what I can do."

The neighbors down the street had a yard sale two days later, and Itachi managed to procure copies of _1984_, _Lord of the Flies_, and _To Kill a Mockingbird_ all for a dollar. Sasuke complained that none of them were long enough, but Itachi shrugged and said that the biggest books they had were cookbooks, and to just trust him on this. Heck, even if Sasuke was just going to be pissy, Itachi couldn't complain. He only spent a dollar, after all. He spent roughly the same on the stupid fox at a different yard sale that apparently wasn't good enough, though it was his own damn fault for forgetting his brother's birthday until the day of, he supposed.

He would come to regret this later. It never did occur to him that Sasuke would bring any of those books to school with him, and that was where the trouble started.

* * *

"... suspended from school... sexual content... where did we go wrong..."

Those were only a number of words Sasuke picked up from his mother and father's emphatic discussion of Sasuke's suspension. Up until now he sat in his bedroom for hours as his mom told him to with some children's magazine in his lap, though he hadn't been reading. His mind was a soaring mess of what was to come, so he was practically catatonic from the moment his mom sent him to his room until sunset. He hadn't eaten a bite since lunch, and peanut butter and jelly did an unfortunate dance in his stomach. He felt cold, shaking, and spent most of his time in the same position with the magazine on his lap and his arms crossed. Every so often he noticed himself shivering, and felt like curling into a ball, hoping to disappear before his dad could come home.

He heard Itachi come home at some point, but he went right back out like he often did. It was really too bad. Itachi being there at least made him feel safe, and he could have probably defended Sasuke. It wouldn't be the first time, but it seemed today wasn't going to be one of those days. _"Not today, peanut. Maybe next time."_

Both Sasuke's breath and train of thought crashed and burned once he heard feet thumping up those steps. Surely they would realize that this was all just a misunderstanding this time, right? That the teacher was just mad that Sasuke could read well beyond a third grade reading level, and was just trying to get him in trouble because he was different from the others, right? Would his parents believe that? Would they care? He tried. He tried so hard not to think of his dad's angry face. That man was scary. So, so scary. Sasuke was scared of him, more scared of him than anything. His father worked hard, and when he came home he wasn't happy. He had the permanent frown lines to prove it. Sometimes he yelled. Sometimes he even broke things. Would he yell and break things now? Oh god, no...

"Sasuke, your father would like to speak to you," said Mikoto. He didn't even hear the door open over the sound of his own breathing. "Sasuke. Now!"

"N..." he squeaked, and though his legs were obedient his throat slammed shut, stomach tightened, and he could already feel the tears falling down his face before he could check himself. It was like marching into his own death. He wanted to run. His mind was screaming at him to run. It was tempting, but he wouldn't get far, and he'd only get into more trouble. He was just rational enough to understand that. He had to be brave. Sometimes things weren't actually as bad as they seemed.

The moment Sasuke saw that look on his father's face, though, it was obvious that things were exactly as bad as they seemed, and they were only going to get worse.

A resounding smack carried through the Uchiha household to the corners of each of the four bedrooms, and following it came the sound of Sasuke's wailing.

"Did I raise you to misbehave?"

Sasuke shook his head. He was terrified, clutching his burning cheek through his cries. He didn't dare say anything. He didn't want to get hit again.

"This isn't the first time you've gotten into trouble, I hear. You've used inappropriate language in class, gotten into fights, and now the school tells me you've brought a book to class that contains 'explicit sexual content.' Do you think you're a tough guy? That the rules don't apply to you? That people will respect you if you put yourself above the rules?"

_No, no, no! Where is he even getting this? _ Sasuke didn't understand. He understood perfectly well that he was in trouble, and when his father raised his hand in a threat to slap him once more, Sasuke backed into the hall away from the kitchen and fell backward, his breathing so labored one would think he had just run a marathon. His father told him to get up, but his knees would only let him up so far before he fell forward. A miracle that his heart didn't explode. He felt sick, cradling his waist and so fully immersed in forcing air in and out of his lungs that he didn't know quite when his stomach threw in the towel, but before he knew it he was drenched in sweat and tears and threw up all over himself and the kitchen doorway.

"I've got news for you, Sasuke," said his father in a low voice, unfazed by the small child in the throes of panic. He should be scared. He wouldn't learn otherwise. "People who don't play by the rules are worthless. A few misdeeds here and there may earn you a couple of cheap laughs, but at the end of the day it will have been for nothing. No one will actually accept you. Do you hear me?"

When Sasuke didn't answer, Fugaku grabbed him by the hair and shoved his cheek into the puddle of his own sick. "Do you hear me now?"

"Yes!" said Sasuke. He definitely heard him, but he still didn't understand, and now he had puke all over his face.

"Good. I never want to hear from your school again. You're grounded indefinitely, and when you're done cleaning up this mess you can go to your room and think about everything I've said. Do I make myself clear?"

Sasuke nodded, and then Fugaku let go of his head, stepped over the puddle and his son who was stewing in it, and left the room.

Once Sasuke heard a door slam he began to cry again, but this time it was different. This time, he was angry. He had regurgitated chocolate milk and sandwich drying in his hair, face, and shirt and no one really bothered to explain to him WHY, not in any way that he could understand. He filled the mop bucket with hot water and cleaning liquid and mopped the floor. He mopped away the puke, then he mopped away dust bunnies and sticky spots in corners all over the kitchen, though he wasn't sure why. Why did he work so hard to earn his parents' approval, when it was so obvious that they didn't even want to give it? He wasn't stupid just because he was a little kid. He knew what was up. They were too busy loving his perfect brother. Obviously one of them had to be defective, and it seemed Sasuke draw the short straw there. His father even admitted as much. To him, Sasuke was "worthless."

He emptied the soiled water outside. It was raining again, and he let the cool, merciful drops drench his hair and clothes, until his mother pulled him back inside. She reminded him that there was a perfectly good shower upstairs, and that boys who were grounded shouldn't be hanging out in the back doorway anyway. Sasuke said nothing. He just did as he was told, as usual.

* * *

Fugaku was not an open man, not to anyone. That was simply how he learned to be. After all, his father had a zero tolerance policy for whining and excuses, and was never shy about letting his hand do the talking. Back in his day that was acceptable. These days, if Sasuke was angry enough he could bring Child Protective Services into this and the authorities would take him and Itachi away faster than he could blink. Would he? Fugaku started down at his hand for a good minute. He knew from the moment he struck Sasuke that he'd done the wrong thing, but his body acted of its own accord, doing what it knew. He couldn't take it back, and would have to live with the consequences.

With any luck, though, Sasuke understood. Although Fugaku wasn't thrilled with how he himself had handled the situation, his intent behind it still stood. He was worried for his sons, yes, even Itachi, the genius. Their world was full of people, competitive and bustling. Anyone could get an education these days, and jobs were scarce, especially good ones. The world was evolving at an alarming rate. Things just weren't the same as they were back in Fugaku's day, where any jackass who acted up in school could just flip burgers for a living once it was over, and some were thrilled to do so. No. If his boys hoped to stand a chance, they would have to stand out, and build a solid foundation in education and learning. Itachi was doing fine so far. Sasuke seemed to be doing fine, even if he didn't stand out quite yet, except until he misbehaved. That wasn't an option, because Sasuke wouldn't even have a burger flipping job to turn to once school was over with the way the economy was. Then what? Were he and Mikoto just to let the boy stay at home and mooch off of them? That definitely wasn't going to happen. Sasuke was far too bright to live such an empty life.

If Sasuke had issues, Fugaku had to nip them in the bud now while he was still a child, regardless of whether or not he had to put his hands on the kid to get the message across. That was what being a parent was all about, right? He actually wasn't so sure, to be honest.

"Sasuke's washed up and gone to bed," said Mikoto, entering their bedroom. Fugaku lowered his hand, giving his wife a look that suggested nothing, though there was a jab of annoyance in her voice. She might not have been in the room, but she heard the entire thing that went down between Sasuke and his father. Her heart was screaming at her to go down there and put an end to it, to tell Fugaku that he'd gone too far. She knew he'd be harsh, but the sound of the slap really jolted her. Sasuke was her baby. She didn't want him hurt. At the same time, it was just so weird. He was normally such a good boy, but now he was misbehaving in school. It didn't make any sense. It was probably that damn Nintendo game. She would have a word with Minato about that.

"By the way, where do you get off laying your hands on my baby?"

Her words hit him like spit in the eye, and his usual frown managed to deepen.

"He's my son, too, and I needed to get the point across," he said, though there was a rather loud part of him that actually agreed with Mikoto. How could he, when he knew how wrong it was? Not just by law, but from experience. He didn't want to be the type of father who did that. He loved his son, but at the same time there was something they weren't doing right. Why couldn't it be as easy as it was with Itachi?

"You were much too hard on him. He's just a little boy! You could have really hurt him. And what if that leaves a mark? They can take our sons away." Tears began to prickle in her eyes, and she slammed her fists into his chest. "You fucking idiot! If-if they take away our boys, I swear to god, Fugaku-"

"No one is going to take away our boys, relax." He pushed the irate woman away from him and walked out of the room.

"Where do you think you're going?" she spat. Not that she really cared. There were some days where she couldn't stand being married to this man. This would top them all.

"Out." That was Fugaku's way of saying he was going to buy pack of cigarettes and chain smoke them in private, which he usually only did in times like these. He'd find out tomorrow whether or not he was too hard on Sasuke, but for the time being all he could stand to do was be away. Someday his family would appreciate everything he did for them, particularly the boys. That day couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

Fugaku and Mikoto headed to Sasuke's school the next afternoon once Itachi was home, and there was a definite chill in the air between them. They didn't look at one another, nor talk to one another the entire way there, content to stew in their own troubled minds. Mikoto was still upset with her husband, and he had no idea what to expect. She called out of work, and he left early for this. He supposed it would have been possible for one of them to go alone, but they both wanted to get to the bottom of this. Sasuke was their son. If he and Mikoto agreed on only one thing, oddly enough, it was that fixing whatever problems he had would have to be a joint effort. Besides, two people who almost never took time off could afford to just this once.

They found their way to Mrs. Gray's classroom, and the name fit the person to a T. She was an older woman, old enough that her gray roots were apparent against a clash of sad brown hair dye. Her teeth were decades ahead of Fugaku's in terms of caffeine and nicotine abuse, and she had a frown line impressive enough to match Fugaku's. Her classroom had all sorts of cheerful images of smiling worms telling you what a semicolon was, and every other thing was "Math is Fun" in some capacity. It was all very expected and generic. It was also a contrast to this teacher, who with one look Fugaku could tell that this woman spent at least thirty years doing the wrong job.

She had no adult sized chairs for Fugaku and Mikoto to pull up, so they remained standing as Mrs. Gray spoke.

"I like Sasuke," she began. "He does an excellent job in all of his work. His vocabulary is impressive. He is very polite, always raises his hand when he needs something. He's quiet, and doesn't seem to have any trouble getting along with the rest of his classmates. He's alert. He's neat. He's everything a teacher could ask for really."

"Then why are we here?" said Fugaku. He had wanted to skip the trivialities and bullshit altogether. She didn't need to placate them.

"I'm shocked by this," said Mrs. Gray, pulling out the copy of _1984_ that she had confiscated from Sasuke. "Your son claims that he can read this book, which is highly inappropriate for children his age. Not to mention it's impossible for his age, though he insisted that he could."

"It's not impossible," said Fugaku. "Sasuke is smarter than most kids his age."

"Yes, and it shows. But he shouldn't be reading this until high school."

"With all due respect, Mrs. Gray, Fugaku and I will be the judge of that," said Mikoto, holding out her hand. "Would you mind handing that to me?"

"What you're suggesting is that it's all right for your son to be reading smut and communist propaganda? Is that it?"

_Communist propaganda? What century is this woman from?_ Mikoto didn't say. Both parents frowned very deeply at that. Where did this woman get off telling them what was OK for their son and what wasn't?

"When you told us that Sasuke brought a book to school that contained 'explicit sexual content'," said Fugaku, clenching his fists at his sides. "You made it sound like he brought some sort of pornographic magazine to show off to the other boys.

"I should have known better. That's not like Sasuke. I knew something wasn't right. Who would have guessed that it was the teacher who was wasting my time?"

"Fugaku!" said Mikoto, shocked not only at the brazen nature of his words, but that she and her husband were actually on the same page for once.

"I know what you're thinking," he continued, leaning into Mrs. Gray's desk. Her jaw was in a firm lock and her nostrils flared, and she stared at him over her thin wire-framed bifocals like something one of her students had stepped in. But she kept her mouth shut, because clearly the only thing keeping this old bat in this chair was tenure, and even that had its limits. "You're thinking that I'm the type of man who thinks, no, who _knows_ that my son can do no wrong. That he could tear up all of his homework and it'd somehow be your fault. I'm sure you see at least one of those every year, and I'm sorry for all of your trouble, but let me tell you something."

He snatched _1984_ out her hands, shoved it into his wife's arms, then leaned closer into that teacher's face until she felt the need to back up. She continued to say nothing, but he could already hear the cracks in her resolve.

"You will not use my son as an example. He was suspended for reading something he's intelligent and mature enough to read? Are you kidding me? I left work three hours early for this?"

"It's not appropriate for his age," said Mrs. Gray, sounding like a broken record at this point.

"Again, that's not for you to judge!" said Mikoto. She knew what _1984_ was about. She read it when she was in high school. It's not the type of book she thought Sasuke was old enough to be reading, but it would have been enough to simply confiscate it. She didn't agree with the suspension, not just because it would go on his record, but because it was unjust. She knew Sasuke just wanted to be challenged. He wasn't going to march into congress and turn this into a communist nation. He wasn't reading this for sexual pleasure. For fucks sake, he was only nine! He was kid whose age was disproportionate to his intelligence, just like Itachi was! Did they live in a world where kids got punished for being too smart? Bullshit!

"I'm going to have a talk with principal Sarutobi about _your_ conduct, madam," said Fugaku, turning his back toward this ridiculous woman. Nothing she could possibly say would be of any value to him now. Mikoto huffed and followed him. She couldn't help but let worry beat her brow. She checked on Sasuke before leaving to tell him to mind his brother, and he didn't even respond. There was no bruising on his face, of that she was relieved; however, the look on his face worried her. He had his arms wrapped around his knees, and the gaze he shot her looked suspicious. Daring, even. It bothered her. She figured he'd be upset, but something about that look in his eyes was unsettling. Damage control at home was going to take a lot of work. She hoped Itachi would be doing something, anything, to cheer his little brother up.

* * *

"Well done, Sasuke," said Itachi, looking up from his laptop as Sasuke showed off his first successful attempt at making a paper crane. The two brothers decided to camp out in the living room while their parents went off to the school. They didn't say Sasuke wasn't allowed to leave his bedroom, and considering that the kid basically sat in there all day sniffling and refusing to eat, Itachi insisted that he come out for awhile and quit moping. He didn't know the specifics of what went on, because Sasuke wouldn't tell him, and if Sasuke didn't want to tell him then he wasn't going to push the issue. Not today, anyway.

"So my wish will come true if I make nine hundred and ninety-nine more of these? Sounds fishy."

"It's a self-fulfilling prophecy is what it is," said Itachi, who didn't believe in superstitions at all, unlike certain members of their family. The brothers had some Japanese descent from their mom's side, but they themselves didn't follow any of the customs, except for not wearing shoes in the house, but that was a sanitary issue more than anything. The Uchiha family did love its hygiene, after all. Mikoto was born in California, which was where most of her family was. Her father was half-Japanese, her mother a quarter Mexican, and her side of the family was a lot more interesting and vibrant than their father's, and sadly distant. They lived all the way on the other side of the country.

On one rare visit to Los Angeles one of his and Sasuke's Japanese cousins told them about the whole paper crane thing, and ever since Sasuke would ask "When are you gonna teach me how to make paper cranes?" In fact, that was exactly what he asked just after refusing to tell Itachi what was wrong.

Itachi told him that he would look it up on Youtube, and he practiced making a few by himself to make sure that he had the basic idea. They didn't have any square paper, so Sasuke had to cut the excess off of some printer paper to make them square. The first few came out pretty bad, not at all resembling Itachi's example, but this one that Sasuke showed him looked more or less the way it should.

"What do you mean by that?" Sasuke had encountered the term 'self-fulfilling prophecy' once or twice before. What he didn't know was what exactly it meant.

"In the time it takes you to fold all of those cranes, you will have probably already put some sort of plan into motion to make your wish come true. That is, if you want what you wish for badly enough."

"I don't get it," said Sasuke.

"What is your wish, Sasuke? Maybe I can explain what I mean in terms of your wish."

"It's embarrassing." Sasuke blushed and looked away. "Only if you can keep a secret."

"Of course I can," said Itachi, pushing his fingers into Sasuke's forehead. The kid spent entirely too much of his day with his eyes pointed down. It was rather depressing, especially since it wasn't just him being a brat. Sasuke was loud when he was being a brat. Right now he was quiet, too quiet.

"I'm gonna wish that I was different somehow. That whatever it is about me that mom and dad hates goes away, so that they'll stop hating me."

"Sasuke, that's..." Itachi didn't often find himself at a loss for words. He seemed to approach most anything with a cold, impartial point of view. He was always on the outside looking in, and where he could empathize and didn't really make it a point to judge others on how they felt, he found that he just didn't fret over things. At least, not where he could be seen, and even then not very often. He just wasn't a worrier. He didn't panic. He didn't cry. He didn't worry. Or if he did, he was so good at not letting it show he could even fool himself most of the time. So imagine how surprised he was to feel his chest tighten and freeze in that moment, and really see just how hurt Sasuke was. Sasuke was different. He did worry. He did cry. He was an anxious and insecure little boy, and right now he seemed to have it in his head that their parents hated him.

What exactly was going on?

"Sasuke, what happened last night?"

Before Sasuke could say anything, they heard their parents pull into the driveway. The look on Sasuke's face only made Itachi more sick. Pure terror. His eyes bulged, his breath rasped, and he made a b-line for the stairs and slammed his bedroom door behind him. No, something definitely wasn't right, and he was going to get to the bottom of this, so help him.

"Sasuke!" Mikoto called out. It was the same voice she used to call him downstairs for dinner. It made the hair stand up on the back of Itachi's neck. She told him that Sasuke had gotten in trouble at school, but not how. She told him that Sasuke was being punished, but not how. She omitted details. All parents did that, but that didn't mean Itachi had to be OK with it, especially not now, when Sasuke was so depressed and confused that he felt the need to turn to some stupid paper birds to make everything all right, as opposed to his own family. What the _hell_ happened?

"Where's Sasuke?" said Fugaku, and Itachi closed his laptop and stood up. Itachi walked by his father, resisting the strong urge to bump his shoulder against the old man's. He was almost as tall as Fugaku now, and this man didn't scare him at all. Itachi saw through the act years ago, and went along with it only because it was easier to get whatever he wanted that way. He rebelled in only the most subtle ways, ways that would go over their heads completely, because he believed that he was already smarter than they were. Most teenagers did, but in Itachi's case it was entirely possible. He played his parents like fiddles, but he didn't have to, and if they were intentionally hurting Sasuke in any way he would find out and put an end to it.

"He's in his room. I think he wants to be alone."

"Go get him. We need to talk."

Itachi stopped halfway up the stairs and looked down at his father, not as though he were looking at someone who raised him into a fine young man, but as someone as sophisticated as a bully. This look of pure disgust was not lost on Fugaku, and he guessed that perhaps Sasuke had told Itachi all about what had happened. He'd have to make sure Sasuke didn't tell anyone else, after he apologized, in any case.

"Don't you think you've talked to him enough?" _He's already terrified of you. What more could you possibly want?_

"There's been a mistake, no." Fugaku shook his head and looked down at his hand. Itachi's knuckles turned white against the rail. So that's how it was. "I made a mistake."

Itachi did not relax his grip against the rail. He was so angry now that he couldn't see straight, and if he didn't keep his distance he might not be able to control himself; however, the full meaning behind his father's words did not escape him. He was admitting that he, specifically, made a mistake. Perhaps what he meant to do was apologize to Sasuke, though Itachi didn't think an apology would cut it. Itachi didn't, but Sasuke might. Sasuke cared what their father thought of him, perhaps even a little too much. It was sad. It pissed Itachi off so much that his family, his father specifically, was so irresponsible in some ways. Even so, if what Fugaku intended to do was apologize, it might just be what Sasuke needed to snap out of it, even if Itachi thought that it was crap.

"I see," said Itachi, in a voice he could barely control. It was a wonder where he had gotten all of this control. "He's in his room. If what you intend is to make anymore 'mistakes,' though, I'm going to stop you no matter what it takes."

"Itachi!" said Fugaku, watching his Itachi retreat into the upstairs hallway. He had just gotten a taste of what his oldest son really thought of him, and it was gross.

* * *

Itachi couldn't have made his message any clearer. First his wife, and now his sons seemed to think that Fugaku was some sort of monster now. At the time, he thought he was only doing what any parent in his situation would do. His intentions were nothing but good, and he wanted both Sasuke and Itachi to have what was best. He couldn't quite figure out where he went wrong until he walked into Sasuke's room, and the boy looked up at him like he was holding a loaded gun. Mikoto had explained everything to Sasuke beforehand, and left the room once Fugaku came in. Her talk with Sasuke did little to ease the boy's fear.

Sasuke backed into the head of his bed and wrapped a pillow around his chest, because Fugaku thought that it was OK to just come in and sit on his bed. Well, OK, he was his dad, so he supposed it was OK. But was he really his dad? Because Naruto's dad wasn't mean or scary at all. So why is it that Fugaku scared Sasuke so much? Was he just a bad guy? Was Sasuke's dad the bad guy? If he was, why did Sasuke care if this man loved him? What good was a bad guy's love anyway?

"Why didn't you just listen to me?" said Sasuke, his lips barely above his pillow. Normally Fugaku wouldn't have tolerated such muttering, but he wasn't exactly in any position to assert right from wrong. He lost that the moment he lost his temper and slapped his son. What killed him most was that he did it for "no reason," of which Mikoto reminded him no less than five times on the way home. Just because he managed to reverse the punishment set unfairly on Sasuke after a long talk with principal Sarutobi didn't mean that she was satisfied. Neither was he.

"I'm sorry," said Fugaku. He reached out. Physical contact was not his forte, but he wanted Sasuke to feel how sorry he was somehow. What he got was his youngest son burying himself deeper into his pillow, trying to back away from this man who hurt him so badly. He didn't just hit him. He disregarded him completely. Now it seemed Sasuke would give him the same treatment, perhaps rightfully so. They were still a little raw over all of this.

"No you're not. You're just saying that so that I'll stop crying and you don't have to put up with it."

He didn't know where to even begin with that, where Sasuke would get such an idea. That line of thinking was much too pessimistic for a child. Was that his doing? What had Fugaku missed in all of this time? He couldn't comprehend the way Sasuke was, the way his little mind worked. He was too much like his mother, in that he was sensitive, argumentative, and liked to read enough damned books that no library in the world had enough to satisfy that wild imagination of his. Unfortunately, that passion, and that imagination would get him into trouble if he wasn't careful. He already got an unfortunate taste of what being different meant for the road ahead. And Fugaku, unwittingly, had become part of Sasuke's problem, not part of his success as he had wished. What's worse, now that the damage was done, it was probably too late to change that.

There was nothing he could say now to make it better, so the words that left his mouth were more for his own ears than for Sasuke's.

"I love you, Sasuke, and I am sorry."

And with that he left the room. If what Sasuke wanted now was to be alone, that is, not in his father's presence, then Fugaku would grant him that, no matter how painful it was. Even so, there was no way he was going to let the kid just sit in there by himself for yet another night feeling miserable, when he had nothing to be miserable about. Rather, nothing he ought to be miserable about. There had to be something that he could do.

Once he reached the kitchen he heard a ring, so he picked up the phone. A familiar, bubbly voice filled his ears like it once had many, many years ago. It was comforting in a way, not that he was the one who deserved comfort. What he deserved was all of the pain Sasuke had been in for the past twenty-fours hours, plus interest.

"Hello, Kushina. Did Naruto manage to grab all of Sasuke's homework for him?"

It seemed that he did indeed get all of the homework and necessary materials as they had discussed the night before, hence the phone call.

"I'm glad. I know this is a lot to ask on a school night, but would it be possible to have Naruto over for even just an hour? I think Sasuke needs the company, and he's already made it clear that he doesn't want mine."

There was silence for a couple of crawling moments, but no argument from Kushina. She even had the decency to keep any thoughts she had regarding Fugaku's present mood to herself, and stated that they would be over in twenty minutes. He wasn't a man who expressed himself well, but there was no one on this earth who could mistake the ache in his words. If this was all that he could do for Sasuke then so be it. All he could do now was hope that it would help, even just a little bit.

**TBC**

**A/N:** _1984_, _Lord of the Flies_, and _To Kill a Mockingbird_ are by George Orwell, William Golding, and Harper Lee respectively, and are all excellent reads, in my opinion anyway.


	6. Friends

Friends

* * *

Sasuke didn't move. He was perfectly content to sit there clutching that pillow like a lifeline. Itachi stopped by twice. The first time he asked Sasuke if he was all right, to which the younger Uchiha croaked a simple "leave me alone." In response, Itachi told him to stop by his room anytime throughout the night if he needed him, and Sasuke said nothing. He just hugged his pillow tighter and planted his face back into it, and then his door clicked shut. It was morose sound. Every sound was like that today, if not scary.

Itachi stopped by what felt like an hour later, though it was actually only ten minutes, to announce that dinner was going to be late, and mom would bring it up to him once it was ready. Sasuke said nothing. The only time she had ever let the boys eat dinner in their rooms was when they were sick, otherwise she preferred everyone to have dinner at the table, like many of those daytime television shows would tell people to do. Mom mostly just asked them about school, which was the same old boring stuff. Got a 100 on this, gold star on that, A's-A's-A's, blah, blah, blah. Then they went their separate ways. His stomach growled. Earlier mom heated up leftover chicken soup and put that on a tray with an apple. Sasuke only picked at it. He knew it was bad to waste food technically, but he decided that it was mom's fault. He told her he wasn't hungry.

He was hungry now, of that he couldn't argue. That didn't change the fact that he didn't want to eat. If he went long enough without eating then he would die, and wouldn't that just stick it to all of them? The only one who might miss him was Itachi, but for the most part even Itachi had better things to do than waste time with a sniveling little snot-nosed crybaby, and he'd get over being sad eventually.

It briefly occurred to Sasuke that Naruto might miss him. Unlike Itachi, Naruto didn't have a whole lot of friends. Most people didn't like him because he was annoying and kind of a loser. That didn't matter to Sasuke, though, because he was even more of a loser. A few people took to calling Sasuke a vampire and a fag, and whatever other insult was popular at the time these days. He just ignored them. If he got into another fight then his dad would hurt him a lot worse than they could. He was certain of that now more than ever. Frankly, this was why Sasuke thought that maybe he should just die. As far as he could tell, the only two people in the world who would miss him were Itachi and Naruto, and even Itachi he wasn't entirely sure about. He at least liked to believe that Itachi would have missed him. He loved his brother.

He didn't love Naruto, but he could if they were brothers. Sasuke closed his eyes and tried to picture, for one absurd moment, what it would have been like to be an Uzumaki, or Namikaze, as it were. Could he be both? Impossible. Even Naruto was just "Uzumaki" after all. It still confused him as to why Naruto's parents had different last names. Was that even allowed? He supposed that it had to be. He knew of divorced people with different last names, but not married ones. It seemed better for married people to have the same last name, because it was less confusing. His parents had the same last name, after all. That's what made them the Uchiha family.

Not that it really mattered. Being an Uchiha didn't mean that he was loved. He doubted Minato would ever hit him no matter how much trouble he got in. Kushina might, but it wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't knock him down and shove his face in throw up, of that he was fairly certain. He figured she might thwap him on the head, or swat him on the bottom, but only if he was really, really bad, like Naruto sometimes was. She wouldn't do it for no reason! Damn it, that was what hurt the most, that they didn't listen. Sasuke had been right, and they didn't listen.

They just punished him for no reason, and he couldn't stop crying about it. Why couldn't he stop? It was over, right? Over! Mom apologized. Even dad apologized, though he probably didn't mean it. Besides, one would think a body's capacity for tears could only be run so dry, but Sasuke seemed to have an endless supply of them. Figures, only a bonafide crybaby would have an endless supply. Was it possible that he'd just shrivel like a prune and die from water loss? He would at this rate, and he didn't really mind.

He really was pathetic. Pathetic.

_Worthless._

"Ahhhh!" Sasuke grabbed his head and yanked at his hair in an effort to turn off his brain. Just shut that stupid thing up. He inhaled deeply, and let out a long sigh. He did it again and again until he had calmed down. _Deep breaths, Sasuke_, he could practically hear his mother telling him, then he stopped the deep breaths because he was still mad at her. He didn't need her advice to make himself feel better. He didn't need her at all. He'd just wipe away his tears and not cry anymore, because crying was stupid, simple as that.

He managed rub away every tear streak and blow his nose raw for the umpteenth time that day before there was yet another knock on the door. He frowned. It was probably just Itachi checking on him again. For fucks sake, he wasn't a baby!

"Who's there?" said Sasuke, only to be polite.

"It's me, duckbutt," said Naruto, who sprinted into the room and dived upon Sasuke's bed before he was even given permission to enter. The backpack he was wearing looked stuffed, which was weird since they were home from school, unless he brought Sasuke all of his homework assignments. That would make sense. It also made sense as to why Naruto was there in the first place. Just because Sasuke was no longer grounded didn't mean he got to have company on a school night, assuming he was going back to school in the morning, that is. Apparently he was unpunished, which implied unsuspended, though he hadn't bothered to ask, and frankly didn't care.

Through stinging eyes, Sasuke glared down at Naruto's grinning face plastered to his navy blue comforter. "Hiya buddy."

"Mama doesn't allow shoes on in the house," said Sasuke, pointing his finger at Naruto's dirty sneakers. Not that he cared. He just didn't want to be looked at right now. It had to be obvious that he was crying. His face was still boiling and kind of sticky. Gross.

"Oops." He kicked them off one by one without even untying the laces. He would. "So anyways, I was shocked. I heard that you got suspended from school for no reason. How the hell does that even happen?"

"It can if you have the worst luck ever." Sasuke sighed. Though small, he had yet another wave of tears prickling somewhere deep within his throat. That particular spot inside of him was like old dog on its last legs. His back was in pain from all of the sobbing and slouching he'd done since yesterday. It was so repetitive, like having nausea, or the hiccups. Ugh, he hated the hiccups so much.

"Obviously it can, because it did." Naruto crossed his legs and perched his arms straight upon them. "Come on. Tell me everything! I've been thinking about it all day."

"I don't want to talk about it," said Sasuke, even though he really kind of did. He just didn't think that he should. He didn't want to get into anymore trouble, even though it seemed like trouble found him the more he tried to avoid it. Moreso, if he did start talking about it he would cry for the eleventy billionth time, and that was just not OK. He was almost out of tissues. His nose was all itchy.

"Come on, pleeease? At least give me a hint, or skip the parts you don't want to talk about."

"I don't want to talk about any of it, OK? I'm sick of it."

"Tch, man." Naruto crossed his arms and growled, mostly to himself. "Maaaan."

There was a long stretch of silence, punctuated only by occasional sighs from Naruto. Neither boy looked at the other, at least not in the eye. Sasuke could feel Naruto look up at him once or twice, but it didn't really matter. He didn't want to talk about it, so he wasn't going to. It was his right to keep the whole thing a secret if he wanted to. Besides, he hadn't even told Itachi what had happened, but Itachi was so smart that he probably already knew. He was like that. Even so, Sasuke decided, his lips were sealed.

* * *

Five long minutes dragged by. Naruto had a lot to say, but no desire for it to devolve into a shouting match, even if those could be fun every so often. Even so, he took a chance, because _something_ had to be said. Silence was just creepy.

"You know what else I thought about a lot?" said Naruto, looking up once more, though Sasuke kept his gaze averted. He liked to pretend that, as long as he wasn't looking at Naruto, the other boy couldn't see that he had been crying earlier. Again. Oye. Suddenly Sasuke felt tired, or maybe he'd been tired the whole time. It wasn't like he slept well. He slept a lot, but not well.

Sasuke graced Naruto's question with a "mnn," though he knew his friend well enough to know he'd just answer the question regardless. Sasuke didn't really mind how much talking Naruto did. He just didn't want to do any of it.

"Remember last year when we had to go to the principal's office and you freaked out?"

"Yeah," said Sasuke bitterly. "That's when people started making fun of me. Thanks a lot."

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? Come on!

"But anyways, I was worried about you today, OK! I thought that you might get all upset again. It's kind of scary to think about it."

"Why's it scary? It's just me being a crybaby, right?"

"No." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I thought about it a whole lot for awhile. Like, yeah, I guess going to the principal's can be kind of scary, but you lost it. You were beyond that, I think. Like, I don't really know if there's a word for it, but you just seemed so, I dunno. Sick, maybe? Like maybe you needed to be on some kind of medication?"

Sasuke looked stunned for a moment, considering. He couldn't quite figure out how to respond to that, or even if he wanted to respond. After chewing on it for a bit, he had very little to offer in return.

"I hate medicine," was all Sasuke had to say.

"I do, too," said Naruto with no disappointment. Sasuke was acting a little more like himself now. "It all tastes like crap."

"More like shit. With flies."

Naruto laughed, and hoped maybe that his laughter would spread. After all, he'd heard once that laughter was the very best medicine, and quite frankly it was the only one he knew of that didn't taste like crap, or shit. He also couldn't think of a better cure for excess sadness. It made such perfect sense.

In fact, it made so much sense... that Sasuke didn't even crack a smile, so Naruto eventually fizzled out into his previous state of groaning. So it was back to silence now. Of course Sasuke would hold stubbornly to feeling bad. He did that sometimes, which was probably the one thing Naruto didn't like about his friend. Sometimes Naruto got sad, angry, or hurt and cried about it, but he didn't really hang onto that. It seemed like a stupid waste of time. Sasuke, on the other had, sometimes seemed to personify misery. He was doing a perfectly good job of that right now, in fact.

At his best he was a smart-mouth and kind of a know-it-all, but he was fun. He was funny, and he liked to do a lot of stuff. He was better at most competitive things than Naruto, which was often really annoying. He was kind of a sore loser whenever he did lose, which wasn't often enough. Naruto still liked him, though. With Sasuke around he wasn't lonely at school. There was someone who was finally his. His friend. Sasuke wasn't just some arbitrary group that Naruto tagged along with, and he wasn't Shikamaru who was kind of just foisted upon him by his mom. Plus, Sasuke had the best brother ever, and Naruto didn't care if Sasuke didn't like it, Itachi was his bro, too, damn it. They both were, and even if it seemed weird and kind of went without saying, Naruto loved them.

Naruto wasn't going to make Sasuke talk about it, probably because he'd cry about it. Sasuke hated to cry more than anything, and Naruto could tell as soon as he saw him that he'd been crying not too long ago, and a lot. His face was so red he looked like a tomato, and his eyes were red, too. He wouldn't look at Naruto at all if he could help it, and he was slouching. His nose was running a bit. So much incriminating evidence.

It confirmed one of Naruto's main concerns. Of course he was most curious as to why Sasuke got suspended in the first place. They weren't in the same class this year, so he had only the half-assed rumor mill to go by. Shikamaru was in Sasuke's class and said something about a "dirty book." If a book was involved then it might be Sasuke, though a "dirty book" such as the ones Uncle Jiraiya owned didn't seem like something Sasuke would have. He'd make Sasuke tell him eventually. At least the dirty book part. He could only imagine how badly Sasuke'd been punished at home, and somehow Naruto felt like it was that part Sasuke actually didn't want to talk about.

"How come you're here? Is it just to give me my homework?"

"Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that. Let's see-" Naruto dug around in his pack. "-Aww, my cupcake got smooshed." He pulled out a flattened glob of cake and cream confined to flimsy plastic, and Sasuke pointed at the garbage that was about ninety percent tissues. This also didn't go without notice on Naruto's part, but he turned away from it and resumed digging around in his pack. "Ah. Here's some stupid math, and some stupid cursive exercises, and I guess you're supposed to read up to chapter five in this fox stone book. Our class has to read a different book right now, and it's really boring so far. I don't know how you can read all these thick books, and five whole chapters... "

Sasuke gave _Stone Fox_ a very impartial look. Chapter 5? He'd have the whole damn thing read in an hour tops. Great to know that third grade was off to a fabulous start in more ways than one.

"Oh yeah, and your mom said that you can have this back." Naruto pulled _1984 _out of his pack and handed it to Sasuke. Sasuke grabbed it and chucked it across the room upon realizing what it was, and it laid sprawled in an unkempt heap upon Sasuke's otherwise spotless floor. Naruto's brows drew into a V and he pushed Sasuke's arm. "Hey, what the hell? Why'd you do that?"

"Shut up," said Sasuke.

"Oh, I get it. Is that the dirty b-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Yup, that's definitely the dirty book."

The noise that erupted from Sasuke's throat was something of a choked snarl, and the anger on his face only rose as Naruto swung his legs over the side of the bed with every intention of investigating the offensive book. Sasuke took two fistfuls of Naruto's t-shirt and used all of his strength and weight to yank the other boy back onto the bed. The two of them wrestled, Naruto mostly trying to wriggle himself out of a full nelson hold Sasuke had on him. For good measure, Sasuke managed to get his legs around Naruto's waist, too, and the two rolled and thrashed about on the bed until they forgot what they were fighting about, and melted into an unkempt pile of sweating, panting limbs.

Naruto was the the first to recover, rolling himself up above Sasuke with each arm on either side of him. He then grinned wickedly, sat back on his knees between Sasuke's, and began ticking his friend's sides. Sasuke squirmed and pounded his fists against Naruto's shoulders, trying as hard as he could to force back every laugh and failing miserably. The tears in his eyes were now of mirth, albeit forced, and soon Naruto had to stop because he himself was laughing too hard at all the bizarre contortions of Sasuke's face. Sasuke slid himself out from under Naruto and rubbed his eyes. Though not quite conscious of it he was smiling by the time Naruto wound down, and said with an accidental snort, "I hate it when Itachi does that."

"I know, because he told me," said Naruto, clutching his happily tightened stomach. "He says you hate this, too."

Sasuke flinched when he felt Naruto's lips press against his cheek, and his belly knotted in such a way that promised to stay knotted far longer than it should. While not necessarily an unpleasant feeling, the sensation of saliva suddenly on his cheek snapped his attention away from it.

"Eww!" he said, wiping it away with his sleeve, which was already prickly from many dried tears and rogue snot. He need look no further than these sleeves for the perfect revenge against his brother for this. "Do you know how many germs are in peoples mouths, stupid? It's gross. I read about it in a book."

"What haven't you read about in a book, doofus?"

"Shut up. And besides, I don't think boys can do that if they're not related."

"Yah-huh." That confidence in Naruto's eyes added a lead weight to Sasuke's voice. "I just did."

"W-well, you always break the rules, so..." Sasuke had nothing. In terms of emotion he was thoroughly spent and was shutting down. It was making him so stupid he found that he could no longer be glib with Naruto of all people. It also randomly occurred to him that he was still hungry. Naruto wouldn't be staying for dinner, would he?

"Naruto, it's time to go," said Kushina, poking her head into Sasuke's room. Guess that answers that question. "Hello, Sasuke sweetie."

"Hello, Mrs. Kushina," Sasuke responded in a small voice. It embarrassed him whenever she called him "sweetie," but he no longer commented on it. The overt affection of Naruto's family was just something that he had to deal with.

"Aww, yeah OK. Lemme just get my shoes."

Kushina told him he had five minutes. Tch, moms and their five minutes. Good thing it only took five seconds for Naruto to get his shoes on, since he just slid his feet back into his sneakers.

"Mama yells at me if I don't put my shoes on without untying the laces first, and especially if I wear them in the house," said Sasuke.

"Does your mom yell at you a lot?"

"No. Well-" Technically no, but the fact that she did at all these days haunted him. Sasuke was like a piece of moulding clay being kneaded, shaped, smoothed, and baked to the liking of his parents. He was a masterpiece with a crack in it, he supposed. That crack was the never ending tale of him being not quite good enough, not quite Itachi, not quite... worth it.

Naruto noticed how the light seemed to dim rapidly in Sasuke's eyes. He didn't like it, and probably should have kept that question to himself. Shit, now what?

"N-never mind. Say, have I ever told you that you're my best friend?"

That seemed to snap him out of it a little bit. Sasuke's deep dark eyes were on Naruto now, focusing outward rather than inward, trying to figure out if he had only imagined those words.

"What?"

"I said, you're my best friend, Sasuke."

"Oh."

Sasuke could feel his chest spring to life in loud, drumming heart beats that vibrated through his skin. He liked this feeling. It was the most alive he had felt all day, perhaps ever. The best part was that he didn't have to reach too far inside or mull over his response to that. He knew it was true just as he had said it.

"You're my best friend, too."

Naruto walked over by Sasuke's dresser, giving _1984_ a kick along the way for all the grief it had supposedly caused, and grabbed that absurd stuffed fox Itachi had given Sasuke for his birthday up off of the dresser. He then walked back in front of Sasuke and handed him the fox.

"If you feel sad again, you pretend that this is me and... I dunno. I forgot what I was gonna say. Damn it."

"OK," said Sasuke, laying the fox flat on its stomach. Then he sat on it. "There, it's you."

"If you fart I'll bite your butt."

"Naruto!" Kushina called from the bottom of the stairs. Naruto tossed his pack back on and ran toward the door.

"See ya!" he said, flashing Sasuke one final toothy grin.

"Bye," said Sasuke, with one flattened fox growing warm beneath him. He wasn't bogged down by thought, nor overwhelmed with conflicting emotion. For the moment he was in a gentle haze of calm and contentment. His heart had slowed, but he could still feel it. His face was warm and it was tight, this time around the cheeks.

He was smiling, and this time he knew it.

**End Part One**

**A/N:** _Stone Fox_ is a book by John Reynolds Gardiner. It was a book I had to read in third grade, actually, and I remember loving it.


	7. Girlfriends and General Pubescence

**PART TWO**

An Issue of Boyfriends and Girlfriends

* * *

**Warnings:** Triggers for brief mentions of teen suicide. This chapter also contains _extremely_ foul language at some points.

* * *

"I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." Jeff Kinney, _Diary of a Wimpy Kid _

"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next." Ursula K. Le Guin, _The Left Hand of Darkness_

* * *

Girlfriends and General Pubescence

* * *

Farwell Middle School was tucked away from most meaningful places in Farwell Connecticut, not that there were any meaningful places anyway. This part of town was a land of infinite trees, seemingly infinite Dunkin Donuts drive thrus, narrow two-way roads congested by a population of poor parallel parkers, and houses in varying states of decay. There was one historical district near Broad Street whose tourists usually consisted of bored school children who didn't give a crap about abandoned textile mills and houses that once belonged to people only hardcore history buffs would care about. Most kids would have much preferred to visit their pick of decrepid old buildings just to see if those ghost hunters on television were actually on to something, or just freaking out for ratings. Because it was school, though, they were quite literally incapable of doing anything cool, and who could blame them? Cool was usually dangerous, and with danger came parents with their lawyer on speed dial, not to mention the press.

Even so, Farwell had a certain beauty to it. The soothing rustle of trees turning red and gold that hugged the perimeter of FMS appealed to Sakura. She was an outdoors girl, even if all she did outside these days was homework really, which was only about thirty percent homework, seventy percent boy watching. One boy in particular. She sat outside of the wide green with her back pressed against a large tree like she often did on nice days and plowed through the entirety of her geometry homework with practiced ease. Then she pulled out her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, dog-eared, frayed, and worn with love, and glanced over it every so often. After all, her adolescent mind, though bright, entreated itself to a delightful, frivolous fantasy. Each "Darcy" to her now translated as "Sasuke." Sasuke, Sasuke, Mr. Sasuke.

He was currently engaged in tossing a football back and forth with a guy she didn't know, and she could watch for hours. He was tough, yet graceful. She likened the way he moved to dancing, and then she wondered if he danced. In her mind's eye he did.

He was a whole head taller than she was now, which wasn't uncommon. Sakura felt small among giants, particularly among girls whose breasts had finally developed. She knew she was lacking in that department, for now, as Ino would often remind her. The two of them had started fighting because both of them liked Sasuke. It was silly really. Ino thought Sasuke was into athletic girls, so she'd taken to running and cheer leading as her hobbies, probably in hopes that Sasuke would pay attention, which wasn't possible. Sure, Sasuke himself was athletic. Sakura had come to his basketball games during the winter, and one soccer game during the spring, but what Ino didn't get was that he wasn't just some jock just because he played sports.

Sakura had been paying closer attention, and knew for a fact that what Sasuke really needed was a girl who was smart just like he was, and of course moderately good-looking. Sakura took to crash dieting to maintain her slim figure and was growing out her hair, even if it was tough to keep up. She held it back in a ponytail a lot.

She wasn't interested in exercises outside of hiking and swimming, and the changing weather didn't really lend itself well to either of those activities, so sitting and reading was the next best thing. Well, when she wasn't distracted, anyway.

She couldn't help but be. Sasuke was just so handsome. He was always good-looking, and unlike most boys puberty did him nothing but favors. His shoulders were wider, his cheeks were slimmer, his calves were like rocks covered in fine black hair. If he had even one pimple he hid it well. If he shaved then he did so diligently and carefully, because she saw neither a five o'clock shadow, nor any razor bumps. He had the most perfect full, pink lips, slim nose, dark and mysterious eyes with pretty eyelashes. Sometimes she thought he looked rather sad, though, like maybe someone in his family had passed away. If he were the sensitive type, and she liked to imagine that he was, she hoped that maybe someday she could embrace and kiss all the sadness away. If he were somehow wounded she wanted to heal him, then protect him from anymore hurt, because that was what love was all about.

And make no mistake, she was in love, and that damn Ino would never come between them.

* * *

_Dear Sasuke, _

_I'll just be blunt. I like you, and I think that we should go out. Could you please meet me by the stop sign after school? Alone?_ "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." _I'll be waiting. _

_Your Secret Admirer _

There was nothing secret about this admirer, Sasuke surmised. There was only one girl that he knew who could quote Jane Austen, let alone knew what a Jane Austen was. There was also only one girl who sent him the occasional love letter that wasn't littered with grammatical atrocities, impressively poor spelling, and netspeak. Unfortunately, this was one of two girls that couldn't, for the life of her, take a goddamn hint. This had been going on since they began attending FMS last year, and it was annoying. It wasn't often that she wrote him love letters, but when she did it made his skin prickle. He wasn't even remotely interested.

Sasuke shredded the paper into confetti and threw it in the trash. Fuckin' Sakura. Granted, if it were a choice between her and Ino he supposed Sakura was the less annoying of the two. After all, she didn't yell at him for ignoring her advances the way Ino did, and... that was it, really.

He'd come into school tomorrow, and maybe she'd look like a kicked puppy if he happened to pass her in the halls, but that was her problem. He supposed he could tell her outright that he wasn't interested, but he didn't feel like he owed her an explanation, and that his not showing up ought to say it all. She wasn't completely stupid. She should take the hint.

Except this had been going on for over a fucking year now. Oh well. Al Gore and his _Inconvenient Truth_ be damned. If she killed trees for pointless love letters then it wasn't Sasuke's problem. If the world burnt to a crisp, flooded, or froze over it'd totally be Sakura's fault.

The sad thing was that this wasn't even close to being the suckiest part of his day. Classes were the same shit, of course. He got an A on his two page essay of... whatever. He didn't even care. The so called "highest math class" was just accelerated arithmetic with fractions and decimals, and some geometry, which apparently was a big fucking deal in seventh grade. Oh brother. That was also the class Sakura made eyes at him the most, so that made him pretty grumpy. Then he got 110 on his Spanish test. According to the teacher he was one of only three people who ever remembered, or bothered to put the tildes over the "en-yays." Apparently remembering that meant extra credit, which was stupid considering that most of the class disregarded an important part of the Spanish alphabet altogether. Though Sasuke did have the advantage of having a Californian for a mother who spoke some Spanish, so that helped, not that he really used that to his advantage much. Most of her help was self-imposed, and he accepted it just to shut her up.

Was it weird for a smart kid's favorite class to be gym? Sasuke didn't give a shit. It was floor hockey day in gym, and he was on the offense. At the end of it the goalie was nearly in tears. That was the best part of his day.

Then came lunch, which was normally mediocre, but today it was arguably the worst.

Naruto plopped his tray down right in front of Sasuke, and fell into his seat with the most smitten look on his face, which could only mean trouble. And by trouble, he meant girls, Naruto's favorite topic these days.

"Guess what?" said Naruto, tapping a plastic fork upon a sloppy slab of pre-made Salisbury steak. If there was one thing Sasuke was beyond grateful for, it was that his mom always packed him a lunch. Usually turkey and tomato on rye, his favorite, with whatever fruit was handy, and celery sticks. He didn't particularly like celery, but he ate them because he hated to waste food. Speaking of which, he didn't feel like talking, so he grunted at Naruto while he got started on his sandwich. He was only half listening. Girls might be Naruto's favorite topic, but it wasn't a mutual interest.

"I have a girlfriend."

Sasuke couldn't ignore the way that made his insides squeeze. He even stopped chewing for a second and looked up at Naruto. Once his nerves eased a bit he found that he could swallow, averted his gaze, and concentrated on his food. The significance of this didn't hit him full force quite yet, though he knew immediately that this meant trouble. He hadn't considered for a moment that Naruto's girl-crazed ways would ever amount to anything, let alone a legit girlfriend. It had to be legit. He wouldn't be this happy if it weren't.

Naruto sure showed him.

"OK." That was all Sasuke had to say about that. Congratulations were probably what Naruto was expecting. That, or jealousy. After all, though he had plenty of chances, Sasuke himself never had a girlfriend. He turned them all down. It wasn't even a matter of waiting for The One like Naruto once suggested in babbling. It was just... you know.

When Naruto realized that this was all he was going to get out of Sasuke, his sunny disposition drew down to a look of confusion. Or maybe it was frustration. Or both. Sasuke didn't care. He was too busy trying to suck the bread out of his teeth.

"Come on, man. Could you at least pretend that you care about the greatest thing that's ever happened to me?"

Ouch.

"Woo." Sasuke took a big bite out of his apple and looked upon Naruto with what seemed like more jarring indifference, though beneath it he could feel a pin prick in his chest. So girls trumped best friends all of a sudden? Yeah. Good to know.

"Oh, fuck you, too.

"Anyway, apparently Hinata's had a thing for me for a while, and I never knew until I got the nerve to ask her out. You know Hinata, right? That really cute, shy girl? Yeah, you know, she's so pretty. Hot, actually. She's sweet, too, and I love short hair on a girl. It brings more attention to their face, you know? Man, I'm so lucky. My first girlfriend is perfect."

"If she's so perfect then where is she? Why are you sitting here? Shouldn't you be sitting with her?" said Sasuke, and maybe that came out a little more bitter than he had intended, but the topic of girls was not only boring, annoying, and even a bit disturbing, but it was a sore spot for Sasuke to boot.

"What the fuck's your problem today? I thought you'd be happy for me."

"Oh, ecstatic. Now I get to listen to you rave and obsess over just one girl rather than half the student body. Gonna tell me what her bra size is next? Is _Twilight_ gonna be the first book you bother to read just because every girl and their grandma's obsessed with it right now?"

"Dear god, no. I'll have you know that _my_ Hinata prefers _The Notebook _over Twatlight, actually. And I read sometimes, you dick. How could I possibly be bros with Douchebert Einstein and his older brother this long and not?"

"Tweets don't count."

"_Watchmen_ and _Harry Potter_, OK?

"You know what? Fuck you. If you're just gonna be a jerk then I'll go sit with Shikamaru and them instead."

And so he did just that, and it was at least a week before the two of them would speak again, mostly Sasuke's choice. The worst things about middle school by far were the girls, the girlfriends, and the pressure to be interested and involved in all that. He didn't want one, point-blank. He sort of knew why, thanks to one act of dumbfuckery by Naruto, but that was something he buried far back into his brain, because he didn't want to think about it. It was a problem he could deal with later, perhaps even never, unless he could deal with it in secret, but that was tricky, and Sasuke didn't feel like putting effort into an endeavor that was nowhere near the top of his priorities list anyway.

At least until Naruto befriended some eighth grader named Gaara Sabaku. That's where all of his own trouble would truly begin.

* * *

Naruto had to shit something wicked right in the middle of science class. The teacher wouldn't let him go at first, but she cringed when he hugged his aching stomach and then urged him to get out regardless of whether he was faking it or not. Sometimes he was. Today wasn't one of those days, and he had barely made it.

One liter of mountain dew (mom was gonna freakin' kill him, but it was worth it), cold Salisbury steak, freezer burnt tater tots, and his colossal frustration with Sasuke really did a number on him. Since he'd be sitting there awhile, he pulled out his prepaid phone just to see if he got any text messages. There were two. He got a less than three heart from Hinata which made him all fluttery, and a "congrads dood" from Kiba, but that was it. No "I'm sorry" from Sasuke, that fucking bastard. He didn't have to be such a dick, though it only reinforced a theory Naruto had about him.

He wasn't entirely sure, mind you, but he had a pretty serious inkling that his best friend was gay. He'd suspected as much ever since the summer, and was itching to find out.

So it was Sasuke's birthday, right? Naruto thought he had the ultimate surprise for him. He had spent the night as he often did, and the two of them stayed up pretty late playing _Mario Kart Wii_. Yeah, his parents lightened up with their anti-TV, anti-video games ways when they realized Sasuke's nose was gonna be buried in a book more than anything regardless, and even so they only allowed Nintendo systems, because those had more of the family oriented and physical games. No matter. Wii games were pretty cool sometimes.

Now, they played Wii up until about one in the morning. That was when Naruto couldn't stand it anymore. He had to show Sasuke his surprise, the coolest fucking thing he had ever gotten his hands on, and Uncle Jiraiya had so many of them that it wouldn't even be missed.

With one wicked grin he pulled a dirty magazine out of his pillow case. Good thing Sasuke's house had central air, because his cheeks were already hot from excitement. It was weird to him that Sasuke never talked about girls, but he figured the guy would have to have something to say about gorgeous bare tits and full frontal nudity. Naruto himself observed each glossy page like it was the gospel on his own. He fucking loved women. They were the greatest thing in the world at the time, and he thought about them constantly. He just wanted to know once and for all how much Sasuke shared in his enthusiasm.

"Dude, check this out."

* * *

Unbeknownst to Naruto, a dismayed Sasuke zoned out in class, recalling the same events. Sasuke did check out that magazine. At least, he got to a whopping one page of it. Naruto was leaning over his shoulder, laughing to himself like it was the greatest day of his life. Or maybe he was embarrassed. Who knows?

Anyway, the woman on this particular page looked like an empty shell to Sasuke. Her eyes were devoid of discernible emotion, her lips were too fat, her skin was probably air brushed. She was disturbingly skinny. It was just so fake. The tits were probably fake, too, or breast cancer waiting to happen. They were enormous, two erect nipples staring back at him. OK, whatever. That part did nothing for him. What got him was her using her right hand to separate the lips of her hairless genitalia, revealing what he only thought of as her piss hole.

To be honest, the whole image made him pretty queasy. First of all, he straight up did not find this woman attractive. She was society's definition of beauty, no doubt about it, but was she actually beautiful? He didn't know. He didn't even care. He didn't know why Naruto thought he wanted to look at this, other than the obvious. It was cool. It was naughty. It was taboo, only kind of not, because it was also expected of boys their age.

Sasuke was male. He had just turned thirteen. He was six inches taller than he was six months ago, and he had hair on more than just his head now. He was sporty, and somehow attracted more female attention than ever, though when he looked in the mirror the image that stared back was often depressing. He supposed he was relatively good-looking, depending on who was judging. What he didn't get was why that mattered. Why people couldn't just leave him the fuck alone, particularly of the female variety, regardless of how he looked. If there was one thing he had in common with this naked lady, it was that they were both objectified and conscious of it. The only difference was that this woman got paid. He should start charging every asshole that sent him a love letter.

This was the first time Sasuke consciously acknowledged with utmost certainty that he did not want female attention, nor did he want to give females attention. Not in that way, anyway. And he was OK with that. He closed the magazine and handed it back to Naruto.

"Make sure you get this crap out of here without my parents finding it."

"Really?" said Naruto. "Come on, did you seriously just turn down porn? I mean, I know it's all over the Internet, too, but still, this is vintage."

Then he asked offhandedly, "You gay or something?"

"Who cares?" said Sasuke, a knee jerk reaction. You could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. This wasn't the first time he'd gotten that. In fact, it probably wasn't even the hundredth. He'd been accused of checking guys out in the locker room on multiple occasions, which wasn't even true. He didn't look at anyone. Rather, he made a point not to look at anyone, which probably got him into even more trouble. There was also his unique hairdo and the nice clothes that he always wore outside of sports. He wore polo shirts and jeans that fit and matching shoes because that's what his mom bought. Period. When Itachi was his age he had to wear a lot of the same crap, and as far as Sasuke knew people never called Itachi a queer, a fag, or a homo. Oh, but Sasuke got it all. He was also a fairy, a queen, a dyke (that particular dipstick obviously didn't know that was a term for lesbians, and Sasuke wasn't sure where he had learned that himself, but whatever), a queef (again, WHY?), a cum guzzling ho bag, a manwhore, and his all time favorite: Sasgay.

He was actually quite desensitized to it, for the most part. Most of the guys he played sports with didn't lay into him all that badly, because "for a queer" Sasuke was pretty good at everything that he did. And, to his credit, Sasuke never hit on guys. Ever. Most of them knew that, and most of them laid off. It was just the vocal minority being stupid bullies because they hated themselves.

But then there was Naruto, who was supposed to be his best friend. He really had to go and ask _"You gay, or something?"_ like it was no big deal. Like it was some kind of joke. To his credit, it was the first time anyone actually bothered to ask, rather than deigning to assign Sasuke his sexual orientation to him, but it still pissed him off.

"I care," said Naruto in a small voice. Sasuke didn't really know what to make of it. Was Naruto worried that he'd wasted five years of close friendship with someone the whole school (minus some raving girls) seemed to perceive as gay? Somehow that didn't quite fit. Naruto was pretty cool about accepting people for who and what they were, but was there a limit? Did it matter? Actually, whether Sasuke liked it or not, it mattered a lot. He didn't admit it often, not even to himself, but Naruto meant the world to him. Not to imply anything. Just, Sasuke was stand-offish and had a hard time making really good friends. Naruto was the only close friend he managed to make, to be honest.

"Well, don't. I don't want to talk about it." Sasuke shut off the light and rolled over far to his side of the bed. "I'm going to sleep now."

* * *

Naruto wanted to talk about it. After all, he knew Sasuke well enough to know that he was prone to depression. Even Itachi agreed. Also, they had attended an assembly about a month ago that was probably long forgotten by everyone but Naruto. It dealt with the issue of bullying like they often did, but it also dealt with the issue of suicide, including the suicide of gay teenagers. Now, Naruto already had that faint inkling that Sasuke might be gay at the time, so that whole issue of gay suicide made his heart jump into his throat. Sasuke wouldn't commit suicide, would he? Though Naruto sincerely doubted it, he also didn't feel like taking his chances.

He had to know for sure, no matter what. All he knew was that Sasuke wasn't interested in girls. Well, that's all the evidence Naruto had really. That, and the fact that Sasuke didn't deny it. He just never talked about it, which was a shame because Naruto wanted to tell him that it was OK, you know? It was a hell of a lot better to be gay than... yeah. Well, actually, that didn't sound right.

More like, it was just OK to be gay. Period. A lot of people thought so, what with gay marriage being legalized in more and more states. LGBT support was a common thing on bumper stickers, too, and a lot of TV shows had gay characters now. Not to mention the hand the Internet had raising awareness. Naruto didn't have to think about it too much to realize that he had no problem with it. He must have slept in a bed with Sasuke a hundred times, and it's not like Sasuke tried to jump his balls or anything. Gay people being perverts that can't control themselves was just a stupid myth that Naruto could vouch for, granted he was correct about Sasuke, and he was pretty sure that he was.

So pushing girls on Sasuke was probably rude, then. But then what was he supposed to do, push guys on him? Was that rude, too? Did Naruto even know anyone who was openly gay? He looked up. The graffiti of bathroom stall doors were sometimes helpful in that regard. He bothered to make an effort to decipher the faded Sharpie scrawl on the door and walls that surrounded him. Most of it was generic fuckery about carpet munching, this dude's a giant cock, this girl's an ugly cunt, I fucked this teacher last night, blazin' 420 all day long, little drawings of dicks, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, and stupid shit like that. Obviously the janitor couldn't be bothered to wash these doors ever, or perhaps just gave up. He eventually stumbled upon something of use, though. He really was one lucky bastard sometimes.

"Ga... Gaara sux big daddy cock... 4 slammin' head call Gaara at-how the fuck am I supposed to read that number?... Gayra cocksucker..."

_Gaara? Who the hell is that?_

Well, Naruto wasn't going to find out if he spent his entire day on the toilet. He wasn't even sure if this "Gaara" was actually gay or not, or even how to find him. After all, Sasuke's name popped up once or twice, too, and Naruto thought about taking his own permanent marker and blacking it out, but then thought against it. After all, he had the mind of a delinquent. He knew that if he blacked out their precious bathroom slander that they'd just replace each one with twenty more, and Sasuke was already pissy enough at the moment. The whole point was to make Sasuke feel better, not worse.

So Naruto flushed, washed his hands, then set out on a quest to find this Gaara person, hoping like hell that he was actually gay, or at least knew someone who was.

* * *

Sasuke decided to meet Sakura at the stop sign after all, and she looked positively stunned. He almost thought she was going to turn tail and run. After all, he was in a terrible mood, and was sure that it showed. The mayo from his sandwich was giving him acid reflux, and he was working on a pretty disgusting headache as well. He'd never been so pissed off at Naruto in his life. It wasn't so much the girlfriend that bothered him, but it almost felt like he was being replaced. He felt like that for awhile actually, when Naruto started noticing every female ever, but this was just the final nail in the coffin. So Hinata was "the greatest thing that ever happened" to him, was she? Well... fine.

Fine. So be it. Whatever. He could take control of at least one problem in his life.

"H-hi Sasuke," said Sakura, blushing like crazy. Her arms were folded behind her, and her head was bowed. It actually reminded him of Hinata quite a bit, which only put him in a worse mood. Why was he here again? He worked it out in his mind an hour ago. _Look, Sakura. You're not terrible, for a girl anyway. That doesn't mean I want to be your boyfriend, though, so you should quit wasting your time, OK? I'm not interested. For what it's worth, it's not just you. I'm not interested in _any_ girls. I'm kind of... you know._

His thoughts were cut off when she threw herself into him, pressing her lips against his so suddenly. They were sticky with some watermelon lip gloss crap, and her hands were cold! He was so startled by this that he reacted before he could even think.

He grabbed her and shoved her so hard that she yelped and fell into the pavement sideways. He could hear her clothes scrape against the sidewalk. It was a mistake to push so hard, an accident, and he felt bad the moment he did it. At least nobody was around to see it. The cops could go after him for this. She probably would have been bleeding if she weren't dressed in pants and a hoodie, and it took her a minute to gather herself into a sitting position. All he could do for the longest time was watch, like he wasn't even involved.

The worst part of it all was that he'd made her cry. He didn't know what to do for her short of giving her false hope, or the wrong impression. What could he even do? He couldn't take it back, could he?

He just didn't understand girls. He didn't put in the effort to. He just didn't want to. Now he'd made one cry, and it actually hurt him. He didn't need to take his bad day out on her. That's not how it was supposed to be. She didn't deserve that.

"Here," said Sasuke, extending his hand to her. She glanced at it apprehensively through her tears, then looked up at him as though to discern whether his intentions were good or not. "Come on, please get up."

"Why?" she croaked. Why? Why what? Why get up? Why did he push her? Why wasn't he interested in her? Perhaps it was all three, and he saw a change in her eyes that didn't sit right with him. It was a look that made him think he should have stuck with his original plan, which was ignoring her. He wasn't exactly stellar at conveying things that were actually on his mind.

"I didn't come out here to hurt you. I'm sorry," he said, and he meant it.

She slapped his hand away and let herself up at that.

"If you weren't interested you could have just said so!" she belted at the top of her lungs. Then she launched her fist into his face like a missile, and he saw stars. He almost fell. _Goddamnshitfuck_, he didn't know girls could hit that hard, especially one like Sakura, but he deserved that. He absolutely did. And while he rubbed his sore cheek he watched her retreat into the neighborhood, still crying, hugging herself. Well... fuck. Just, fuck. Nice going.

He could taste blood tinted with watermelon. It was pretty nasty.

_I'm not interested in _any_ girls. I'm kind of... you know._

He knew, but the words for it wouldn't come quite yet.

**TBC**

**A/N:** OK, credits: _Watchmen_ is a graphic novel by Alan Moore. _Twilight_ is by Stephenie Meyer. _The Notebook_ is by Nicholas Sparks. I've already credited the others.


	8. Happenstance, Part 1

Happenstance, Part 1

* * *

Naruto was practically bouncing on his heels out by the flag pole where he would meet his dearly beloved. She said that this time she would run out of her last class just to catch up with him before the chastity police could arrive. One would think it only too easy to just be with your girl after school and celebrate one whole week of being together. A week was practically a lifetime, after all, so it was a very big deal. If she got there quickly enough the two of them could probably make a break for McDonald's, where they could get an ice cream and share it. It wasn't too cold for ice cream yet, was it? Or would it be more mature to buy a coffee? Naruto thought coffee was pretty disgusting, except for his mom's. She always managed to put like half a pound of sugar in hers, then she'd complain about being fat and dad wouldn't know what to say.

Speaking of which, Naruto couldn't wait to introduce Hinata to his parents. They still had to get over the hurdle of her telling her dad that she had a boyfriend, though. She really wasn't looking forward to that. What was it with people being scared of their dads anyway? Naruto wondered if his own dad was so awesome that the universe didn't have enough awesome to spare for all the other ones. Yeah, that must have been it.

"Naruto!" said Hinata, sprinting toward him out of the crowd. Her class always wound up stuck behind his because it was at the farthest end of the building. She was so pretty with her floral headband and purple hoodie. Her cheeks were always so pink and she had the most bizarre eye color he had ever seen on anyone. They were almost stark white with only a hint of silver. She explained to him once the country her family was from and why they looked so unique, but he'd already forgotten and felt bad. It didn't really matter, though. She was crazy about him and she was perfect, so that's all that mattered.

"Yo," said Naruto, scratching the back of his head. He still wasn't smooth, like those guys who have all the best lines prepared at the drop of a hat. He also didn't really know where his hands belonged. In his dream world they were all over her, hugging, touching, kissing, all that good stuff. In reality, she was his first girlfriend, and he was still trying to digest that. Also, he didn't want to go too fast and scare her away. How fast was too fast, though? That's something Sasuke would have probably figured out by now if he actually dated girls, the jerk, not that Naruto would have asked anyway. He could figure this out. How hard could it be?

"Hi," she said and smiled up at him, and he smiled back, and a few jerks getting on the school bus whistled at them. Naruto gave them the finger, and in return he got kissy noises. Oh please. Like these guys didn't have these problems, too, or maybe they were just jealous. In fact, they were obviously jealous.

"Hello," he said again, maintaining the loop of greetings. He looked down at her hand and wondered if he dared to take it. It wouldn't be the first time, except there were still a lot of people around and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Then again, they would have to learn eventually, so he grabbed her hand and even laced his fingers with hers. She didn't seem to mind.

"I missed you," she said, swinging their arms together in the breeze. Some people were staring, but the hooting and hollering bunch was gone at least.

"I missed you, too, Hun-he-ha... damn it." That was Naruto's attempt at giving her a pet name anyway. This was how they usually ended, but he felt better as soon as she giggled. She was so easy-going.

Then a certain someone had to clear his throat behind them and ruin it.

"Uncle wants us home right away, Hinata. Let's go before we miss our bus," said Neji, Hinata's jerk cousin who Naruto had personally dubbed the "chastity police." He thought it was a fair bit more classy than "cock blocker," but it was the same idea. This guy was a know-it-all eighth grader that was always getting in the way for some reason. If Naruto called Hinata on her cell phone and this asshole picked up he knew he wasn't gonna get to talk to his girl. Neji would just go on and on about how, if Naruto has enough time to "harass" his little cousin then shouldn't he have enough time to do all of his homework, graduate with high honors, and get a real job, only he can't because he was _destined_ to scrub toilets at WalMart and never retire. Yeah, Neji was pretty high on the list of people Naruto wanted to punch in the throat now.

"I know, Neji," Hinata said, sliding her hand out of Naruto's. The sudden chill that licked his skin was far less than pleasant. See, he probably would have at least gotten his first kiss by now if it weren't for this crap. Hinata could never hang out after school, so their times together were fleeting little moments before, during, or right after last bell. He took Sasuke up on his less-than-kindly offered suggestion and spent his every lunch break with her now instead. After all, once Sasuke was finished being a pissy assweasel Naruto could at least hang out with _him _after school.

Still, Naruto couldn't help but feel kind of bad. After all, without him Sasuke elected to sit alone during lunch. As far as Naruto knew Sasuke didn't really interact with too many people outside of sports, and he didn't get why. Well, he sort of got why he didn't want to interact with girls, and yeah, some of the guys were dicks. The scrawl of the ever unwashed bathroom stall door said it all.

Speaking of which, as Naruto watched the chastity police and his girl's retreating backs, Neji surprised him by turning around while they were still within earshot. Hinata was surprised, too. Didn't they have a bus to catch, after all?

"I almost forgot. Naruto, you were looking for some kid named Gaara, right? Gaara Sabaku? He's in most of my classes."

Naruto's jaw fell. He didn't even know how to begin to go about finding this guy. He had no information whatsoever. Not what he looked like, not what he dressed like, not even what grade he was in. All he knew was that this "Gaara" was allegedly gay. Naruto even tried looking him up on facebook, but couldn't remember how his name was spelled, not that it would have mattered if the door's spelling was incorrect. He didn't know, or didn't remember, Gaara's last name either, so he had to hope that the name "Gaara" was unique enough for there to be no other. All he could do really was ask around, though he didn't recall asking Neji at any point.

"How did you know?"

"Hinata asked," said Neji, cocking his head toward her. She gave a smile, and Naruto swore he could scoop her into his arms and kiss her right then and there, insecurities and a douchebag cousin be damned. Though he had to admit, it was cool of Neji to find the guy for him, if nothing else. "We don't have time for this, the bus is leaving. Anyway, he's in detention right now and said he'd meet you outside when it was over.

"Let's go, Hinata."

"Bye, Naruto!" she said, waving as she was dragged to the bus by her wrist. They managed to make it just before the door shut. Naruto himself never had the pleasure of riding the school bus, because they lived so close to where he went to school anyway. The high school his mom worked at, the one he'd be going to in two years from now, was about a mile from where they lived, but since mom worked there she would be driving him there, meaning he'd have to get up super early. That actually didn't bother him too much.

So anyway, now Naruto had to wait for this Gaara guy. Oh well. It's not like he had anything better to do without Hinata around.

* * *

Sasuke was dressed in his gym clothes ready to meet up with the rest of the guys who would soon be trying out for football. He'd taken to dressing in a bathroom stall lately as opposed to the boy's locker room so not to offend anyone with his supposed gayness. It was a double-edged sword that would draw attention to himself, sure, but it was still nice to have some time alone regardless. So far the benefits of having a few minutes of isolation outweighed the flaws, and he found himself far more mentally prepared to deal with people. He felt himself recharged, energized, and ready to kick some ass.

Then he happened to hear the sound of Ino's voice around the corner and froze in his tracks. The absolute last thing he wanted to deal with was her, and he was about to turn heel and take the long way around until he caught wind of what she was talking about with two other girls.

"... hilarious! Stupid Suckura. I heard that her breath was so bad that Sasuke totally pushed her away. Serves her right. I mean, who could possibly love a creepy nerd with a big forehead like that anyway? And that ugly bubblegum hair, don't even get me started."

"I know, right? And Sasuke is like miles out of her league. He's probably the most gorgeous guy in the world, and that stupid, fat cow thinks that he'd give her the time of day? What a joke!"

"I tried to tell her, but she's in her own little world," said Ino at last, and Sasuke felt acid burning in his throat. "She's a short, flat-chested little nobody. And have you seen the clothes that she wears? Like, I know her family's poor and all, but you can't dumpster dive for fashion and expect a hot-shot like Sasuke to give you the time of day."

All bets were off once the three of them started chortling.

Sasuke slammed his fist against the wall, startling the three girls out of their scuttlebutt. They just didn't get it. First of all, he felt bad about pushing Sakura. He still felt bad about it, in fact, and didn't even know how to begin to apologize. He thought it best to leave her alone, because doing nothing couldn't exactly make things worse, could it? At least, that's how he justified ignoring her now. Second of all, he had just borne witness to being completely and utterly objectified, which also pissed him off. He wasn't their little Abercrombie & Fitch model. See, this is why he wasn't sure whether he was gay or not, because he was pretty sure that he'd hate girls who acted like this regardless.

Third of all, and this was years in the coming. Ino was finally going to get a piece of his mind, so help him.

"What was that?" One of the girls asked, and Sasuke was more than happy to make his presence known at that point. His fists were balled at his sides, his eyes were narrow, and the way the light reflected off of those deep black irises almost made them appear red. He was sneering as though he had just stepped in shit. Basically he had.

"Ah! Sasuke!" said Ino, and Sasuke backed her into the lockers and slammed one hand beside her left ear, resting his palm where it landed as he stared down at her with hatred so palpable you could cut it with a knife. The other girls ran away. Some friends they were.

"Isn't Sakura supposed to be your friend?" said Sasuke. They've all been in school together since elementary school, and where Sasuke didn't really bond with anyone besides Naruto, certain things, certain people, and certain relationships did not escape his attention. He knew that Sakura and Ino were once friends, best friends, even. What the hell could prompt someone to completely throw their own best friend under the bus? Frankly, he already knew, but he didn't want to hear it. He had more than enough to feel bad about these days.

"Don't answer that." He cut her off just as a noise squeaked past her lips. "Let's just get one thing straight, Ino Yamanaka. I hate people like you most of all, people that would sell out their own friends for a cheap laugh. Are you fuckin' kidding me? Do you have any idea how Sakura feels? Do you even care?

"Of course not, because you're completely self-absorbed and seem to have it in your thick skull that something will become of you and I.

"Well, guess what? It wasn't going to happen before, and it's really not going to happen now," he said, then he leaned in close enough for her wide, darting eyes to blur in his vision, and he told her, "Fuck off, you stupid bitch."

At that the pillar that was Ino the gossip queen crumbled right to her knees, and Sasuke took that as his cue to get going, feeling nothing as the first of her sobs echoed across the hall. He just left her like the garbage that she was. He didn't want to be late for practice after all, and he had enough pent-up rage now to take down an ox with his bare hands.

* * *

Naruto sat against the flagpole for at least a half an hour after Hinata and Neji took off, and the cold dirt was already making his butt fall asleep. His Nintendo DS's battery power was in the red at the moment, so he was mashing buttons to defeat his rival D1ckbutt (or so he named him) in _Pokemon HeartGold_. It was a pain in the ass, too. The only useful pokemon in his party at the moment was his Quilava, he was out of revives, and D1ckbutt sent out his fucking Croconaw. He was ready to hurl the damn thing across the parking lot until someone walked in front of him and cleared their throat. Naruto snapped his DS shut and yelped when he saw the guy in front of him.

"Naruto, I presume?" he said in a low voice. Now, Naruto had no idea what to expect whatsoever. He couldn't just picture some guy he knew nothing about, after all, though he supposed one thing he wasn't prepared for was how scary this guy looked. He had the whole goth shit going on for him with black boots, black pants, a faded black t-shirt with some band logo Naruto had never heard of chipping off of it, and the sleeves were frayed. His thumbnails hanging out of his pockets were panted black. He had blood red hair, really thin eyebrows, black eyeliner that was laid on heavily, and had this look in his sea green eyes which suggested that he could crush anything that he didn't like in an instant. They were bloodshot, too, and Naruto wondered if this guy was on drugs or something. He suddenly wasn't too sure about all this.

"Uh, yeah. And you're Gaara?"

"What about it?"

"No shit? YES! I mean, that's good. I've kinda been trying to find you for awhile, man. It's really, really important. There's something I have to know."

"I should sit down."

Gaara took a seat beside Naruto and leaned his elbows into his crossed legs. He then took a 5-Hour Energy shot out of his pocket and knocked it back while Naruto prepared to explain himself. It wouldn't do to be outside for too much longer, though, seeing as the sky had grown overcast, the air was getting cold, and Gaara hadn't even brought a hoodie.

"Hurry it up. My house is a mile away and I don't want to get stuck in the rain," said Gaara, eyeing the sky miserably.

"OK, OK. Look, it's kind of a weird story but just listen, OK? Or actually, I mean, I'll start with this. I promise I'm totally not asking this to be mean, but are you actually gay?"

"Is that relevant?" Gaara was now staring at the empty palm-sized bottle he was rolling around in his hand. The tone of his voice was even and he didn't seem all that surprised. So far so good if you asked Naruto.

"Yes. And even if you're not gay, do you know anyone who is? Because I don't, err, not to my knowledge anyway, and I need someone who's gay to help me."

"Why?" Gaara considered Naruto for a moment there, perhaps trying to decide whether or not this complete stranger sitting beside him was full of crap. Given all the hateful little messages, Naruto couldn't exactly blame the guy, but at the same time he didn't really know what he was getting himself into now. Could he take this guy in a fight if things got ugly? What if Sasuke found out about this? Sasuke obviously didn't enjoy having his sexual orientation called into question right now, but if he was just gonna do nothing but be miserable and alone then Naruto wasn't sure that he should allow that. Either way he felt like he risked being a terrible friend.

"It's for a friend. My best friend. I'm worried about him, you know? He gets bullied and shit and acts like it doesn't bother him, but I think it does and... I dunno. I don't want him to be alone, I guess."

"He has you," Gaara offered.

"He does have me, but he won't confide in me. He's a stubborn dumbass. He always assumes the worst and he won't talk to me about it. I'm not gonna say why, but I have reason to believe that he's gay, and I think if he knows that he's not alone he'll have an easier time dealing with it. I mean, does that sound completely stupid? I just... tried to consider what would help if it were me, I guess, but I dunno. I'm no good at shit like this."

"Neither am I," said Gaara, though he was really taken when he noticed the way Naruto's lip started to tremble. He had already felt that Naruto's concern was genuine, though he still had his reservations. "Let me ask you this. If your 'friend' actually turned out to be gay, how would that change your relationship with him?"

"It wouldn't," said Naruto. "I mean, OK, it'd take some getting used to, but he and I are tight, man. There's nothing we can't overcome, because that's what real bros do, damn it! There's no way I'm gonna leave him hangin'."

"No? You wouldn't wonder if he found you attractive at all? You wouldn't be grossed out if he kissed his boyfriend in front of you? Hell, you wouldn't think about kissing him yourself?"

"Ack! Come on, man. Stop talking weird shit!"

"It's not weird shit, Naruto. It's reality, and I'm not sure that you're ready for it."

"Tch. Who cares? He could have a... a-a big gay buttsex orgy with glitter and confetti for all I care, but he's still my best friend and that's not gonna fuckin' change no matter what you think. Got it?"

"I heard you the first time." Gaara felt a raindrop plink against the bridge of his nose and cursed under his breath. He knew he was gonna get stuck in the rain. Somehow he just knew it. "I'll tell you what. Introduce me to your friend tomorrow. If he's cute I'll drag him into the nearest broom closet and ravage him. Sound good?"

"Too much information!" said Naruto, scrunching his nose. "But... yeah, more or less. But only if he wants it! I know he's stubborn and all, but don't force him! I'll fucking kill you if you hurt him, and that includes telling anyone about this conversation. It's between you and me, buddy. Is that a promise?"

"Of course," said Gaara, accepting Naruto's handshake.

Gaara's lips curled into something that Naruto guessed was a smile, or at least the closest thing to one that this kid knew how to make. He looked like something Hell had spat out, but he actually seemed like a decent guy. After having this conversation with him Naruto felt better. Call him crazy, but deep down inside he really did think that he was doing the right thing, and even that Gaara wouldn't let him down. There was still a chance that he was being naïve and totally ruining everything ever, but it was a chance worth taking. Heck, if Naruto's friendship with Sasuke was as good as he boasted, and it was, then there really was nothing that it couldn't survive.

"Shit, it's raining," said Naruto, just noticing the droplets hitting the sidewalk. He sprung to his feet and put his hood up. "You have a ride coming, right?"

"I told you earlier that I had to walk." Naruto recalled something about a mile and winced.

"Tch, like hell." Naruto patted Gaara's shoulder, and the two of them sprung to their feet. "Come on, we'll run to my house. It's close by. I'm sure one of my parents can give you a ride home no prob."

Gaara didn't get a chance to respond by the time Naruto broke into a sprint, so he had little choice but to either follow, or go in the other direction for one mile in the rain. Frankly, Gaara didn't fancy the latter one bit.

* * *

It was the damndest thing. When Sasuke dragged himself out of his warm and wonderful cocoon of blankets to join the living world he was expecting the same old shit, just any old day, except for one thing he had to do with Naruto after school, but whatever.

He dressed in whatever was clean and threw a New England Patriots jacket over it. He could do nothing about the hopeless state of his hair (not that he ever cared), and inhaled a banana for breakfast.

Once his shoes were on he threw on his pack walked to school. He only pushed the snooze button twice that morning, so making a mad dash for the school wasn't necessary this time, nor did he have to wake his mom and ask for a ride. He lived just far enough away that he could have taken the school bus, but why? He'd never been on one, he never wanted to be on one, and he wasn't going on one. Itachi had to take the bus to school before getting his license, but he was up and out an hour earlier than Sasuke, so he wasn't there to give his brother a ride.

Now, the grumpy morning stroll was the only thing about today that was normal, mind you. He knew something was up since last night when Naruto called to bury the hatchet, and then insisted that they meet up after school so that Sasuke could meet this totally awesome new friend of his. So first the idiot had a girlfriend, and now he had some other friend. Now, Naruto did make friends. He liked people. Thing is, he didn't thrust people upon Sasuke. Any people in Sasuke's life just kind of happened, though it was hard to see any of them as friends. His friendship with Naruto was something else entirely, though, something that he liked to think was special. Something that couldn't be touched.

It was rather irrational how much he didn't like the idea of Hinata, and he wasn't a fan of the idea of Gaara either. Why did that name sound familiar? That probably wasn't a good sign, and yet after one week of giving the dork the silent treatment Sasuke had to admit that he missed him, loud voice, motor mouth and all. Without Naruto around Sasuke was more withdrawn, more inclined to avoid everything that wasn't relevant to his studies and his sports. He didn't even find much enjoyment in his books, because his mind wandered, wondering what Naruto was up to. Probably no good, which is what he needed Sasuke for. He needed Sasuke to keep him out of trouble.

For all he knew, this Gaara person could be trouble. Big trouble. He wouldn't doubt it for a second.

Sasuke tried not to dwell on it, and wound up getting his wish in the form of something else that he hated. Once he got to his locker and opened it a pink note fell between his feet. "Fuck," he grumbled as he snatched it off the ground. The message he had received was brief, but packed enough of a punch to make him really regret bothering to crawl out of his bed this morning.

_Sasuke,_

_I heard about what happened with Ino yesterday. We need to talk. I'll find you at lunch._

_- Sakura_

She must have been mad. He did rip her best friend a new one, after all, but regretted nothing. The note was completely devoid of all the usual girly bullshit, well, aside from the fact that the paper was pink. Who kept a pad of pink paper anyway? Sakura, it would seem. He shoved the note into his pocket and sighed deeply. The warning bell went off, and he hadn't bothered putting his jacket on the hanger. He just stuffed it in and slammed the locker shut. Great. His day was off to a fantastic start. He could just feel it ooze with sunshine and joy, the joy of dealing with his peers, his very favorite thing. Yes, he couldn't wait.

Lunch happened before he knew it. Tempting though it was to take his turkey and tomato on rye into the bathroom to eat, he decided that he at least owed it to Sakura to hear whatever it was she had to say. He would have his say, too, and the two of them would part ways and hopefully never bother with one another ever again.

She found him in his usual spot and placed her tray down. Today's delicacy seemed to be some sad looking fried chicken and mushy canned string beans. The only edible-looking thing on her tray was a carton of chocolate milk. Hopefully it wasn't expired.

"Are you aware that about half the student body thinks we're dating now?" said Sakura, though she didn't sound too thrilled about it. There was that, at least.

"I make an effort to avoid the rumor mill as much as I can," said Sasuke with a shrug. "Could be worse. I don't mind."

"Well, I do mind." She hit the table with her fist and glared at him. "Just what the hell did you tell Ino yesterday, anyway?"

"She was talking shit about you and I got pissed, so I told her to fuck off."

Sakura's jaw fell.

"Don't make more out of it than there is, Sakura. I didn't feel like standing idly by without giving her a piece of my mind this time. She had it coming."

"Then what am I supposed to make of it? I don't understand you. First you push me away, then you defend me. Do you like me or not?"

"Not in a boyfriend-girlfriend sense, if that's what you're asking."

"I didn't think so," she said, this time unable to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"You're not bad for a girl," Sasuke offered, finding no point in containing his thoughts on the matter. In fact, he wanted someone to know the truth. He gave it some thought and weighed his options. He could tell Sakura the whole truth, and if she didn't like it then she could fuck off, and her absence from his life wouldn't make it any worse. Whether or not she spread rumors wouldn't really change anything. Her word against his. Not that he cared. In a way, he thought he was doing her a favor by letting her down easily. In a voice barely above a whisper he said, "I'm not interested in girls."

"You're not... what?"

"You heard me. Make of that what you will. It won't change anything."

"Wait a minute, time out." Sakura looked around them to make sure no one was eavesdropping. They picked the dark corner by the rusted fire door to eat, and not many people ate in this corner because it smelled like mildew. On the other side of the long table three homely looking students were engaged in some sort of conversation that Sakura couldn't hear, so she figured that she and Sasuke were well out of earshot, too.

To be safe, though, she moved herself and her tray over to Sasuke's side and sat right next to him, dying to hear about this.

"So you're not interested in _any_ girls?" said Sakura, her voice a whisper now.

"Nope," said Sasuke, taking his first bite out of his sandwich. Given the daunting nature of this particular conversation he felt surprisingly at ease. Maybe he actually trusted Sakura, or maybe he'd grown tired of caring.

"Maybe you just haven't found the right one?"

"There is no right one."

"How do you know that? Have you ever even tried?"

"No need. I know myself better than you do, and I can promise you that I'm not interested in _any_ girls. Get the picture?"

"Eh... no. I mean, how?"

"Easy. I don't like girls. I don't find girls attractive. I don't want a girlfriend. No offense, but that's the way it is. Deal with it."

Sakura's meal, just like her appetite, had grown cold in that moment. She took a moment to digest the new information and even have a sip of her milk, where Sasuke polished off his sandwich like it was no big deal. They may as well have been discussing the weather. He started peeling the orange that he dug out of his paper bag when Sakura felt the need to continue talking. He could practically hear the light bulb go off in her head.

"Are you interested in _boys_?" she whispered. It was a wonder that didn't occur to her sooner, given the state of the rumor mill, or at least Sasuke's unfortunate knowledge of it.

He shrugged. "Maybe."

He could feel his heart thud in his chest now, and his stomach tightened. The blasé face that he put on was at serious risk of crumbling, and he had no choice but to accept what had just come out of his mouth. He told himself it ought to have been obvious, and that Sakura was kind of stupid for not just figuring it out all on her own, but if he hadn't even admitted as much to himself yet then how could she possibly know? It didn't matter. It was none of her business anyway, but with that he officially considered them even for the whole pushing incident.

"Wow, really? I thought those were just stupid rumors."

"Most of them are stupid rumors," said Sasuke. "For example, if anyone tries to tell you that I went down on them, I didn't."

Sakura blushed and pushed her tray away. She still hadn't eaten anything. Sasuke had half an orange left and offered it to her, but she shook her head.

"Who else knows? About you. This, I mean. I don't want to say anything to the wrong people."

"That's good to know," said Sasuke. "Only you and I know about this."

"What?" Sakura practically collapsed under the weight of the situation. "But... how come? What about your friends? Your family? Why tell just me?"

"Why not?" _You deserve the whole truth, after what happened last week. I wasn't lying when I said that I was sorry. Is this proof enough?_

"Geez, you're hopeless."

A teacher on the microphone announced that there was only five minutes left of lunch. Sasuke still hadn't finished the last half of his orange, so Sakura wound up taking it after all.

"All right, here's the deal. I'll keep my trap shut on one condition, Mr. Uchiha."

He shut his eyes and sighed. These damn girls and their ulterior motives.

"What?" he spat.

"Wow, no need to be so rude," she said, taking an orange slice and chewing it. "All I was going to say is let's be friends. Is that so terrible?"

Sasuke blinked. "I suppose it isn't."

"Great!" She gave him a quick sideways hug around the shoulders and smiled at him. Under different circumstances, perhaps in some weird parallel universe, Sasuke might have found her cute. He liked that she read books and wasn't stupid. He also found that he liked her accepting nature. Perhaps he could stand to have her as his friend. Again, for a girl she was actually pretty decent.

With that the warning bell went off in its hair-raising shrill, and Sasuke had the rest of his day to get through.

**TBC**


	9. Happenstance, Part 2

Happenstance, Part 2

* * *

It was only quarter past noon once Sasuke put the first female contact on his phone that wasn't his mother. He didn't recognize some of the names when he scrolled through it, which was usually a sign that it was OK to delete them. Somehow he'd missed that Ino's number wound up on there, which wasn't his doing. _Delete._ Well, Sasuke couldn't say it wasn't nice to no longer have her all over his ass, but he was going to have a serious problem if she went after Sakura now. Once he decided that someone was his friend then he wouldn't tolerate anyone hurting them. Like many moms with rowdy boys, his made it perfectly clear that hitting girls was not OK, but certain rules could be broken in extenuating circumstances. One could hope it would never come to that, though. Ino wasn't that bad, she was just being extra stupid these days. It was probably the cafeteria food.

At final bell Sasuke took his sweet time wading through the crowd of eager escapees. It was Friday, so the double doors to the outside world were extra congested. Sasuke couldn't say he blamed them. He wasn't overly fond of school himself, he was just good at it. Usually he didn't have to deal with this because he'd been practicing for football tryouts with a group of guys, but he had to bail today. His idiot friend needed him to meet another idiot friend. Oh geez. What if it was a clone of Naruto? What if it was a hundred clones of Naruto? Sasuke felt like he'd read something like that in a book once. A really terrible book. Or maybe it was a manga. He didn't read manga very often.

Anyway, what a stupid thought. He was ashamed of himself for a whopping two seconds until he'd stepped out the door. Once outside he caught the first glimpse of the flagpole where he was to meet Naruto, and what Sasuke saw was him giving Hinata, his so-called girlfriend, a hug. Now, like with Sakura, Sasuke had to admit that he had very little problem with Hinata. She met all of Sasuke's personal requirements: she was quiet, she left him alone, and though he wasn't entirely sure he was content to assume that she wasn't stupid. Despite all of this, he felt an almost overwhelming urge to run over there and rip those two apart. Naruto would get mad, Sasuke would already be mad, the two of them would bicker at the top of their lungs, and Hinata would just kind of shrink back and disappear. She was good at doing that anyway. Afterward Naruto would follow Sasuke home and annoy him while he tried to write his paper. _Who writes a damn paper on Friday anyway?_ he would say, and Sasuke would say that he'd have the entire Saturday and Sunday to do whatever he wanted, and Naruto was just a procrastinating loser.

Sasuke sprang his thoughts when some asshole rammed into his shoulder.

"Hey!" he said, but the guy ignored him. He was practically stomping toward Naruto and Hinata like an angry bull. His long, smooth hair tied down at the bottom and bouncing on his tailbone, a place Sasuke's eyes shouldn't be in public, but damn if his conversation with Sakura earlier didn't give him a lot to think about. A lot he was sure he'd regret thinking about.

He could always kick this guy's ass. That'd take his mind from ogling him, not that he was or anything.

"I said hey!" Sasuke ran after him. "I'm talking to you, you androgynous twit."

That got him. Neji stopped and whipped his head around. Oh, feisty. Sasuke was content to play the stare down game with his oblivious attacker. What some people didn't get about Sasuke was that he wasn't weak. You could call him names and kick dirt in his face all you wanted, and the only reason you wouldn't be swallowing your own teeth is because he was supposed to be the perfect golden boy for his parents. That was only while school was in session, mind you. Once the faculty was gone Sasuke was more than happy to ram this princess's face right into the dirt. A meal fitting for her royal highness.

"What did you just call me?" said Neji, turning to face Sasuke completely. He had some creepy fuckin' eyes, this one. They were like the exact opposite of Sasuke's eye color, and made him seem almost ghost-like. In fact, now that he got a better look, he could see that he had a very strong resemblance to Hinata. So that's how it is.

"Down on planet earth where we have _manners_-" Sasuke started, brushing off the shoulder Neji had bumped into. It didn't even hurt, but it was the principle of the matter. "-we say 'excuse me' rather than bulldozing through people."

"You're one to talk of manners, or of being an 'androgynous twit' as you so eloquently put it."

Sasuke closed the distance between them and grabbed a fistful of Neji's shirt. "Do you like dirt, princess? Because you're about to eat some."

"Hey! Stop it, you two," said Hinata, and both boys whipped their heads in her direction and told her to shut up. She reeled back, and that's when Naruto cut in and pried their chests apart. He gave both a dirty look for yelling at his girl.

"Screwball, get on your damn bus," Naruto said to Neji. Then he jabbed his thumb toward Sasuke and said, "I'll deal with this asshole."

"Screwball?"

"Neji, let's go," said Hinata, tugging at his arm for once. She looked almost angry in a way, until she looked up at Naruto. Then she just looked crestfallen. "Have a good weekend, Naruto. I'm sorry about all this."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie." Naruto made a heart with his hands, and this seemed to piss off both Neji and Sasuke, which was exactly what gave him the balls to do it. She blushed and smiled like it'd made her day, then she turned around and resumed dragging her irate cousin all the way to the bus. He had enough strength to break away from her if he wanted to, but he also wasn't stupid enough to miss his bus. He wouldn't want to get on uncle's bad side or anything, the stupid goodie-two shoes. It reminded Naruto of a certain someone, and it was hard to decide which Hyuuga Sasuke glared at more hatefully. Probably Neji. Damn Neji.

"Sasuke, you suck," said Naruto, punching him in the shoulder. "I don't get to see my girl again until Monday, you know."

"I would have been happy to make that prissy fuck miss his bus. You should be grateful."

"Don't pretend that you did it for me. I saw the whole damn thing and you both suck.

"Actually, I would pay to see that fight, to be honest." Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head. "I just stepped in because Hinata didn't want you guys fighting."

"Obviously," said Sasuke with a huff.

"Holy shit, the look on his face when you called him a a-aaa-what the fuck did you call him? An andromedas twat?"

"Androgynous twit."

"Yeah! What the hell does an-draw-gin-iss mean, anyway?"

Sasuke wasn't proud of what popped into his mind, but he said it anyway. "It means... dude looks like a lady."

Naruto's face turned purple as he exploded with laughter. The busses took off while he struggled to breathe between extra loud ha's. He had to clutch his stomach with one hand and lean against Sasuke's shoulder with the other. There were tears in his eyes.

"It wasn't _that_ funny, dumbass."

"I know... pffft... fuck. Hahahaha! Your face. That... deadpan... and-and you said... "

"I know what I said. I was there."

Somehow this made Naruto fall over laughing. He was going to die of asphyxiation if he kept this up. Sasuke nudged him in the side with his toe, then kicked the last laugh out of his dying friend when he wouldn't get up. Naruto tried to swipe Sasuke's ankles with his leg, but he failed, and earned himself another toe nudge, this time in the ribs.

"What are you, five? Get off the damn ground."

"That hurt, you dick."

"Which part? The part where you were dying of oxygen deprivation, or the part where I kicked you?"

"Fuck you. That part."

"OK then," said Sasuke with a shrug. He helped Naruto to his feet and strolled toward the flagpole that was still curiously absent of anyone in particular. Not that Sasuke minded, but he still had to ask, "So where's this Gaara guy anyway?"

"In detention. He's got detention every day for the rest of the month for fighting, or something. I forget what exactly."

"Sounds like a real class act," Sasuke grumbled. He leaned against the flagpole whereas Naruto seated himself before it. Did it not bother him that it was raining only yesterday and the ground was still damp? Idiot. At least he wasn't wearing stupid orange pants today and settled for black, a normal color.

"Hey, come on. I get detention a lot, too, and we're friends."

"You only get detention because you're an idiot."

"Better to be an idiot then some moping goodie-two shoes that doesn't even have a girlfriend."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched, and he pushed himself away from the flagpole.

"Just for that, I'm going home. Later, fuckwit!"

Girlfriends. That's what it always came back to, huh? Sasuke already had more than enough to digest today. This was the first time today that his mind actually wasn't spinning from the discussion he'd had with Sakura earlier. He liked to think that nothing would come of it, that she'd keep his secret and they'd be cool. If not she'd gossip behind his back and he'd have to refute anything she said, not to mention he'd have to tell another girl to fuck off. It was pain in the ass to deal with either way, though, and it'd be nice when this little piece of his life was done and people stopped giving his personal life any thought. Oh how he wished.

* * *

Sasuke was walking away, and Naruto needed him there. The plan was already ruined and Sasuke hadn't even gotten a chance to meet Gaara yet. No, no, no! It couldn't just end like this. Naruto thought that he was just feeding into the banter with only the usual bullshit. It wasn't very often that he or Sasuke actually managed to say that special something that was actually hurtful. Why did it have to happen today of all days? Before he could forget he played the last things he said over in his head. What the fuck? Goodie-two shoes didn't typically bother Sasuke, nor was he sensitive about his penchant for looking like the most miserable fuck on the planet. He liked to think it repelled girls or something, or did Naruto just assume that?

Then it hit him.

"_... moping goodie-two shoes that doesn't even have a girlfriend."_

"_... doesn't even have a girlfriend."_

"_... girlfriend." _

"_... You gay or something?"_

"Shit. Fuck. Naruto, you idiot," he whispered to himself, and gave himself a few knuckles on the head. Sometimes he actually did realize why his mom claimed that he was born with his foot in his mouth. "Sasuke! Come back, I'm sorry!"

Sasuke was still within earshot, and much to Naruto's relief he did stop, but he didn't turn around. His hands were in the pockets of his Patriots jacket and his hair whipped around in the wind. He waited long enough for Naruto to catch up with him, and then he resumed walking home.

"Did you even hear me?" Naruto said, grabbing his friend's shoulder. "I said I was sorry!"

"And I said I was going home. Goodbye." He shrugged Naruto's hand off and took another step forward.

"OK, so I'm stupid, and I was wrong, and I can eat shit and go to hell. What do you want from me? Come on!"

"What do _I_ want?" said Sasuke, finally turning to face Naruto. His face fell into a livid scowl, and he gave Naruto a shove. "I want you, no, _everyone_ to mind their own fucking business. Stop talking at me about girlfriends and telling me that I'm gay."

"I never told you you were gay!"

"You might as well have!"

"What the fuck are you so angry about? I don't even care if you're gay or not!"

"Then quit bringing it up!"

"You're bringing it up!"

"Hate to interrupt, but you two have an audience," said Gaara out of nowhere, just as Sasuke rose his fist to punch Naruto. Both of them snapped out of their shouting match, and were quite embarrassed when they realized a good deal of sixth graders who were walking home stopped to watch it. Naruto and Sasuke flipped them off, and they resumed walking. Some of them were even giggling. God help them if they walked over and started asking questions, or making taunts. Sasuke was angry enough to kill someone.

"H-hey Gaara, what's up?" said Naruto, grinning and laughing weakly. He could feel Sasuke attempt to retreat behind him, so he grabbed his arm before he could take off and yanked him forward. "This is my friend Sasuke. Sasuke, Gaara. Gaara, Sasuke."

"If you don't let go of me I'm going to bite off your hand," said Sasuke, in complete disregard of Gaara's presence. Gaara didn't seem to mind. He was really laid back like that.

"Quit bitching already. You sound like you belong on some trashy reality TV show."

"Like the ones that you watch with your mom?"

"I told you, the bathroom was flooded upstairs at the time and mom wouldn't let me change the channel."

"Well maybe your bathroom wouldn't get flooded if you didn't play in the toilet."

"I haven't done that since I was five!"

"You're disgusting. Furthermore, you're dumb as shit."

"Yeah, well you're a whiney douche."

"Ladies," said Gaara in a chastising tone, once again putting the brakes on their bickering. His arms were crossed and he was glaring at them. Naruto had let go of Sasuke's arm and Sasuke stopped attempting to leave. Both of them were glaring daggers at this third person whose presence was of questionable necessity. Both of them were so riled up that they'd all but completely forgotten that Gaara was the reason they were meeting after school today. "Sorry. That's how I get my brother and sister to stop fighting. Works every time."

"... I don't like him," said Sasuke.

"You don't like anyone," said Naruto, rolling his eyes. Then he turned toward Gaara. "Sorry about all this, man. He and I actually do get along, uh, most of the time anyway."

"I can tell," said Gaara, his tone suggesting nothing, though Sasuke took it as sarcasm.

"Who asked you?" Sasuke snapped.

"Naruto. He wanted me to meet you, and you're making a hell of a first impression."

"I wasn't put on this earth to impress you."

"Oh, for fucks sake," said Naruto, taking a clump of Sasuke's jacket into his fist. "If you're just gonna be the stereotypical raging ice queen on her period then go home and choke on Ben & Jerry's while you cry in front of _Titanic_ with _your_ mom."

"You two should get married," said Gaara, observing them with an expression as impartial as one you'd expect him to use while shopping for lawn chairs. Of course, such a statement didn't mean so little to either of them, and they were both shifting their eyes toward him and then nothing like no one on the planet could possibly be a more horrible person. Also, they were both blushing, and Naruto snatched his hand away from Sasuke's jacket and wiped it off on his pants for good measure. "Now that you both agree that you hate me, let's take this somewhere more private."

* * *

Gaara started walking toward his house, and much to his surprise both members of the once harping duo actually followed him. They were no longer arguing. Most of the way they kept to a mutual, unspoken oath of silence, which was nice while it lasted. After all, it gave Gaara plenty of time to think about what he'd just seen and organize his thoughts over it.

Sasuke was someone Gaara had seen in passing a few times, he just never had a name. Like with girls, Sasuke stood out in the crowd to Gaara because he was a shining beacon of a pretty boy. It was hard not to notice. He always struck Gaara as the cool and quiet type, and he looked like he spent his fair share of time exercising with respectable muscle tone peaking through his clothes. He had plenty of hair to grab in the back, and plenty to run his fingers through in the front. It framed a face Gaara couldn't possibly rate any lower than damn gorgeous, despite being a little too effeminate for his personal tastes, but whatever. Gaara would concede that Sasuke was hot overall, and he could have almost anyone he wanted, male, female, whatever, if he'd tear down the mile high wall that he'd built over himself. Despite how attractive he was he definitely wasn't Gaara's type either, so that made the deal with Naruto more difficult.

Sasuke was an obvious closet case to Gaara. He'd caught their argument right in the beginning, and deduced that Naruto had plenty of reason to believe that his friend was gay just from the one fight. Sasuke didn't deny it, it was a sore spot, and quite frankly there was a lot of fire roaring beneath their bickering.

Naruto, Gaara suspected, was also a closet case; however, Naruto was convinced that everything he was trying to do was just for Sasuke's benefit, and he would keep telling himself that. He probably even believed it. Gaara thought it was bullshit, well, maybe not entirely. More like his conscious logic was selective, omitting certain parts he didn't want to consider. Basically he wanted this whole thing to be as not weird as possible, but he was forcing the issue. There was more to it than either of them realized, and they were both too stupid and full of themselves to figure it out.

Somehow Gaara, who had never even heard of either of these boys until yesterday, got sucked right into it. Eh. Might as well stick with it and see where it goes. He had nothing better to do with his life besides inhale caffeine, ogle cute guys, and play video games.

Yesterday when Neji Hyuuga told him that some tan blondie named Naruto was asking for him, Gaara thought he might have a potential boyfriend on his hands. Instead, he was the mediator between two pig-headed seventh graders who were so frustratingly gay for one another and didn't even goddamn realize it, or refused to. He at least liked one of them enough to want to help out, and that one definitely wasn't Sasuke, except Sasuke did have one foot out of the closet already by the sounds of it. Also, Gaara did want to grab that hair, if nothing else. Mmm. Hair. He had a repertoire of naughty fantasies to work on for his own personal business. That hair would part of it, he decided.

"Where are we going? We've been walking for almost a half an hour," said Sasuke, just as they were on Main Street. This was where the library and the pawn shop were, not to mention a Dunkin Donuts. The streets were all angled awkwardly on hills with confusing signs, which was why Sasuke's parents hated driving on these roads. Sasuke didn't get to go to the library as much as he would have liked to because of it, but perhaps he could take his bike up here. He'd never considered it, seeing as his mom would flip shit if she found out, but it wasn't like he had to tell her. There was a lot he wasn't telling her these days.

"My place," said Gaara. "It's only two blocks away from here."

"Holy shit, you have to walk all this way, even in the rain?" said Naruto.

"And the snow, and the ice. Blistering heat, too. Beats taking the bus."

"Yeah," said Sasuke, and both Gaara and Naruto gave him a puzzled look. It was the first time he had ever said anything to Gaara that could almost pass for nice.

The trio crossed the street and climbed a steep hill, and somewhere along the chain of nameless stores a familiar sign in pink and orange popped up, and Gaara headed for its doors. "I'm hitting up Dunkin. You guys want anything? My treat."

"Hell yeah donuts. Boston cream!" said Naruto. "And if they don't have it, make it a strawberry frosted one. With sprinkles if they have it."

"Always with the sprinkles,' said Sasuke, rolling his eyes. Naruto just ignored him.

"You want anything, Sasuke?" Gaara asked, and Naruto nudged him in the shoulders.

"No thank you."

"All right."

Naruto and Sasuke waited outside together for Gaara, watching terrible drivers trying to maneuver this two-way street that should have actually been a one way street, but shit just didn't get fixed in this part of town, and not a whole lot made much sense. Not in any way that meant anything to irate taxpayers like Sasuke's dad.

"I'm really sorry about what I said earlier," said Naruto, though he wasn't looking at Sasuke. They tended to not look at one another when apologies were in order, few and far between as they were.

"You should be," said Sasuke. He figured he should say more, though not exactly sure what. He wasn't sorry for anything, but if he owed any sort of apology then his presence should have sufficed. After all, he was dead serious about going home earlier. "Gaara's OK. At least he's not loud like you."

"Hey, come on. Why are you tearing into me so much today? If you have a problem, just say it."

"I did, or did you forget already?"

"Of course I didn't forget. I-hold on, that's my phone."

Naruto dug his cell phone out of his pocket and answered it. It was Hinata, of course. Sasuke may or may not have ground his teeth a little at this, but even if he did it wasn't like he was about to admit it. It was just cold out, and when Gaara came back out Sasuke noticed that he was wearing a thin form fitting long-sleeved shirt with no jacket, and he had even ordered an iced coffee. What the hell was wrong with this guy? It was almost the end of October for fucks sake, and it was windy! Naruto thanked him for the donut and resumed his chat with Hinata until they reached Gaara's front door. Naruto made it very clear what a complete bastard Sasuke was being today. In fact, most of his end of the conversation revolved around Sasuke, which was a fact that escaped the attention of neither Gaara, nor Sasuke, though the two had very different thoughts on this.

"Hehe, I love my girl. She's so perfect," said Naruto with a sunny grin after hanging up the phone.

_Oh please_, Gaara and Sasuke both thought, but didn't say.

"Welcome to my humble abode," said Gaara, unlocking the front door. His home wasn't on a particularly great side of town, and it was one section of a decrepid looking old house converted into a triplex that his dad owned and rented out. It was white with dark green trim, and there were bags and bags of raked leaves along the perimeter, though there were still more leaves all over the ground. _Have fun with that, Kankuro._

"Is it haunted?" Naruto just had to ask, not that Sasuke wasn't sort of thinking the same thing. His cousin Shisui lived in a similar sort of place. A few years ago, on the first and only time they spent the night there Itachi told him that there was a ghost and Sasuke refused to believe him. Still, he stayed up most of the night flinching at every crick and every crack and whistle and groan he'd heard anyway. It definitely wasn't a ghost, but it was still weird. There was no freakin' way, but Sasuke refused to spend the night at cousin Shisui's apartment ever again anyway. If anyone asked, it was too cold and too loud there. The only one that ever asked was Itachi, the weaver of ghost tales. His older brother could be such an asshole sometimes.

"It could be, if Temari and Kankuro finally managed to kill each other," said Gaara, heading inside. It would seem that Gaara also had asshole siblings. Huh.

He motioned them in, and lead them through a dark hallway. Naruto's foot caught on something and he grabbed Sasuke's sleeve, and Sasuke didn't complain when his friend didn't let go. Why the hell couldn't Gaara turn on a light? Not everyone had night vision like he supposedly did, and he didn't like the way the floor was creaking.

Gaara turned the key in another door, and this time it lead them into an actual apartment. It was a relief to see some light.

"Hey," said Gaara, talking to a blond girl behind a laptop on the kitchen table. He guessed this was Temari. Sasuke could see his parents sneering at this already. This girl was sitting around in a sport's bra and a short skirt. Naruto was staring, and Sasuke elbowed him.

"Which one's your boyfriend?" she asked, referring to Sasuke and Naruto. Naruto's lip upturned, and Sasuke gave him a furious look that froze his insides. He was already starting to put the pieces together, and he wasn't happy about it.

"Neither, but you can keep Naruto occupied. I want to talk to you alone, Sasuke."

"And if I refuse?" said Sasuke, fingering the phone in his pocket. This was a set up. He should have known Naruto was up to something weird. He was a troublemaker, though, but this was going way too far. Sasuke had to get out of there. He could call-no. His mom was working tonight, and dad wouldn't do it because he threw out his back again. Shit. He had to hope Itachi wasn't busy then, but since it was Friday he was probably hanging out with Nagato and Konan smoking pot, or some stupid shit. If it was a big enough emergency Itachi would come no matter what, and some gay kid he'd just met wanted to speak to him. Alone. So it was obviously an emergency.

"Just do it," said Naruto. "He came over my house yesterday and we talked for hours. Gaara's a really cool guy, and I think we'd all be good friends if you'd give him a chance."

"I don't know what you're up to, Naruto, but when I find out your ass is mine."

"Oh my," said Temari, smirking up at them. They paid her no heed, except for Gaara who was motioning for her to keep her mouth shut. Naruto was all too eager to plop himself down beside an attractive high school girl who was half-dressed and had just buffered an action flick on Youtube. She even offered him a cup of instant noodles that she'd just heated up, and he was practically swooning. If only Hinata the perfect could see him now. Idiot.

As for Sasuke, he begrudgingly followed Gaara into his room, which was a very cramped space with black walls, matching shades, and whose primary light source was a long string of Christmas lights hung all around the ceiling. There were posters of movies, bands, video games, anime, a Dunkin' Donuts calendar with the coupons clipped out, a Vault soda advertisement, and the occasional half-naked guy. Gaara seemed to have a thing for tan skin, blonde hair, and bulging everything, and Sasuke didn't like it. He felt claustrophobic in this room. His was at least twice as big. Even Naruto's was bigger. Speaking of Naruto, oh, he was dead. So. Very. Dead.

Around his bed Gaara managed to fit one vertical dresser, one flimsy stand with a flat screen TV and an Xbox 360 underneath the stand. Then he noticed a small bookcase that contained many titles Sasuke was familiar with, and that calmed him a bit. They were mostly vampire novels, and he couldn't help but snort when he found _'Salem's Lot_ shelved between something he didn't recognize and _Twilight_.

"I don't think Stephen King would appreciate his work being crammed beside that crap," said Sasuke. Books were a topic he was comfortable with. Would talking about books suffice?

Gaara shrugged. "Jacob's hot, so Stephen King can get over it."

That wasn't what he had in mind.

"I'm turning on the TV. Sit with me."

Sasuke must have been expecting either some graphic slasher movie, or an explicit gay porno to suddenly pop up on Gaara's TV. Alas, it was only Spongebob. He sighed and sat beside Gaara on the bed, hoping perhaps that they could simply bond over what a terrible show this is and then go. Actually, Squidward's "I really wish I weren't here right now!" button was horrifyingly applicable to his current situation.

"Want me to change the channel?" Gaara asked.

"No," said Sasuke. Spongebob had seen him through the hard times, loath as he was to admit it.

"Good. I like this episode."

So they sat in silence and watched Spongebob for a bit. It was very, very awkward, mostly for Sasuke. Gaara was just impressed that Sasuke hadn't tried to run away yet. His bed wasn't particularly large, nor was it comfortable, but his dad was too much of a forgetful cheap ass to do anything about it, so Gaara took to sleeping in class and during detention mostly. Besides, when 2AM rolled around _Mass Effect_ wasn't going to play itself.

"Why did Naruto want me to meet you? Be honest," said Sasuke.

"Why do you think he wanted you to meet me?"

"Oh no, don't think you can just dodge the question. Unlike him, I'm not stupid."

"No, you're not stupid, but you are causing yourself a lot of unnecessary trouble."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Figure it out, genius."

"I will once you answer my fucking question!"

Gaara was sick of talking. He wanted hair, so he shoved both hands right into Sasuke's strange and wondrous mane and kissed him hard.

Sasuke's mind was a buzz with a string of _fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_ and not much else. His lungs were robbed of breath. His limbs were frozen. Spongebob was laughing on the television. _I thought you were on my side!_ he thought, which was absurd, but then again what wasn't anymore? There was a weird eighth grade goth kid Naruto plucked out of nowhere molesting his scalp and trying to make out with him. Exactly which part of this was supposed to make sense? What was he supposed to do? He just... what.

This wasn't like Sakura's kiss. The difference was that, no matter how badly he wanted to be disgusted, he wasn't. He wasn't even surprised. As soon as Gaara's sister opened her mouth it all came together. Naruto wasn't trying to push girls on Sasuke now. He was trying to push _guys_ on Sasuke, but why? What if he didn't want to be gay? Why couldn't he just be nothing?

When Gaara pulled away, Sasuke licked his lips and realized that he wanted more, and he'd be damned if he didn't get it after all the trouble he'd been through.

"Enjoy this while it lasts, because it's the only time," said Sasuke, and he was the one who initiated the next kiss, and goddamn was Gaara rough. He went right back to the hair, threading his fingers through the bangs and practically pulling at it, then he and Sasuke opened their mouths and holy shit there were tongues. Sasuke was just a complete mess off feelings and sensations. His stomach was tight, his heart was pounding, his head was fog, and he couldn't fucking ignore how stiff various sensitive areas had become. Every inch of him was on fire. He didn't care who this was now, just that he was male and their mouths were glued together. Sasuke loved it. He loved it still when Gaara's fingers left the hair to explore hips, thighs, and fuck-yes-nipples. He loved it when Gaara's lips, tongue, and teeth played with his ear, his jaw, holy fuck his neck. Sasuke knew when he was aroused, but he never knew it could be like this.

And then reality smacked him once Gaara decided that he'd had his fill. After that, there was no way he could deny how completely, mindblowingly awesome that was. He kissed a guy and he fucking loved it.

But just what the hell was he supposed to do about it now?

"I'm glad we're on the same page. You're hot, but you're really not my type," said Gaara, turning his attention back toward the television. He changed the channel because Spongebob was over. "Why don't you go see what Naruto's up to?"

"Oh, I will," said Sasuke, straightening out his shirt and his hair. He plucked his jacket off of the floor where Gaara told him to put it and threw it on. He didn't want what had just happened to be obvious in the least. "He's dead."

"Be nice. He cares about you."

"Shut up," was all Sasuke had to say about that as he shut the door behind Gaara.

**TBC **


	10. In Which Rules Are Established

In Which Rules Are Established

* * *

Sasuke wandered into Gaara's empty living room, a room buried in magazines, newspapers, soda bottles, various articles of clothing in questionable states of clean, including what he guessed was Temari's underwear, unless pink, lacy panties were Gaara's thing. They certainly weren't Sasuke's thing, and if he was gonna go through with this whole gay thing then he would do so on his own terms. Rule Number One: No cross dressing, especially not if it's pink.

Seriously, though. Not even Naruto's house was ever in this state of... immodest chaos. It was filthy, too. A lot of DVDs and knick knacks along shelves caked in dust, and there were a few framed pictures hanging crooked on the walls. Upon closer inspection he noticed an empty, crushed can of mountain dew on the couch, as well as ambiguous crumbs.

Luckily Sasuke had no problem standing. Standing is good. He didn't want to risk getting soda on his pants, or having bugs crawl on him, especially not cock roaches. Just imaging it made him want to puke. He turned his attention toward the window and noted that the sun was already going down. He pulled his phone out of the small frontal compartment of his backpack and saw the words "Missed Call" on the screen. His dad called not ten minutes ago. It was on vibrate, so he hadn't heard it while he was, well, in the midst of things. He suddenly noticed how hot his face still was, and it only got worse the more he thought about it.

Calling dad back wasn't a good idea. He would ask Sasuke why he didn't pick up his phone, where he was, doing what, with whom, and how and when he was coming home. He'd be extra cranky with his bad back, too. And what was Sasuke supposed to say? Something along the lines of "I didn't pick up because I was busy in a crappy downtown apartment playing tonsil hockey with some weird eighth grade boy who my so-called best friend thrust upon me, and I'll be home somehow in time for dinner" would blow over really fucking well with his dad. It would in much the same way Sasuke getting F's, playing _Call of Duty_ for twelve hours a day, and swearing in front of his devout Catholic grandmother would.

Rule Number Two: What dad doesn't know won't kill him, or Sasuke for that matter.

Sasuke tried to get in touch with Itachi, and all he got was voice mail. Then he texted Itachi. "I really need you. Call me," he sent, then waited. And waited. He glared down at the phone like it was offending him with its silence. Then he waited just a minute more. Then he contemplated calling a cab. Mom put it in his contacts in case of an emergency, which hadn't even occurred to him earlier because he'd never called a cab before. It was never an issue, until now, and dad could afford it, he hoped. Then again, dad wasn't one for unexpected expenses popping up. He'd complain about it all night at the very least, but was that really such a huge price to pay? Maybe he should call and ask first.

That is, until he felt something weird brush against his leg. Though it was silly he thought of giant cock roaches at first and could taste bile. This day. This fucking day. It was unrelenting.

"Kaz, where'd you go?" Naruto called out. He was right outside the room, snapping Sasuke from his grotesque mental images. His gaze swept toward his feet, and the thing that'd been tickling his ankle was... a chinchilla? Wait, no, it was a ferret. He was pretty sure. Sasuke wasn't too animal savvy. In all his life his family had owned exactly one cat, but Sasuke didn't remember. He was only two then, and Itachi was allergic to it, so they had to give it away. These days Itachi had it bad enough with the rabbits they got in their yard. Allergies practically bulldozed him come springtime, and fall was no cake walk either. Mom was the same, to a lesser extent. Sasuke's allergies were far more manageable than theirs, though he suspected that they'd get worse with time, which was just his luck.

"Hey Sasuke, looks like you made a friend," said Naruto, who bent down to pick up the elongated creature. "Meet Kaz, Temari's amazing bouncing ferret."

"Hello Malfoy," said Sasuke, now that he was absolutely certain that it was a ferret.

"That's Kaz to you, Sassy-pants!" said Naruto in a high-pitched voice while waving the ferret's paw at him. It's a wonder that the damn thing didn't bite him, though Naruto had an affinity toward animals. He was pretty animal-like himself, mostly in that he had the mind of a worm, and was about to be crushed like one. Sasuke hadn't forgotten for one second what this asshole pulled.

"OK _Kaz_." Sasuke was smirking now. This couldn't end well. "Did you know that the last man to call me 'Sassy-pants' met an untimely death by strangulation?"

Sasuke whipped his arm around Naruto's neck and locked it in a choke hold. The ferret hopped out of Naruto's arms and scurried off, freeing his hands to pull at the arm restricting his air flow. It wouldn't do him any good, since Sasuke was the more physically fit of the two. Sure, Naruto claimed to get plenty of exercise. Perhaps from running away from his mom when he pissed her off, which was admittedly a daily occurrence, but Sasuke had a better routine, and weight lifting was part of it.

"Say uncle, you prick."

"Gah... fuh... oowwa-f-fff..."

"Excuse me? What?"

"Fuh... huk... yuu..."

"Better hurry up and say uncle. You're turning awfully blue."

At that Sasuke heard two sharp claps from behind him, distracting him from his suffocating friend.

"Cat fight's over, ladies. Your ride's here," said Temari, leaning against the doorway. She appeared far more decent now in pajama bottoms and hoodie the color of baby lotion. Always with the damn pink these girls, but at least she wasn't in her underwear anymore. Temari and Gaara both had a striking lack of shame, and Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if the elusive third sibling was the same way. Probably, given the state of their home. And what about the dad? Or mom? Was there a mom? Sasuke couldn't imagine any parent in their right mind being OK with these living conditions, or the way these people behaved. What the absolute fuck?

He shoved Naruto away, allowing the idiot to take a much coveted gasp of air. Before Naruto could collect his bearings Sasuke had already bounded toward the door. The hall between the apartment and the exit was now conveniently lit, and littered with more plastic bottles. These people were rolling in a potential sea of nickels, if any of them had enough sense to take the damn bottles to the grocery store and get them. Sasuke suspected not. Sense and all the damn people in his life at the moment did not go together. Where the hell was Itachi? Fuck.

Come to think of it, what did Temari mean by ride, anyway? Who was their ride? Hopefully not the elusive third sibling, or the obviously neglectful dad. Sasuke didn't want to know any more of them. The Sabaku family were demons from hell, the lot of 'em! Of that he was certain. Then his mind had to go and remind him that he'd been sucking face with Satan's son not too long ago, and he swatted away the mental image. It was over. Done! Moving on now.

"You could have killed me, you stupid fuck!" Naruto belted, charging toward the irate teen. He tackled Sasuke right into the grass and attempted pin him down, but Sasuke managed to writhe out of his grasp and get back on his feet.

"Let's go, damn it! Dinner's on, and your father's hopeless at minding the pasta," said Kushina from the side of the road. Sasuke supposed that meant both of them, not that he really cared to spend another second in Naruto's company. He was confused, pissed off, tired, and now his favorite jacket was muddy. And he probably had leaves in his hair. He certainly had a pain in his ass, and not that kind of pain either. Oh geez.

Rule Number Three: Gay humor was to be ignored and forgotten at all times regardless of the source, especially if the source was himself.

Besides, he had more important things to think about.

"I'm going to murder your son, Mrs. Kushina" said Sasuke, climbing into the passenger side of Kushina's clunky Jetta. It took every ounce of willpower in his bones not to slam the door shut behind him.

"Need help hiding the body?"

"What the hell, mom?" said Naruto, climbing into the back. He had to push a big pile of junk out of his way just to have a place to sit. Kushina did not keep a very clean car these days, which got a wince out of Sasuke. He wanted to go home where it was clean and bathe for five hours. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"If Sasuke's gonna kill ya then ya probably did something to deserve it."

This is what Naruto got for meaning well, he supposed. Never again. "Thanks a lot, guys. I feel the love. In fact, it's all over my _crushed esophagus_."

"You wouldn't be able to complain if you had a _crushed esophagus_," said Sasuke, earning one kick to the back of his seat.

"Awrighty, both of you shut up for a minute. Gotta get out of here without killing us all," said Kushina as she fired up the ignition. When Bon Jovi blared through the speakers she turned it down to an utter, but not quite off because music was good for the soul. Downtown Farwell was scary enough during the day. Pulling out of a parallel parking space was scary enough during the day. Dealing with both at night sucked, especially with a pair of pissy adolescent boys in her car. No matter, though. It's just how they were. Besides, it was a Friday, so it was nice to see the boys out and about, and with their new friend, too. These times sure didn't last.

"Woo, we have achieved road!" She turned _Livin' On a Prayer_ back up, but not loud enough to drown out their voices. There was talking to do. "Do tell, sweetie. Like what did my problem child do this time?"

"Debauchery," said Sasuke, and offered no more.

"Fuck you!" said Naruto.

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Kushina yelled. They were at a stop sign, too, so it gave her a chance to reach back and smack his knee before turning. "If you don't clean up that filthy yap then you can tuck 'n roll, mister!"

"Sorry," he grumbled, not meaning it one bit.

"That's better. Anyway, like what is this about debauchery? You're barely out of diapers, both of you!

"At least that's what I should say. Now this mom is many things, but blind totally isn't one of them. I know what sort of trouble boys your age get into. You think I don't, but I do. Boy do I have stories about both your fathers."

"Mooom!" Naruto whined. For once Sasuke had to agree, because he wasn't terribly comfortable with the prospect of stories about his father.

"We're gonna have a little chat tonight, Naruto."

"No, that's quite all right," said Naruto. "Dad already had Uncle Jiraiya give me The Talk, remember?"

"That's what I'm afraid of," she said through her barred teeth. She loved Minato. Really, she loved her husband. He was so dear. Their marriage wouldn't have lasted twenty-two years and counting otherwise. He tried so hard. He was sweet and handsome and served his country. What's not to love? But sometimes he was incredibly, unforgivably dense, like with dinner, and making tactful decisions about their son's education on... certain topics. Her knuckles turned white against the steering wheel just thinking about it.

No one spoke for the rest of the ride, much to the boys' relief, all content to just sit back and half-listen to tunes that were big in the 80's. There wasn't enough revenge in the world that Sasuke could extract upon Naruto after today, though he supposed for now it was satisfying enough that Kushina would be tormenting him tonight. Embarrassing the boys was practically her hobby, but luckily for Sasuke he wasn't the one who lived with her. His own mom was bad enough with her nosiness, but she wasn't coming home until late anyway. If it was just him and his dad then all he had to do was take out the trash, give the man a can of beer, and disappear into his room until he was hungry, after he lied about what he was up to and why he didn't call, of course. There was still that essay to write, too. Homework was always a good distraction.

"Bon voyage, cutiepie," said Kushina once they reached Sasuke's house, and she even gave his cheek a pinch. "Hate to kick you out, but I gotta like jet before dearest hubs blows up the kitchen."

"... Right. Thank you for the ride." Sasuke wanted to ask her why Minato didn't just pick them up instead, but he knew where he wasn't wanted. He unbuckled, grabbed his pack, and stepped out. Naruto got out and hopped in the front seat without so much as sparing him a glance, which was fine since Sasuke didn't have anything to say to him anyway. Once Naruto buckled in that crazy woman tore away from the curb, and that car shot down the street like a rocket. And this was a school teacher, mind you. A school teacher Sasuke could potentially have class with someday. _Can you like solve for X, cutie patootie? Hugs and kisses if you get it right!_ _ A thousand lashes if you get it wrong! _ Yeah right. If she pulled that she could get pretty fuckin' fired, but somehow he still wouldn't put it past her.

Suddenly he noticed how cold it was out, so he headed inside.

"I'm home," said Sasuke, kicking off his shoes and shrugging off his muddy jacket at the door. "Dad?"

"Dad's asleep," said Itachi, walking out of the kitchen to greet Sasuke like it was nothing. The younger Uchiha practically snarled at the sight.

"You were home the whole time? What the fuck, I was trying to get in touch with you."

"My phone died. Hmm?" Itachi's brow twitched when he caught sight of something. He stretched his fingers out toward the collar of Sasuke's shirt and peeled it back to show the rest of a small, red bruise. Sasuke pushed his hand away and he snorted. "So that's what you were up to. I told dad that you were staying after school to study so he'd quit worrying and take his Vicodin."

Well, Itachi bailed him out of an annoying game of twenty questions, at least. Even so, the way Itachi had said all of that disturbed him.

"What do you mean 'that's what you were up to'?"

"You have a hickey, Sasuke. I'll get you an ice pack."

"You can't be fuckin' serious," said Sasuke, rushing through the kitchen toward the downstairs bathroom. He tossed his soiled jacket into the dirty laundry pile and pulled back his collar. Indeed there was a hideous red splotch the size of a quarter right above his collar bone. He was so pissed that he didn't even sense Itachi standing in the doorway with an ice pack in hand, who was trying very hard not to laugh. He did most of his laughing on the inside, but this was one of those things that really was that funny. His little Sasuke was growing up. Of course the inward snickers gave way to surprise when the next words to come out of Sasuke's mouth registered in his mind. "That sick sonofabitch. I'll fuckin' kill him."

"Him?" Itachi said, and the horror on Sasuke's face might have lead one to believe that Itachi had a loaded gun pointed between his eyes. He'd now been trapped by his older brother's curiosity, not to mention a very long stride toward his parents finding out. Shit. This couldn't possibly be happening. AGAIN. Once again he was in a situation where there was no immediate, feasible way out. It was maddening how everyone in his life seemed to just dig and dig and dig into him like he was their own person excavation site. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Why couldn't he get a damn break? The worst part was that he was so frozen now that he couldn't think of a lie on the spot convincing enough to throw Itachi off. The universe seemed determined to drive him completely crazy, and with that familiar ache in his chest it had finally worked.

Sasuke had really reached his limit. His mind shut down, and adrenaline blasted through his veins like poison. He was a cornered animal whose heart was ready to explode. He squeezed both sides of the sink basin, ducked his head down, and started hyperventilating. Itachi pocketed the ice pack in his hooded sweatshirt and threw his arms around his brother from behind.

"Don't touch me!" Sasuke snarled through labored pants and severe chest pain.

"Shh," said Itachi, tightening his hold. Sasuke swallowed, and in just a few short moments his breath gradually slowed. After all, it was his brother, who was sometimes just the right source of calm, as ironic as that was in this particular situation. Itachi was the one who'd triggered him in the first place, the damn fool. What Sasuke wouldn't give to just vanish into thin air at this very moment. He hated this. He hated everything and everyone. Fuck all! "I need you to slow down, OK? Relax. There's nothing to be upset about."

"What the fuck is wrong with you people?" Sasuke managed to say once his heart rate was back below light speed. His breath was still heavy, but he was able to take back control with relative ease.

"I'm not sure what's wrong with anyone else, but I have a severe case of loving and caring about my little brother no matter what."

"Yeah, it really shows in how you picked up your phone earlier," said Sasuke, shrugging Itachi's arms off. The two of them left the bathroom with a positively acidic silence between them. Sasuke's chest and stomach were in shreds. His face was hot. His head was in a painful buzz. There actually were leaves in his hair, which Itachi had pulled out for him. Sasuke didn't thank him.

If mom somehow managed to spot this fucking hickey she was going to murder him. He pressed the ice pack Itachi offered to the offending bruise and hissed at the stab of cold.

"I assume you don't want to talk about whatever happened with mom and dad, but just so that we're clear. Whoever gave you that hickey didn't... force himself upon you, did he?"

_It depends on how you define force_, Sasuke mused, though if he said anything to even suggest that he'd been violated then Itachi would go on a rampage. As amusing as that might be, Sasuke found that he just didn't hate Gaara enough to condemn him to such a fate. Not to mention his parents would probably find out about it. That had to be avoided at all costs.

"No. I let him do it."

"You let him," said Itachi, and something wicked had occurred to him to make him smirk. Sasuke couldn't stand that expression. "Was it Naruto?"

"What?!" Sasuke's incredible fluctuating heart rate took another shot into space, and the tightness in his everything did little to comfort him. No matter what he would not have a visual of himself and Naruto engaged in such... NO! "Hell no! Are you out of your mind?"

"Was it really such a terrible guess? It's not like I see you hang out with anyone else of your own volition."

Fair enough. Sasuke couldn't exactly deny that, and was trying very hard to ignore the impact that insinuation had.

Rule Number Four: Thou shalt not fantasize about thine best friend.

"If it wasn't Naruto then who was it?"

"Just some eighth grader. I made out with him twice. End of story."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"No, and he never will be."

"I see," said Itachi, who seemed fascinated by this new development in Sasuke's life. He was also relieved that Sasuke's short-lived affair with this nameless eighth grader was consensual. Although one thing that was frustrating about the younger Uchiha was how tight-lipped he was these days, not that Itachi had any right to complain. He was the same way at that age, minus homosexual activity. Still, Itachi found it disconcerting that Sasuke never talked about his problems. Itachi could pry more out of him than anyone, except maybe Naruto, but it wasn't like he and Naruto ever compared notes. Nobody had time for that, though the more Sasuke shut himself away in his little bubble, the more Itachi had to worry about. He couldn't help it. "How long have you known that you felt this way about boys?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Since today technically, but I think I sort of already knew all my life. All I knew for sure before today was that I don't like girls. Not like that."

"Mom's going to be upset when she finds out that you're not her little lady killer after all." The laid back amusement in Itachi's tone was enough to make Sasuke want to start tearing at his hair. There wasn't a single, solitary bit of this that he found funny.

"She doesn't need to find out, and neither does dad. Especially not dad." Sasuke's hand was growing numb against that ice pack, so he switched. This had better make the stupid thing go away, because he didn't own any turtle necks, and mom would wonder why he was bumming around the house in hoodies all weekend. She noticed things like that. Her attention to detail was a horrible thing sometimes. Normally in these situations he would seek refuge at Naruto's house, and come to think of it, since this was technically Naruto's fault Sasuke felt like he owed him. Then again, Sasuke didn't want to be any part of whatever talk Kushina promised to have with Naruto.

"You'll have to tell them eventually," said Itachi. "I can guarantee that it won't be as bad as you think."

"You can't possibly guarantee that. Besides, who are you to tell me how bad I think it'll be anyway?"

"Judging by the freak out you just had when I found out, I'd call a bad of nuclear proportions a pretty good guess."

"I had to put up with a lot of shit today. You finding out was just the final nail in the coffin."

"Whatever you say, little brother." The doorbell rang, and Itachi gave Sasuke's head a ruffle. "That should be our dinner."

Sasuke sat alone in the kitchen for a spell, assuming Itachi had ordered pizza or something. That was a normal Friday occurrence. Dad could cook if he felt like it, but he often didn't feel like it, particularly if his back was in bad shape. Mom was the same, but since she didn't work as much as Fugaku she felt obligated to do more of it. She was most fond of throwing together salads these days because they took all of two minutes to make and they were healthy. She'd even roast a chicken the night before just to add some bulk to the veggies. Sasuke and Itachi would eat them without complaint, mostly because they had to choose their battles with their parents wisely, and mom's salads weren't bad. The same couldn't be said for dad, though. He hated rabbit food. Mom and dad argued a lot these days about every little stupid thing. On top of Sasuke's utmost certainty that his parents wouldn't like the fact that he was gay, he also didn't want to bother them with his problems. They had enough of their own.

"Hiya, cuz. Long time no see," said Shisui, heading into the kitchen with one heavy paper bag. It smelled like grease, so it was probably Chinese food. Sasuke hadn't been a fan since the day he'd mistakenly eaten shrimp that wasn't supposed to be in his rice. He thought that stomach ache would never go away.

"Hey," said Sasuke. He felt relieved for the break in the previous conversation, though. To be quite honest he just wanted to go to bed. No more talk of girlfriends, boyfriends, parents, hickeys, and what have you. He just wanted to crawl into bed and pretend none of it ever happened.

"What's with the ice pack?"

"Nothing!" Sasuke stood up and walked toward the door, pressing the ice pack more firmly to his neck. "Excuse me. I'm going upstairs."

"There's an eggroll in this bag with your name on it, Sasuke. Come down when you get hungry, 'K?"

"Sure."

He'd almost walked right into Itachi on his way toward the stairs. They were just far enough out of earshot while Shisui was unloading their goldmine of MSG and stuff that was probably tainted by damn shellfish.

"Don't tell him anything," Sasuke whispered.

"Go to bed, Sasuke. You'll feel better in the morning," was all Itachi had to say to that. He gave his brother's shoulder a squeeze and joined Shisui in the kitchen. Sasuke headed upstairs to his room for a change of clothes. No matter how badly he wanted to flop into bed, a shower needed to come first. Too much of Gaara and his apartment still clung to his skin.

From the shower he could hear the muffled voices of his brother and cousin, but couldn't make out what they were saying beneath the hot spray. It wasn't that Sasuke didn't trust that his secret was safe with Itachi. Quite the contrary, Itachi could be secretive enough to put any agent of the CIA to shame. Now Sasuke knew a few funny things about Itachi that their parents didn't, like the fact that he smoked pot with Nagato and Konan, and he had a tattoo of an airborne raven between his shoulders. That wasn't what bothered him. It was all the stuff Sasuke didn't know that bothered him. Sometimes he swore he had no idea who his brother was, and the more time passed the more they seemed to drift apart. In fact, tonight was the first night they'd had an actual conversation in awhile. Also, Itachi would be transferring to uni this time next year. This was probably the last year they would ever live together.

Having considered that, Sasuke thought that maybe his little slip up wasn't so bad after all. Maybe Itachi knowing some of Sasuke's secrets would grant him access to some of Itachi's, and they could be closer. It was something to think about, but later. Sasuke toweled dry, dressed in the bathroom, and went back into his room. His eyes were heavy, and he didn't want to think about anything anymore.

Rule Number Five: No matter how catastrophic, sometimes you have to just let it be.

**TBC**


	11. Just Like That

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

Bill Watterson, _The Complete Calvin and Hobbes_

* * *

Just Like That

* * *

"Naruto, I... " said Hinata, with a small puff of smoke curling into the frigid December air from her chapped lips. Ever since Thanksgiving break Neji had lightened up in his chastity policing in favor of doing something else that he refused to discuss. Whatever it was that he was doing, it was better than cutting into Naruto and Hinata's relationship at every turn at least. They had almost reached their two month milestone, and Naruto thought of finally inviting her over to meet his parents to celebrate. She seemed happy with the idea just before Thanksgiving break, but now whenever he brought it up she would get all quiet, so he would change the subject. It was easy. After all, he had a lot to talk about, even more to complain about, and apparently he amused her either way. At least he used to.

He thought everything was fine up until a few days ago. Without Neji to snap at them, Naruto got to spend more time with Hinata. He walked her home every day for the past two weeks, and they held hands most of the way while they walked, only letting go once her house was in sight. For the past two or three days now she wouldn't take his hand when he offered it, and she didn't laugh or comment on any of his stories. The first day he'd just assumed that she was in a bad mood because she was on her period. He wouldn't know because he was too afraid to ask if that was it. But what if that wasn't it? This was something Uncle Jiraiya should have covered in his "absolutely everything you need to know about women" spiel from awhile back, and ironically enough his mom was even less help. Preaching the holy scripture of condoms almighty and their infinite uses had very little to do with the weird moods girls wound up in.

"What's up, Hinata? Is everything OK?"

She not only shook her head, but she looked like she was about to cry. Aww, crap. The only thing worse than making a girl cry was making a girl cry and not even knowing how he did it. He assumed it was his fault because here they were, embraced in awkward silence, a distinct distance, and only the backdrop of stores, stray trees, telephone poles, and Burger King on the horizon to keep them company. They'd stopped just outside of a foreclosed music store where there were no other pedestrians nearby, and Hinata uttered something that hurt him right away, though he wasn't sure he'd heard her quite right at first.

"What did you say?" Naruto said, surprised by the sting in his throat.

"We should... break up," she sobbed, and fat tears fell down her cheeks. This wasn't something that had even occurred to Naruto in her silent treatment. He figured if it was her period then he could offer to buy her chocolate with his allowance money. Hell, he would have even baked her brownies. That always cheered his mom up, but it's not like that mattered now. It had to have been something more serious if she was breaking up with him over it. For the love god what did he DO?! Why couldn't he remember upsetting her? This couldn't be happening.

"What? Why? Did I do something wrong? I didn't mean to, whatever it was. Can't we work this out, please?" Naruto's heart was racing and frantic, and any minute now he'd be crying just as much as she was and he didn't care. This wasn't fair. He thought things were perfect, and then out of the blue she was dumping him.

"It's... it's just best if we don't see each other anymore. I'm so sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, but I can't be your girlfriend anymore."

"Sure you can," Naruto insisted, though he knew it was in vain. She wouldn't even look at him. "What's this about? Can't you tell me?"

"Naruto," said Hinata, and finally she raised her head. "Father is having me transferred to a new school. I'll be gone by January."

"Is that all?" said Naruto, and it was like a million tons of weight broke from his chest. So it really wasn't his fault. "We don't have to break up over that, right? There's phones, and IM."

Hinata shook her head, and his hopeful face fell. "We don't spend much time together as things are now, and I know that bothers you. You should be with someone who you can spend time with. Someone who makes you happy. That's just not me."

"Hinata..."

"A-and I know that this is a touchy subject, but also I think that you and Sasuke should stop fi-"

"Don't mention that name!" Naruto snarled, and tears were rolling down his cheeks before he knew it. His tone had startled Hinata so much that she pushed him aside and ran. She cut across two cross walks without the light, and a flatbed truck slammed on the breaks and honked at her, but she just continued to run.

"Hinata!" Naruto thought that he ought to go after her, to make sure that she got home safely if nothing else, and to apologize for yelling of course; however, she couldn't have made it more clear that she didn't want his company anymore.

Great. Fan-_fucking_-tastic. Life just loved dealing him winning hands. First his best friend, now his girl. What's next? Would his mom rent his room out to some douche and make Naruto sleep in a dumpster? Between the fight and his bad grades she wasn't too happy with him these days, so it wouldn't surprise him.

Not too long after the whole Gaara fiasco Sasuke had gradually started avoiding him, favoring the company of Sakura Haruno, a former crush of Naruto's. Naruto confronted him about it, both the avoidance and why Sasuke shouldn't lead girls on, which he claimed that he wasn't, but Naruto decided that he didn't believe him because he was pissed. That's when the insults started to fly, and they weren't playful either. They twisted the knife.

The anger between them boiled well into the afternoon, and they'd run out of words on their way home from school. That's when their fists decided to take over. It was their first fight that landed them both in the emergency room. Naruto had to get stitches on his right cheek and Sasuke had to get his dislocated shoulder popped back into place. Of course their parents were furious, Kushina most of all. _"If Fugaku Uchiha didn't have a countersuit to contend with he totally would have dragged us to court! You keep your hands to yourself from now on, or I'll break 'em!"_ Well, it seemed her opinion of the Uchiha family only ran so high. Perhaps there was something to be learned, but he didn't, because he hated this. He hated these silent lulls between fights. This was the worst one by far, because it'd been over a month now since they'd spoken to each other. That's because it was totally Sasuke's fault and he should be the one to apologize.

Naruto was getting really sick of his shit. Why was Sasuke so angry all the time? Why couldn't he just relax and enjoy life like a normal person?

Hinata had some nerve suggesting that he patch things up with Sasuke, though he still felt bad for yelling. Any chance he had at salvaging that relationship died the minute he snapped at her, and he doubted he could take it back now. It seemed he wouldn't be seeing her around anymore, which was weird since they'd always been in school together. He supposed it made sense, them breaking up, because she was right. It did bother him that they spent very little time together. He thought things would get better with Neji's absence. Obviously he thought wrong, and there was no way to fix it. They do say that first love is doomed to failure, but why was it? Being dumped hurt so much. He never wanted to be dumped again.

"Agh, DAMN IT!" Naruto shouted into the sky, and there were probably people staring. He couldn't even begin to give a shit. Once he became more aware of his surroundings his attention went straight to Burger King, and he no longer had a girlfriend to spontaneously blow ten bucks on. How convenient. Perhaps enough burgers and fries would fill the holes inside of him that Sasuke and Hinata left behind. Those jerks. Who needs 'em?

* * *

Mikoto's Saturday started off well enough, seeing as she spent most of it away from the house. She'd finished her share of the Christmas shopping, never one to dawdle. Oh, sure, she missed a lot of good deals because of it, but the stress and the crowds just weren't her thing. The boys were so easy to shop for. Socks, underwear, Old Spice, razors, gift cards, done. Fugaku made more money, so he could buy the expensive fancy gadgets. In fact, he insisted upon it every time. Hmph, men and their silly pride.

She didn't have to worry about Christmas dinner because they'd be eating at grandma Uchiha's, which was stressful and annoying, but not costly, which was why Fugaku insisted they do it every other year. Mikoto didn't even have to worry about funding any sport-related endeavors for Sasuke. He had changed his mind about football right before try outs with no explanation, and for that she felt relieved. She supposed she'd gotten through to him about the dangers of contact sports after all, though somehow the abruptness of his decision to opt out didn't sit right with her. She hoped everything was all right, but he'd reached that frustrating age where he never wanted to talk about anything.

Well, that didn't matter today, she decided. She would worry herself into an early death at this rate. This year's Christmas was a cheap one, so she figured she should rejoice by indulging herself. Dr. Phil's wife always did tell women to take good care of themselves. Mikoto took that as her invitation to a nice mani-pedi at the nail salon, followed by an eyebrow waxing and getting her hair trimmed. She'd neglected her split ends long enough. She even bought herself a new coat for the winter.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd bought herself a new coat, but she sure seemed to buy a new one for Sasuke every year, among other new things. Itachi somehow managed to wear holes into most of Shisui's hand-me-downs and even some of his own clothes before they could make it to Sasuke. Just because they were resourceful didn't mean that they had to look like bums, so Sasuke got new clothes more than anyone. Boys were so difficult, because even gentle ones like Itachi were rough at times. Also, boys grew like weeds, but unfortunately that wasn't something that yelling at them could fix.

Oh well. She topped her indulgence off with a thin slice of cheesecake and a peppermint cappuccino from Staci's Cafe, the one cute coffee place in Farwell still standing after the invasion of Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks. It was in a nice area that wasn't congested, or full of low lives. That's why Mikoto was a regular there. She'd been coming by every Sunday with a book. Kushina joined her sometimes, but ever since that awful fight the boys had she'd kept her distance. Maybe if Fugaku didn't get on the phone and threaten to put Kushina's family out on the street they'd all be on speaking terms, at least. Sasuke's hospital bill wasn't that bad, and they did have insurance, so he'd gone way too far.

Still, at what point did fondness for an old friend and their son interfere with Mikoto's good parenting? Sasuke and Naruto had been friends for five years now, but they'd gotten into some real heated arguments and scuffles before. Frankly, "boys will be boys" was a silly way of thinking. Why should she be any less concerned for her child's safety just because Sasuke was a boy? Although she had to admit, if Sasuke were a girl she'd probably never let that Naruto anywhere near him again no matter whose son he was! Did Sasuke being a boy make her question keeping them apart, though? She at least liked to think not.

Sasuke was sensitive and confrontational. He spoke his mind when he felt that he needed to, and wasn't afraid to point out what he didn't like. Naruto was a loudmouth and reactive. Both liked to be right. Both liked to bicker. She didn't expect things to get this nasty, though, and Naruto wasn't a bad boy. Sasuke was just as much at fault, and he was punished for it. That was yet another reason Christmas was cheap this year. No good parent rewarded her kid's bad behavior. In fact, if Sasuke actually had joined that football team then she would have revoked the privilege. It was too bad she didn't get the satisfaction.

Once Mikoto got a taste of her cold espresso she realized that she had been lost in thought for far too long. Getting everything she needed at the grocery store was going to be a scramble, but she could manage. In happier news Itachi had invited a girl over for dinner. It was that Konan girl, though. The skinny one with the piercings. Mikoto could have sworn that Konan was Nagato's girlfriend, though Itachi seemed to be spending an awful lot of time out with her lately. Oh well, things do change. Mikoto aside, women under the Uchiha roof were a rarity, so she was looking forward to the occasion.

* * *

To say that dinner was a disaster was an understatement. That disaster was a frequent occurrence was where the problem was. It was a shame, because the food was actually good. Sasuke couldn't remember the last time they'd had a roast, and the smell of a home cooked meal was still dense in the air. It smelled like sweet lies. Without the shouting one might mistake this for a happy home judging by the smell alone.

For the rest of the evening the Uchiha household flooded with shouting. Itachi and Konan left the house none the worse for wear, as far as Sasuke knew. Dad didn't like girls like her, because she had a lip piercing, wore a lot of make up, and was a vegan. Sasuke suspected the vegan bit was where Fugaku drew the line. Mom tried so hard to make Konan feel welcome by making extra vegetables, but was overtaken by what had become her default, which was arguing with her husband. Sasuke felt comfortable with exactly none of it and tried to concentrate on finishing dinner as quickly as he could. Then mom asked him when he'd be bringing a girl home, and before he could say anything dad chipped in about "always having to feed other people's kids." That's when mom lost it.

Fugaku and Mikoto were still hollering at each other in the kitchen, and things were being slammed. Sasuke was, as usual, alone. First he disappeared into his room, which was right above the kitchen, so not even music on his iPod cranked to max drowned them out completely. Sasuke had given up on ignoring them. In times like these they didn't pay attention to where their sons were, so Sasuke threw on some shoes and his coat and headed out the door. Just because he was grounded didn't mean he should have to put up with this shit.

The rush of cold nipped at his cheeks. Winter had come too early for Sasuke's liking. It always did. There was snow somewhere in the forecast, and Christmas was only two weeks away, not that Sasuke cared. Sasuke tried to tell dad not to bother, because he didn't want anything but socks, underwear, and an iTunes voucher. Actually, the real thing he didn't want was for the guy to bitch about maxing out his credit card for the holidays. He was cheap every day of the year but Christmas, then overdid it on Christmas when no one asked him to. The third or fourth time Sasuke had pointedly insisted that he wanted nothing, dad said that he would get him an Amazon Kindle. The last thing Sasuke wanted was to read books on a screen. Fuck the rain forest, he liked actual books. Of course dad wouldn't listen, though, but that was a given.

Sasuke wandered down the hill a few blocks away from his house with no real destination in mind, and no concept of when he'd return home. One of these days that "when" would become more of an "if," and it'd come a lot sooner than when he turned eighteen at this rate. There was nowhere to go, but if he found living under a bridge to be preferable at any given point then all bets were off. If he did manage to run away...

That train of thought died the moment someone pulled up next to him. This startled him. He didn't want to grant the source of those high beams any of his attention, but if it was a neighbor and he ran they might tell his parents.

"Do you need a ride?" asked a pale middle-aged man with funny-looking make up. Sasuke didn't get what it was about this person, but an uncomfortable chill shot up his spine. He had to get out of here. Would this person chase him if he ran? He couldn't accept the ride no matter what, and he really wanted to be alone. Besides, if his parents learned of their baby getting into cars with strangers, especially on nights where he was grounded, they would lose their minds. On second thought, the prospect was tempting. After all, Itachi seemed to enjoy giving them gray hairs these days. Why should Sasuke have to be their perfect little angel?

"No, thank you," said Sasuke, despite the temptation. No amount of issues with the parents made this guy any less creepy. _Just go away. Go away. Go on. Get the fuck out of here already!_

Thankfully he did. Once that man's car was out of sight Sasuke let out a breath that he'd been holding. That could have been some serious _Dateline_ shit. Perhaps running away wasn't in his best interest, unless he could get himself a pocket knife, or a gun. Or at least some mace. No matter how girly that sounded, as long as it was effective it didn't really matter. Has Sasuke ever mentioned that he hates people?

"Are you all right, Sasuke?" said Minato, who had jogged up to him from four houses down. Sasuke hadn't given any thought to which direction he had chosen to go in, but when he looked up at the blue sign that read "Whirlpool St." he silently cursed to himself. He should have gone the other way, because the one person Sasuke didn't want to think or know about lived on this street, and right now that person's father was squeezing his shoulder and trying to get his attention. Life was a sadistic bastard that got off on cruelty, it seemed.

"Fine," Sasuke lied. Nothing was fine. It never was.

"That's good." Minato used the hand on his shoulder to push him forward and Sasuke shrugged it off. "Come on, I can't let you stay out here."

"Yeah, I got it!" He knew when he was caught. He didn't need to be treated like a damn baby about it. The best he could hope for now was that he'd get a ride home from one of Naruto's parents, and that they wouldn't tell his parents. Maybe he'd want to stay if he and Naruto didn't technically hate each others' guts at the moment. Yeah, that might be a problem. There was no way Kushina and his dad were on good terms either. He'd heard that phone call. How could he not? He was stuck at home with his parents all the damn time. Sasuke had come to terms with the fact that, even if he felt like forgiving Naruto, their parents were just going to get in the way, so it wasn't really worth it.

That's what he thought, until he walked into that house for the first time in what felt like forever. Kushina was on the couch with a bag of gummi bears watching _Wipe Out_, at least until she looked up.

"Sasuke! Oh." Sasuke didn't know what to expect. A slap in the face maybe. Perhaps demanding to know why he would put her baby in the hospital. He wouldn't put it past her to kick him out, or even call the police.

As usual, Kushina managed to surprise him every time. Sasuke was frozen in place when she wrapped her arms around him, and her red hair tickled his cheek. He was just about the height of her shoulders now. How about that?

"How's your shoulder, sweetie? Is everything OK? You look so sad."

"I'm fine."

"No one who says they're fine is ever fine!" Kushina took him by both shoulders and pushed him into the kitchen. This was annoying, but even if he shrugged her off she'd just do something worse, like fling him over her shoulder and carry him. He had to deal with it. Besides, she was right. He wasn't fine at all.

But that didn't mean he had to talk about it.

She sat him at the kitchen table littered with Sudoku puzzles, text books, and what he guessed was a manilla folder with graded tests stashed away. Every room in the house was Kushina's work station, but the kitchen was her favorite because of the Keurig. She was babbling about hot chocolate and hot apple cider until the phone rang. It was on the kitchen wall behind where Sasuke was sitting, and it didn't take him long to figure out who was on the other line.

"He's sitting at my kitchen table. We were about to... uh huh... yes dear, I know... OK.

"Mom's on the phone, sweetie. She wants to talk to you."

Sasuke sighed. He'd hoped that he could avoid the inevitable for at least a couple of hours, but he never had that kind of luck. To make matters worse, the moment he got up he looked toward the open doorway, and none other than Naruto stood there and stared like he was looking at a ghost or something. They said nothing, and Sasuke took the phone from Kushina.

"Hello," said Sasuke.

"Do you know how much trouble you're in right now?" said mom, her voice having run ragged from too much yelling. "You know you're not supposed to leave the house, and it's dark out!"

"I don't care."

"ExCUSE me?"

"STOP YELLING!" Sasuke hollered into the receiver. "I'm sick of the sound. It's all I ever hear from you."

"Who do you think you are?!" Sasuke pulled his ear away from the phone. She was loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. "Your father and I were worried sick about you because you decided to run off, and you have the nerve to bark orders at me?"

"You and dad only care about being at each others' throats. Neither of you give a damn about how I feel." Sasuke slammed the phone back on the wall, and noticed three sets of eyes staring at him like none of them knew what to say. Naruto was probably still stuck on what Sasuke was doing there in the first place. Kushina had her hand raised like she meant to either slap him, or draw him into another hug, but thought against both. Minato looked like he felt sorry for him, coughed, then wandered away awkwardly. That just burned. Sasuke Uchiha never wanted a soul on this planet to feel sorry for him. His life couldn't possibly be that shitty.

Then the phone rang again. Three guesses who that was, and the first two don't count.

"I-I'll talk to her, sweetie. Like go into the other room and watch TV with Naruto until you cool off, yeah?"

"Sorry I slammed your phone," said Sasuke, his way of thanking her for facing Hurricane Mom in his stead. Not that Sasuke wanted any battles fought for him, but it was hard enough giving his mom a piece of his mind for once. Also, he wanted to at least pretend that she wasn't screeching. This was probably the most embarrassing moment of his life. It was certainly surreal being surrounded by all these people watching the delicate fabric of his life being torn at the seams. It always had to be Naruto, too. Naruto had gotten way too involved in the daily dysfunction that was Sasuke's life. It was annoying. Could a man not have his secrets?

Though to be fair, this wasn't one Naruto went fishing for, so Sasuke couldn't even be mad at him about it.

"What was that all about?" said Naruto, the first one to flop on the couch. He helped himself to his mom's gummi bears and opened up On Demand, probably raiding it for _South Park_ episodes. It wasn't Sasuke's idea of quality entertainment, but since his mom strongly disapproved of it he couldn't think of better background noise.

"Not even gonna ask me why I'm here?"

"I was getting to it. But seriously, what's up with your mom? I've never heard her yell like that before."

"I told her that I was gay," said Sasuke, the words having flown from his mouth before giving them any thought. It was a convincing enough lie, and not all that far from how he'd expect her to react anyway. Or worse, she'd be obnoxiously supportive all in the name of throwing it in dad's face, like she did with Konan. Dad didn't like things outside of his narrow scope of normal, and mom didn't like him, so it made perfect sense. Either way it fucked Sasuke over royally, and there was nothing he could do about it besides hate everyone and be done with it.

"Oh," said Naruto, and his face fell. Of course the casual, sarcastic tone would go over his head. For all the trouble Sasuke went through he was tempted to let Naruto stew in his little lie, but tonight was a night already filled to the brim with petty nonsense, and it left a bad taste in Sasuke's mouth.

"It was a joke, Naruto. I didn't tell her shit. She's only pissed because I left the house."

"Wha-oh, you complete dick!" Naruto punched him the arm.

"Watch it, you already fucked that arm up once."

"Cry me a river. At least you won't have this on your face for the rest of your life," said Naruto, jabbing a thumb toward the long cut on his right cheek. It was still healing, but would most likely leave a scar. Sasuke made a point to not even look at Naruto for the past month or so, so he hadn't had a chance to get a good look. All he remembered from that day was a lot of blood, that horrible pop that his shoulder made, and being sick to death of Naruto. This idiot meddled in his life way too much and it needed to stop.

"It's an improvement," was all Sasuke had to say about the gash.

"Yeah, sure. It's such an improvement that Hinata dumped me over it."

"I thought it was because she was changing schools."

"It's... wait, how did you know about that?"

"Sakura told me. They're friends."

"Oh." Naruto dumped the rest of the gummi bears into his mouth and chewed furiously. Sasuke almost told him that he chewed like a cow, but Naruto forced the half-chewed bears down his throat and continued with his thought. "Oww. Anyway, what's with you and Sakura? I thought you didn't like her."

"I told you before, she's my friend. That's it."

"You actually have friends?"

"No, I keep you around because I enjoy the headaches."

"You're doing a terrible job keeping me around if you won't even talk to me."

"What's there to talk about? You fucked up, I got mad, it's all just tiresome."

"You fucked up, too," Naruto grumbled.

"Fine, so I fucked up, too."

Sasuke supposed that best friends didn't maim one another as a general rule. He would take care to avoid at least that in the future no matter what kind of trouble Naruto got him in. Still, he wasn't lying when he said it was an improvement. It gave Naruto a wild look, and Sasuke did enjoy wild looks. It was better than looking at Neji's girly face, at least.

* * *

Once they were back on speaking terms Naruto had asked Sasuke what he wanted for Christmas. Sasuke's first response was that he wanted his parents to quit bitching, knowing well that there was nothing that Naruto could do about that. It was his off-handed way of saying that he wanted nothing. They wound up going to the thrift store immediately after school five days before Christmas and Naruto told Sasuke to pick out a book that he wanted. Sasuke bought him a shirt. They exchanged bags on the way out, too lazy to bother with wrapping and waiting. That's how they rolled. Minato and Kushina would probably get him something, though he never expected them to, and didn't want them to. His parents probably wouldn't get Naruto anything. After all, Naruto still wasn't the happiest topic under the Uchiha roof. Of course his parents would be the last ones to get over the stupid fight.

So Christmas came and went. Sasuke's favorite gift was new socks. He also enjoyed the book Naruto got him. Dad got him the Kindle, and Itachi got him an Amazon voucher, so he fiddled with it throughout the day. Its only redeeming quality was the amount of books he could get for free, and it was perfectly legal. Also, it was easier to stash in his pocket than a book, he had to admit. He still didn't like reading on a screen, though. It was too much like reading on the Internet. He feared for his IQ and how much it would drop whenever he looked upon a screen. He'd been exposed to too many idiotic comments on Youtube, he supposed.

Afterward dad, Itachi, and himself went to grandma's for dinner. Mom claimed to have a migraine and nobody argued. That was a relief. Dad might have pushed under any other circumstances, but when mom had her headaches no one else's opinion mattered. Sasuke thought she was faking it, but he wanted a Christmas without bickering, so he said nothing. He didn't like going to grandma's house, but he sucked it up.

Aunty Rei and Shisui were there, too. What this meant was that Aunty Rei would ask Sasuke a billion questions about school, and Itachi and Shisui would leave him alone to deal with it. Those two were close in age, and they got along better than any other two people with the last name Uchiha, at least to Sasuke's knowledge. Sasuke didn't really have a single friend in his family. No one was his age, and even if they were that didn't guarantee that Sasuke wanted to know them. They made him uncomfortable. Why did grown ups care so much about school anyway? Although if it wasn't that then it was politics and religion, the two worst topics ever. Yes, even worse than girls.

One of these days Itachi and Shisui would let Sasuke in on their disappearing act.

Dad and Sasuke returned home alone that night, and all Fugaku had to say during the entire hour and forty-five minute drive was "don't forget to write your aunty a thank you note." She gave him a candy cane. She probably plucked it off of grandma's tree. Sasuke was not going to write her a thank you note for something like that.

Mom was already in bed when they'd gotten home. Dad soon followed. Sasuke stayed up for awhile with his Kindle. He had the damn thing, so he might as well use it. It occurred to him that he'd never read Mary Shelley's _Frankenstein_, so he figured it was as good a read as any. He shut off the lights around midnight once his eyes began to droop, satisfied with this relatively drama-free Christmas.

That is, until dad woke him up at five-thirty in the morning to announce that there had been an accident.

**TBC**


	12. Kindred, Part 1

Kindred, Part 1

* * *

Sasuke refused to step out of the car when Fugaku pulled up into the vacant driveway of 9 Whirlpool St.

"Sasuke, we're no longer having this argument. Get out."

"No," said Sasuke, refusing to look into his father's eyes. It neither mattered nor occurred to him how petulant he must look with his arms crossed and his head ducked. Mostly he was cold, on the inside and out. This winter had a bite to it, and a nasty wind started barreling through the state. By the time Fugaku made it to the hospital in Enfield his car would probably be buried in snow in a matter of minutes, according to the weather on the radio. They were already telling folks to stay off the roads if possible, but nothing was falling from the sky yet. Connecticut weather took its sweet ass time, especially snow, but the air managed to be brutally cold all the same.

That wasn't the reason he refused to step out of the car, but it certainly didn't help Fugaku's cause.

"You're just like your mother," he grumbled, knowing one way or another that he was going to have to get Sasuke out of his car. As soon as Mikoto got the call she was out the door and on the road without even thinking. It only occurred to her to wake Fugaku in a frenzy, and she was far too upset to be driving, but didn't let that stop her. If she had taken just one moment to think, even just one, it would be her sitting here dealing with their difficult youngest, and Sasuke would already be out of the vehicle. Then again, given the circumstances, expecting her to have that sort of sense was a tall order. Even the critical Fugaku knew that there were limits.

That didn't change the fact that Sasuke was still difficult for him to deal with. "Sasuke, out."

"No."

"I won't tell you again. Get out!"

"You can yell all you want, but I'm not getting out! Don't you dare tell me I can't see him."

"He's in critical condition. You wouldn't be allowed to see him anyway."

"You're lying," said Sasuke, his voice cracking. Fugaku actually wasn't lying. Well before sunrise Mikoto received a call from Rei that Shisui and Itachi were out on the road in the middle of the night. The car slid on something, a patch of black ice, or some leaves. It was unclear, but the car spun out into a telephone pole in Enfield, crushing the driver's side. Shisui was the driver, Itachi the passenger. She was basically told that they were a bloodied, broken mess and rushed to the hospital. It was fortunate that they were seen as quickly as they were, especially in the cold. Any number of things could have killed them if they weren't spotted when they were. Rei did her best to be optimistic, but Fugaku could hear the tears in her voice. He was sick with worry himself, so he couldn't blame Sasuke for wanting to come.

His decision still stood, though. Sasuke has shown exceptional maturity for a boy his age, but he was still just a boy. A very anxious boy. The cold, sterile environment of the hospital would do him no good, and he would undoubtedly disturb others whether he meant to or not. Also, though it didn't occur to Mikoto to even mention Sasuke in her bolt out the door, he was certain she would have made the same choice.

"Everything OK in there?" said Kushina, knocking on the cold glass. The frosted window fought with him on its way down, and the chill that filled the car made Sasuke suck a breath in through his teeth, but Fugaku nodded. He pulled out his wallet and rummaged around for a one hundred dollar bill. Damn the stupid cold, his fingers were already going numb, but he managed to grab it eventually.

"For your trouble," he said, but Kushina pushed it away.

"Trouble? Please, Sasuke's like my own kid. Right, sweetie?"

Sasuke said nothing. It was hard enough to speak when one's teeth were chattering, but that wasn't the whole reason he wouldn't speak. He hugged himself tighter to stave off the cold.

"I need another moment with Sasuke. He'll meet you inside."

"All right. Drive safe. Itachi and Shisui are in our prayers."

"Thank you."

It was tempting to ask Kushina to help him get Sasuke to listen to reason. After all, she really did love Sasuke like he was her own, and perhaps in some other world, some other lifetime, he would have been. It was a foolish thing to dwell on, because that wasn't even the reason she cared so much. She'd learned to love Sasuke and Itachi before she even knew who their parents were, according to Mikoto, and Fugaku believed it. She had a way with people, and they'd just clicked somehow. Perhaps more notably Sasuke and Naruto had clicked. Good friends were hard to come by, though Fugaku could do without their fighting and the hospital bills that came with it. That was not OK and it better not happen again. Otherwise, being with Naruto was the best thing for Sasuke most of the time, especially in times like these. Fugaku knew that much at least.

Even so, he didn't need Mikoto, Kushina, and Naruto's help with everything. Sasuke was Fugaku's kid, and he would listen.

"Sasuke, you can't come."

"W-why?" said Sasuke, his teeth still chattering.

"Because I said so. Now gather your belongings and go inside."

"You just try to pry me out of this seat with that back of yours." His quivering lips were curling into a smirk, and Fugaku was a hair's width away from smacking that look off his face, especially since his back was already aching considerably as they sat there. He just ignored the pain in favor of more pressing issues.

"Why are you being so difficult? You know I don't have time for this."

"What if they don't make it?" said Sasuke, sucking in choked breath. The blood in his face drained, and pride alone was the only thing holding back his tears. "What if this is my last chance to see Itachi alive?"

"You're acting like the worst has already happened," said Fugaku, pinching the bridge of his nose. He felt a headache coming along now. This wasn't something that he dealt with well, he'd be the first to admit that. He'd be lying if he said that hadn't crossed his mind as well, though he knew it did him no good to think such things. As far as he knew, they'd found Itachi and Shisui alive, and alive was good. Concentrating on the good was all any of them needed at the moment, but that was a challenge for Sasuke. "Don't just assume that they won't make it. Pray that they will."

"Fuck that! I want to see my brother. I'll lose my mind if I stay here."

Normally Fugaku wouldn't tolerate such obscenities, but in his own state of mind he could do no more than sigh. He couldn't even do himself the favor of leaning his head into the steering wheel. The clock was ticking. He had to go. "I can assure you that it'll be much worse at the hospital, when you're so much closer and still unable to see him."

"At least I'll be close. I want to be with my brother."

"I know you do. Soon, Sasuke. I promise we'll keep you updated periodically so you don't have to wonder what's going on. You have your phone, correct?"

He nodded. Something like a hiccup cracked through Sasuke's throat, and he finally unclipped his seat belt, though he wasn't ready to get up quite yet. He took a few deep breaths, then looked up at his father, positively anguished. One would think Itachi had already died. Even now Fugaku couldn't help but wonder where Sasuke learned to be so pessimistic. He also wondered whether hugging the boy would be a good move, or a bad one. It was hard to tell with Sasuke, so he opted for not, just because it was easier.

"You promise to keep me updated?"

"Every hour."

"Every half-hour," Sasuke amended.

"Done. Take your things and go. I have to beat the storm."

Sasuke reached into the back seat and grabbed that haphazard duffel bag of things Fugaku gave him a whopping thirty seconds to throw together. That combined with sleep deprived panic brain didn't bode well for him remembering everything, but priorities were priorities. Fugaku knew he'd have a hard time getting Sasuke to listen to reason. He always did. There was the race against the storm to consider, too, and his oldest son had just been in a car accident. Yeah. It was all enough to make anyone crazy.

Before Sasuke hopped out, Fugaku caught his wrist wrapped tight in its coat and layers of clothing. He didn't know what more he should say, so he said the first thing that came to mind.

"It'll be all right."

"Hmph." Sasuke snatched his wrist away, and hopped out of the car. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

He slammed the door shut and didn't look back once, finally giving Fugaku his moment to lean his head against the wheel. He'd been holding in the mother of all sighs, and reached over to lock all of his doors in case Sasuke had a change of heart. He couldn't say it enough. The boy was too much like his mother, so Fugaku never knew what to do with him, though he supposed he did all right this time. At least it wasn't snowing yet.

Now that he'd settled that, he had another son to tend to, and that one was fighting for his life.

* * *

"Sasuke?" said Naruto, tapping on the bathroom door. He'd received no sound but the continuous spray of the shower head. For all he knew Sasuke had turned on the shower for cover and sneaked out the window. He didn't want to be here. That much was obvious.

Now, normally the day after Christmas in the Uzumaki household consisted of enjoying new gifts and eating leftover pie for breakfast, and that breakfast started no earlier than one in the afternoon. Naruto had been up most of the night with dad in the basement, playing all sorts of video games, including but not limited to ones opened under the tree. The best part was kicking his butt at DDR. Dad wasn't always home for Christmas, so it was a hell of a good time, and neither of them were in bed until about three in the morning.

Not three hours later did mom come into Naruto's room, announcing that there had been an accident, and Sasuke would be staying with them for a few days. He was just glad Itachi was found alive, and he'd convinced himself that it would stay that way the moment he'd heard. After all, bro was the smartest, toughest, and coolest guy ever, and this was well before his time to go. Naruto was more concerned about Sasuke honestly. He did stupid things when he was upset, and not always funny stupid. Sometimes scary stupid.

"You alive in there?" Naruto asked, tapping the door with his knuckles. "It's been an hour. Some other people under this roof would like to stop smelling like their own ass, yanno."

Perhaps it wasn't the best time to be joking around, or getting in Sasuke's way. His mom told him at least four times already to give him some space, and Naruto would gladly oblige. Sasuke could take his wonderful, comfy bed that he longed for and even cry all over it if he wanted, all in sweet solitude. What were friends for, after all? There were two couches and a daybed to choose from downstairs, but only one working shower in this house, and Sasuke was hogging it. That, and he was kind of scaring Naruto.

Then the spray stopped, and Sasuke pulled back the shower curtain. Naruto let out a breath of relief. How long was Sasuke planning on staying in there anyway?

Moments later Sasuke stepped out in a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants, toweling off his dripping hair. Every inch of him was red, and if that didn't indicate one hour of scalding heat then the fog of the bathroom certainly did. He was damn lucky they could afford the heating oil to accommodate such an abysmal mood.

"All yours," said Sasuke, not even bothering to punctuate that with a casual insult. He'd said it in such a quiet voice, and didn't even look back as he walked down the hall.

"Uh. If you want you can stay in my room. I won't even bother you."

Sasuke stopped walking and turned his head back, considering. Any other person may see this expression as blank. His eyes were cold and black, and his lips were drawn into its default, a slight frown, sort of like his dad. Naruto himself was no mind reader, but he couldn't help but think of a kicked puppy when Sasuke looked at him like that. What if mom was wrong? What if Sasuke actually needed company? What if he needed a hug?

He just didn't know, but since mom knew what it was like to have a brother die (not that Itachi was going to die, damn it), she would at least know better than Naruto would. But hell, he was worried about Itachi, too. He wouldn't have minded a hug.

Instead, Sasuke turned into his room and shut the door, and Naruto had his shower.

* * *

Sasuke flopped onto Naruto's bed, checking his phone for texts from dad. There were two that read: "Arrived safely, both boys are hanging in there." and "No changes." He placed his phone on Naruto's bedside table and crawled beneath the covers. The room was cold, and Sasuke did need more sleep. He doubted he'd get any, but it didn't hurt to try. It wasn't like he did himself any good worrying, but it came so naturally to him that he got lost in it. He'd probably still be in that shower lost in thought if Naruto hadn't snapped him out of it. He had almost thanked him, but he didn't want to be asked what for.

Naruto's promise to leave Sasuke alone was short-lived, though he figured it might be. That was why he hadn't said anything when Naruto made that offer. Sasuke was drifting in that hazy, questionable state of not-quite-sleep when Naruto knocked, announcing that he needed some clothes.

"Sorry, I gotta get changed," said Naruto, though one should never really be sorry for entering their own bedroom. He only had a towel wrapped around his waist, and Sasuke cracked open his eyes and thought that Naruto was just as scrawny as ever, though it was cute in a way. Once that occurred to him he shut his eyes and buried himself deeper into the comforters, willing his thoughts toward a peaceful nothing through the torrent of worry and misplaced hormonal bullshit. It wouldn't do to lay in your best friend's bed while letting your imagination go wild, especially when the towel around his waist hit the floor. Also, given the current circumstances, such thoughts were extra inappropriate. Sasuke had enough to feel guilty about. He should have convinced dad to let him go to Enfield, too, rather than conceding defeat. There were times where it just didn't pay to be so obedient. This wasn't where he belonged. It was too safe, too normal, too distracting, and much too far from Itachi. His heart gave a cold tug.

Naruto paused in throwing clothes on to let out a big yawn. It was pretty early in the morning still, and where Naruto was a bit better about mornings than Sasuke, he did make a point to stay up late during holiday breaks.

"OK, I'll get out of your hair now. Get some sleep."

Once Naruto's hand was on the knob, Sasuke sat up and said, "Wait."

Naruto blinked, and took his hand off the knob. He was like a deer caught in the headlights, with really no concept of how he should act. That was annoying. Sasuke preferred Naruto be himself regardless of the situation. Loath as he was to admit it, and despite the guilt and the reservations, it was a relief that Naruto had forgotten to bring a change of clothes after promising to leave Sasuke alone, because that was exactly the sort of stupid thing he always did. If Sasuke had it in him to smile at the moment then he would. Rather, he just examined Naruto a bit, even noticing he had thrown on the shirt Sasuke bought him for Christmas. His stomach gave a little jump, and then he turned away.

"I can't sleep," said Sasuke. "If you want your bed then take it."

"No way. You already got comfortable," said Naruto, whose smile broke into another yawn not a moment later. The state of Sasuke's comfort was debatable, though the chill in the air did leave him disinclined to get up, if nothing else. He hated the cold. Being worried and sleep-deprived made him even more cold. Perhaps Naruto felt the same.

"How much sleep did you get?"

"Eh, I dunno. Maybe two or three hours?"

It was less sleep than Sasuke got. He pulled open the covers to his right and cleared his throat. Naruto only had a twin-sized mattress, and it was difficult for them to share anymore since the proximity had become tight. It was impossible for them to both lay down in it without touching one another anymore, though that only seemed to bother Sasuke.

Kicking Naruto out of his own room was decidedly more bothersome, though.

"You sure?" said Naruto.

"Hurry up," said Sasuke, none too fond of the chill that invaded the right side of his body. It was soon replaced by the heat of Naruto's body, and when the two laid on their backs their arms and legs pressed together. There was a faint tightness in Sasuke's torso. Even in times like these he managed some embarrassment. This proximity really was daunting, though it had its advantages. For one, Sasuke definitely wouldn't be cold, especially from the neck up.

"Geez, Sasuke. Your feet are frozen."

"Naturally," said Sasuke with a sneer. "It's only the worst time of year."

"It's because you're Mexican. You know, where you get your hate boner for cold weather. Man, you'd be the worst New Englander ever if you didn't like sports."

"Idiot. I'm not Mexican."

"Really? I thought your mom was Mexican."

"Her mom's only a quarter Mexican. Besides, whatever happened to me being a pasty ghost? I thought I put every Caucasian nerd whose never left their basement to shame."

Naruto laughed. "That's only when you're in a bathing suit applying SPF five billion. Otherwise you're too Asian for that."

"Oh please. You wouldn't guess that I had Japanese in me if I never told you."

"I dunno. With hair like yours I sometimes wonder if your mom plucked you out of Dragon Ball Z, or something."

Sasuke slammed his fist into Naruto's gut, but judging by how his obnoxious friend laughed through the blow it wasn't painful enough. There was no telling why Sasuke's hair did what it did, but that was no reason to be comparing him to old anime characters.

"Or maybe it's because of where you were born? By the way, how did you wind up here? I thought whatever happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas."

"Wow. Did you think of that one all by yourself?" said Sasuke. It was neither the first, nor the last time he'd hear that one. He generally refrained from mentioning his place of birth if he could help it. "I didn't even spend a year in Los Vegas. How am I supposed to remember the weather?"

"I dunno. Maybe your body just works in strange and disturbing ways."

"The only thing in my life that's strange and disturbing is you."

"Now that's just cold," said Naruto. Speaking of which, Sasuke didn't have a full concept of just how cold he was until Naruto wrapped his warm hand around Sasuke's frigid fingers. This was definitely not appropriate, and Sasuke felt as though he should yank it away. Naruto didn't put much thought into these things, which was always annoying. Even so, it was warm, and Sasuke didn't want to make his discomfort obvious. Damn Naruto.

"Say, I've never met your cousin Shisui. What's he like?"

That snapped Sasuke right back to the real situation at hand, and though this didn't need reinforcing, it proved Sasuke's point that Naruto wasn't one to think before he spoke. Even so, it wasn't like Sasuke wanted to avoid thinking about the accident. In fact, he couldn't if he tried, but it was a nice break to think about other things, too. So much for that.

"Why do you ask?" said Sasuke. Even under normal circumstances the topic of Shisui wasn't his favorite, but the idiot crashed the car that his brother was in, and that was unforgivable. There was no reason Sasuke could see for them to be all the way up in Enfield anyway, unless Shisui forgot his GPS and got lost again. One would think that at least one of them would have a phone with a GPS app by now, but both came from cheap ass homes. That really came back to bite them on the behind this time.

"Just killing time, unless you don't want to talk about it."

Sasuke's phone vibrated once as Naruto said that. It was dad again: "No changes."

"I will say this about Shisui," Sasuke began. "If my brother dies because of this I'll fuckin' kill him."

"Oh wow. I take it you and him aren't exactly close?"

"You could say that."

"And you're not even a little bit worried about him?"

"Would it make me a terrible person if I said that I wasn't?"

Naruto's eyes shifted uncomfortably. "Well, yeah, sort of. Or I guess it kinda depends. He's not like a child molester or anything, is he?"

"No, it's nothing like that." It was hard to explain, though that added some perspective to Sasuke's anger that he'd never considered. At least until this very moment Shisui's presence in, well, mostly Itachi's life, wasn't harmful. Even now it was only an accident, and it could've happened to anyone. The fact still stood that it could cost Itachi his life, and Sasuke wasn't OK with that.

"Come on. Tell me about him. I'm really curious now."

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know. I know that him and bro are pretty close. What's up with that?"

"Well," said Sasuke. "It goes back to before any of us were born. My dad and Aunty Rei, Shisui's mom, were outcasts in the family."

"Why?"

"For some reason dad's side of the family disapproves of my mother. I never got why. Itachi says it's because she was a party girl in high school."

Naruto snorted. "I can't picture that."

"Me neither. I think he's lying. Anyway, that's one reason dad's an outcast. Aunty Rei conceived Shisui out-of-wedlock when she was only fifteen. My grandparents didn't approve of this, and she's mostly been on her own since. She raised Shisui by herself. We don't even know who the dad is, and she never married."

"Damn, that sucks."

"Yeah. Our family still means the world to her, though. She knows how rough it is out there, so when dad and us finally moved to Farwell she was generous. She took care of us when she could so that mom and dad could work, pay off the rest of their debts, and pay for the house. Once dad could afford the mortgage on his own mom was able to stay home and look after Itachi and I in Aunty's stead.

"Shisui's only three years older than Itachi, and the two of them have always gotten along. I don't remember any of this because I was a baby at the time, but ever since those two have been joined at the hip. Shisui's not bad. He and I just don't click. I guess he's like any of Itachi's butthead friends. They don't see each other as much now since Aunty Rei and Shisui moved up to Attleboro, Mass.

"How the fuck do get so lost on your way back to Farwell that you wind up in Enfield..."

"I 'unno," said Naruto, yawning once more. He closed his eyes, and his palm was balmy against Sasuke's. Sasuke had forgotten all about the hands until Naruto gave his a feeble squeeze and let it go. "Sounds like a cool guy. I hope he's OK."

"Itachi would be crushed if he didn't make it," Sasuke admitted. Not only Itachi, but Aunty Rei, his parents, and grandma. Ever since grandpa passed away grandma had been pretty lonely. She eased up on criticizing absolutely everything about his mother (though mom not being there last night probably helped), and not once did she nag at Aunty Rei about finding a good husband. Again they talked mostly about school. Itachi was supposed to be transferring to Uni come next fall, and Shisui was going for his Master's in psychology. Even so, Sasuke received the most questions, though how interesting was middle school supposed to be, honestly? If he had to guess he'd say the family was most concerned about him following in their perfect footsteps. They wanted him on the right track. Same old shit.

"I think you would be, too," said Naruto in a sleepy murmur. "You get all jealous over bro, but you wouldn't want him to lose someone that means that much to him. Maybe you should tell Shisui how you feel when all of this blows over."

"There's nothing to tell. Besides, there's no guarantee that he'll even survive."

There was pause. Sasuke didn't want to talk about this anymore, and instead started concentrating on every sound that surrounded him. The television in the living room. His breathing. Naruto's breathing. The wind outside that pushed against the house causing it to creek, and Sasuke noticed the snow coming down out the window in a spotted veil. It was falling diagonally against the wind. This storm would undoubtedly knock branches and trees into the road. Sasuke would even have the pleasure of shoveling the sidewalk and driveway at home once it let up, seeing as he was the only able-bodied person in the Uchiha household at the moment, not to mention the one that was left behind. There could be up to eighteen inches of it once it let up, too, and if it rained at any point it'd be even more difficult to deal with. Snow was the single most evil and horrible thing in the universe.

As if Sasuke didn't have enough to be miserable about, inevitable shoveling had to occur to him this soon.

He hoped Shisui survived, because Sasuke had a fit to pitch at him about shoveling, once he was done pitching an even bigger fit about Itachi of course. In fact, surviving was worse in a way, because karma was a bitch, right? Shisui had to survive now. He couldn't be let off the hook that easily.

However, not only was karma a bitch, but the good die young. Suddenly Sasuke's chest was in pain. _Itachi..._

"Naruto..."

Naruto had fallen asleep somewhere in their silence. How could he be so confident that everything was going to turn out just fine? It came with the territory of having no brain, Sasuke figured, though he knew that was bullshit. The fates of Shisui and Itachi were entirely out of their hands, logically speaking. Naruto seemed to accept that, whereas Sasuke made himself sick with worry, despite the fact that he was only hurting himself. He knew that, but he did it anyway. Perhaps he deserved to hurt himself. Look at where he was. Look at who he was laying down with. He was perfectly warm, safe, and that wasn't OK, not with the way Itachi was.

He'd already thought about killing himself several hundred times if Itachi didn't make it. He'd thought about killing himself and Naruto following. He'd even thought about attempting to kill himself and Naruto talking him out of it a few times, and hated himself for that one. He was romanticizing his brother's death like some sort of sick weirdo. If the good die young then Sasuke would live to be a very old man.

"Sasuke..." Naruto said, in a voice that banished the thoughts that plagued him. He hadn't even been aware of the tears running down his cheeks, but scrubbed them away at once. Naruto's eyes were still shut, and it was hard to tell if he was asleep. Whether asleep, or under the guise of sleep Naruto took that moment to roll over onto his side and put his arm around his distraught friend's chest. "... d'n w'rry s'much."

His damp hair was now ticking Sasuke's jaw, which was perhaps more red than it ever had been. So it was back to this, was it? Sasuke was certain that whatever signals Naruto sent throughout this little cramped bed experience were nothing but pure, because it couldn't be any other way. Even so, it really did his brother and Shisui no good to think about killing himself, or whatever other nonsense battered his tired and troubled mind. He wished he could just hope for the best like everyone else could, but the best he could manage was not thinking about it at all. Naruto's breath against his collar bone, the smell of his clean hair, and the heat of his body were all very distracting, and Sasuke even dared to give Naruto's hand a squeeze with his own. It actually wasn't so much that this was uncomfortable, but that it was too comfortable. It felt too good, and Sasuke wanted this too much. Not just now, but always.

There would never be an always, but at least there was a now. A now that would only be interrupted by whatever news of his brother and cousin he got.

**TBC**


	13. Kindred, Part 2

Kindred, Part 2

* * *

_14 March 2011, ?:?_

* * *

There were two constants in the Uchiha household that changed since the accident three months ago. Only one of these constants was missed.

The yelling, of course, was not missed. Though Sasuke wasn't known for looking on the bright side, the silence that filled the house these days was a welcome relief. Dad returned to working full-time, therefore he and mom were no longer at each other's throats. He insisted that he was fine despite the bad back, but mom and Sasuke both suspected that his blood pressure was through the roof again. Just because he hadn't experienced the pleasure of his first myocardial infarction yet didn't mean that it wasn't coming, but there was nothing anyone could do about it. Insurance and the money fairy weren't going to pay for Itachi's surgeries in full, after all. Despite all of this, the overall atmosphere had become less toxic.

Mom was working more, too, which put Sasuke up to the task of minding the house, and his brother. He didn't mind. He stayed inside mostly. That didn't matter. Though the circumstances weren't ideal, Sasuke could spend all the time with Itachi that he wanted to now.

He mostly spent that time brooding at the kitchen table long after his homework finished, extra credit assignments and all. Then he would muster up the energy to do his, Itachi's, and mom's share of chores. Sasuke was normally tasked with the outdoor chores, like taking out the trash and recyclable things. Soon he'd be mowing the lawn and trimming hedges, once the outdoors came back to life. He didn't fancy shoveling snow again, or ever. That was his most hated chore by far, because it was wet and cold, the worst combination. His main indoor chores consisted of keeping the upstairs bathroom and his bedroom cleaned. He had taken to vacuuming every room with carpeting, sweeping every room with hardwood or ceramic floors. He mopped. He dusted, which he hated almost as much as shoveling. So much sneezing. There were definitely places even mom left untouched, such as the tops of ceiling fan blades. That was a good way to aggravate a family with allergies.

Sasuke had learned skills he'd never dreamed of, such as ironing his dad's work clothes, shining his shoes, and cooking dinner for the family. Sasuke had taken over the lion's share of the cooking as well. It wasn't hard. He figured, if there are ingredients and you can read then you can cook. He cooked when there was food to cook, and made sandwiches and salads when there wasn't. It beat starving whenever mom wasn't home, which was most nights now. At least dad hadn't complained about his cooking yet, but he didn't have to make the comment: "you'll make a good wife someday" at him the other night. He didn't realize exactly why that wasn't funny, and just gave Sasuke more reason to keep it that way.

One might think Mikoto and Fugaku just foisted these tasks upon their unsuspecting youngest, but that just wasn't so. Sasuke did it to occupy himself, and to nurture the peaceful atmosphere. It'd only be too easy to let the house become a mess of clutter caked in dust, unwashed dishes, spoiling food, smelly clothes, and the pests and vermin that followed. Dad only cared about the lawn. Mom told Sasuke not to over exert himself, and that school must come first no matter what. He could neglect all but his brother and the lawn, but that would ultimately do him no good. His parents were neat freaks, and they'd bounce back eventually. If dozens of banal household tasks were taken care of then his parents had nothing to complain about, least of all to each other. It was a small price to pay for peace, really.

It was filthy. It was lonely. It was tiresome. It gave him too much time to himself to think, and getting lost in thought anymore meant trouble. A trouble best kept to himself, though, no matter what Minato Namikaze thought.

Trouble, the constant Sasuke couldn't help but miss when it wasn't around, couldn't help but think fondly upon. He could hold this trouble in a very deep and private place in his heart, granted he wasn't faced with it more than necessary. There wasn't any bit of this that was proper, but he couldn't deny it.

He had a crush on his best friend. Wait, it gets worse! The trouble all started the day his brother almost died.

* * *

_2 January 2011, 9:00AM_

* * *

Itachi was recovering as well as to be expected. Soon enough he'd come home, and by then Sasuke had to clear out the downstairs office. It was the smallest room in the house, and it doubled as a guest bedroom. Rather, on the rare occasions that they did have family members over, Sasuke or Itachi would take up the day bed in the office, and the guest would take one of their rooms. The office was the most unkempt room in the Uchiha household, so mom and dad didn't want anyone but the boys in there, and the door was always closed and locked. Today would be the first time even Naruto had been in there. Mikoto wasn't thrilled, but the job she needed done could not be done by Sasuke alone, and she couldn't lift heavy things, so this was her only option.

Naruto and Minato offered to help Sasuke move everything from the office into the basement. Then they would move Itachi's bed into the office, with one television stand and all of his electronics. That was all that would fit from his room. It would be quite awhile until Itachi could use the stairs again. His left femur was broken in two places, so keeping him upstairs did no one any favors, least of all Itachi. Sasuke had been up to Enfield once to see him. He was a picture of sickly skin marred by cuts and bruises, not to mention painkillers that made one high above the clouds. That was probably why he was smiling and not screaming. He still looked awful. A broken femur alone was an injury painful enough to send one into shock, if Sasuke recalled correctly. Itachi very well could have died.

Sasuke put his arms around his brother gently that day. He usually wasn't one to initiate affectionate gestures, but the brother he loved more than his heart could handle was buried somewhere in a thick haze of morphine. His relief could not be overstated, and words did it no justice.

He had already been stuffing old files into boxes when the doorbell rang, and mom called for him to answer it. He hadn't expected them to arrive this early, though he supposed this task was an all day one. It'd be all right. All they were going to do was work and that was it. There had never been a time where the thought of opening his front door to find Naruto caused his heart to hammer in his chest, though the thought of seeing Minato didn't thrill him either, for different reasons. Reasons he refused to think about. He had to take a breath just to get himself off the floor, then the bell rang again.

"Sasuke!"

"I know!" Sasuke called back to his mother. He brushed old dust off of his clothes and sprinted to the door before the bell could ring again.

"Mornin' jer-rrk," said Naruto, yawning halfway into his greeting. He walked right inside out of the cold and threw off his coat and shoes. He usually didn't wait for Sasuke to invite him inside anyway. Apparently he didn't mind his hair at all either, sticking out in odd places. It was like he rolled out of bed, threw on any old junk he could find, and walked right over. Sasuke was drawing a blank on any quips he could offer in return for that "jerk" comment, and settled mostly for trying not to stare. He'd become familiar with Naruto's fresh out of bed look. He'd also come to enjoy it. He did not enjoy the heat that flooded into his face when he thought of such things, though.

"Where's your dad?" Sasuke asked, thankful that he had at least one coherent thought that he could voice.

"He's got stuff to do, so he's coming a bit later," said Naruto. "Said he's gonna bring pizza and donuts."

"How healthy."

"Aww, shaddap. Don't you ever get sick of rabbit food?"

"You sound like my dad."

Naruto laughed, and the sound of it made Sasuke smile, if only just a little. He would have lost himself in a content daze if Naruto hadn't clapped him on the shoulder and caught a startled glimpse of his eyes.

"I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Hu... so, the office is this way," said Sasuke, breaking away from Naruto's grip on his shoulder and refusing to look at him. He really needed to get a hold of himself. Still fresh out of the closet, the last thing Sasuke needed was sporting a crush on his best friend. It was all Itachi's fault for putting that bug in his ear, or rather, it was Naruto's fault for introducing him to Gaara. He wouldn't be thinking about anyone in THAT sort of context otherwise. Though he'd come to terms with being gay, he had no desire to pursue Gaara, who didn't want him anyway. That asshole Neji was easy on the eyes, if a little androgynous, but their after school boy's bathroom tryst was also a one time thing. Unlike Gaara, Neji was a terrible kisser, but made up for it with what he could do with his hands. If Sasuke could have Neji's hands and Gaara's lips without the rest of them they'd be a dream come true, though now was not the time for mulling over that.

In any case, Naruto and Sasuke spent the first couple of hours putting dusty old books, files, and other junk into cardboard boxes labeled "office." All of it was his parents' stuff, whatever the hell it was, so it was easy enough just to move them and let it all be their problem at some later date. There were some photo albums, too, and Naruto thumbed through one of them. He laughed at one picture of a two-year-old Itachi laying in a bathtub with his butt sticking out for the world to see. Sasuke snatched it away before Naruto could find the Sasuke section. There wasn't much of a Sasuke section anyway, because most of his baby photos were digital and stored on a flashdrive somewhere. At least his mom's extreme fear of pedophiles kept her from posting all of his baby pictures on facebook, or so he'd hoped.

"Once everything's off the shelves and the desk we can start moving all this shit into the basement," said Sasuke, removing various breakable dust collectors from the shelves now and wrapping them in bubble wrap. For some reason grandma always sent useless things like generic statues of angels, music boxes, or snow globes. These were some of the older ones, because the newer ones always got donated to Goodwill first chance they got. Mom had long since grown weary of being indirectly told that she lacked Jesus, or some crap. Dad was just as bad as her. Though they technically identified as Catholics, none of them actually practiced it regularly, or spoke of it ever.

Sasuke only stepped into a church twice a year, on Easter, and on Christmas Eve. Or rather, he was dragged to them. He never sang along. He always zoned out. He hated old people. There was no end to his jealousy that Itachi no longer had to go. Sasuke would make his first protest this coming Easter. He was really quite certain that Jesus would approve of sleeping in on a Sunday. _Thou shalt not rouse the beast_ sounded like an excellent commandment.

Also, he had to admit, the risk of getting dragged to church more than twice a year did occur to him when he thought of coming out to his parents, particularly his dad. That wasn't something he wanted to think about, so he didn't.

"... so like I was in this timed fucking battle against this piece of goddamn shit munching boss ass bitch that wouldn't fucking die, right? And on my fourth attempt I totally filled the time requirement, but I forgot that I had to push the square button, or some stupid fucking shit, so I got a game over and had to try it AGAIN. Fuck that stupid game. I don't know why dad likes it so much. Well, Lightning is hot..."

"Don't let my mom hear you talking about your video game-related woes. She'll make good on her threat to wash out your mouth with soap," said Sasuke, though she cursed like a sailor under her breath when she thought no one was listening. Sometimes she even let one slip while arguing with dad at the top of her lungs, though never when either of the boys were in sight. She liked to think she set a good example, but if she thought Sasuke acquired his own vulgar vocabulary from dad, Naruto, Itachi, or the big bad Internet that she still policed to this day, then she would be sorely mistaken. Given free rein to read whatever the hell he wanted as long as it was in print didn't help.

"My mom's already goddamn tried it. I'm a lost fucking cause," said Naruto, who pulled down the lids of his eyes with both middle fingers and stuck out his tongue. "Besides, you're one to talk. Fuck's your favorite word."

"No, my favorite word is hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. For the cruelty."

"You dick. That's not an actual word!"

"It is an actual word. By definition it's the fear of long words. Get it?"

"Fuck you," said Naruto. Sasuke supposed that he didn't get it. Well, that wasn't his problem.

"All right, quit clowning around. Let's get all this junk packed before... what's so funny?"

Naruto was laughing, and Sasuke knew he'd regret asking. "We're packing junk all right." Then in a lower voice he uttered, "fudge in your case."

Sasuke punched Naruto in the chest, and the scarlet hue returned to his cheeks with a vengeance. He started dumping the last bit of things into one of the boxes at random. There was an old wrench, crumpled and frayed art projects of questionable significance, stuff with water damage and nicotine stains that he threw in the garbage, cookbooks that were falling apart, a bouncy ball, an unopened box of Crayola crayons that Naruto snagged (they wouldn't be missed), old letters, an old AM/FM radio with a broken antenna and no batteries, an ancient box of tissues squashed mercilessly under years of junk, and of course Sasuke's favorite, layers and layers and layers and layers of dust. Mom decided that this bowing old junk shelf could be dumped at the curb, which was good because Sasuke didn't want to dust it. Moving it away permanently was better. He was already itching to take a shower and they hadn't even gotten to the difficult part yet.

"Help me get this fuckin' thing out of here," said Sasuke.

By the time they dumped the old shelf outside Minato pulled up in the driveway. Sasuke's nostrils flared. He hoped Naruto didn't notice.

"Ready for lunch, boys?" he said, with two boxes of pizza and a dozen donuts in one arm. Naruto's eyes practically fell out of his head at the sight, and his stomach was growling. Sasuke checked his phone, wondering just how much time had passed since Naruto's arrival. It was already eleven-thirty, which was just about lunch time. It didn't feel at all like two and a half hours had passed. All they did was empty the big shelf. They still had to empty the desk and remove the ironing board, day bed, and whatever other random shit was in there, and then vacuum the floor. If only Naruto didn't waste so much time talking about dumb stuff and making stupid jokes. Maybe Minato's presence would deter such behavior.

They all filed into the kitchen, taking their seats at the table as Sasuke grabbed three paper plates and three bottles of water.

"Isn't your mom home?" said Minato. "You should offer her some."

"She's busy," Sasuke abruptly blurted. "She'll come down when she's hungry." _And then bitch about all the sugars, empty calories, simple carbohydrates, and excessive gluten intake while she's eating,_ Sasuke didn't say. And he didn't care, because one of the pizzas had bacon on it. When you're thirteen and don't give a fuck, cholesterol is a beautiful thing, especially the bacon kind.

"Did you boys get a lot done already?"

Respectively, Naruto and Sasuke said "Yup" and "Not really" at the same time, then glared at each other. Sasuke was the first to look away when it occurred to him that Naruto had pretty eyes. Pretty wasn't even generally a part of his vocabulary. It wasn't his fault that blue was his favorite color, damn it. He chose to concentrate on inhaling pizza to quiet his mind. He didn't much care for the way Minato was smiling at the moment either.

"What have you boys got there?" said Mikoto, strolling into the kitchen in a tank top and sweatpants. She had her hair tied up in a ponytail and a white sweatband around her forehead. She spent up to an hour on the treadmill each morning these days, or rather was just getting back into her routine since the accident, which promised to be obnoxious. She went through phases of being health conscious, which drove dad up the wall, and though she did have a point she could still be annoying about it. "I smell pizza."

"It is pizza," said Minato, helping himself to a second slice. "Would you like some?"

"No thank you," said Mikoto, whose eyes were telling a much different story than her mouth. "I'm on a strict diet. Normally Sasuke would be, too." He could feel the weight of her glare, and it was making his skin prickle. "But since you all are doing us a favor I'll let it slide for today."

Oh, if only she knew there were worse offenses Sasuke committed than eating pizza.

She snatched a fully prepared spinach and tomato salad out of the fridge and disappeared from the kitchen as quickly as she had come in. She was awfully nimble for someone with arthritis, though there were days where it didn't bother her. It was also possible that there were days where it did and she just didn't say anything.

At least she had errands, then work, where she wouldn't be tormented by the smell of pizza.

Once through with lunch they put the second pizza in the fridge to pick at later, and decided to pick at the donuts as they went along. Sasuke didn't much care for donuts, or any sweets really. They made him feel sluggish and bloated, and it didn't take too much sugary junk to give him heartburn. Headaches happened, too. Even so, he called dibs on the Boston cream, just because he knew those were Naruto's favorite. Suddenly his loud dipshit of a best friend became grumbly, and Minato just laughed.

More work got done with Minato around, since conversation had become less candid. Naruto was careful not to bring up Sasuke's sexual orientation around anyone who wasn't in the know. He'd done more than enough meddling for one lifetime, and should be grateful that Sasuke even bothered to forgive him. He had his good points, though. He was stronger than he looked, for one, and brought most of the boxes and the old ironing board into the basement without any help. Then he and his dad worked together to carry the linkspring of the day bed down into the basement, while Sasuke took the futon mattress up into his room. Mom agreed to let him have it since he and Naruto were too old to be sharing a bed anymore, or at least that's the excuse that he used. That, and Naruto drooled. Sasuke and other peoples' saliva had a terrible relationship, at least when it didn't involve... arousing favors.

Sasuke might have once thought he was an exception to the general rule, that guys think about sex every six seconds. At least until now, though to his credit it's not like he wanted to be thinking about it. He kicked the futon under his bed, fixed his bedspread, and went back downstairs. Next he was going to load the Dell and its clunky monitor into his mom's car before she took off. That old piece of shit computer finally died six months ago, and dad wasn't bothering to have it replaced, so they were going to recycle it. Once that was done and she was gone they moved and threw away more junk, Sasuke vacuumed, and Minato suggested leaving the desk in the room to use as a television stand, just to save time. It was doable, but would be a tight fit with Itachi's mattress.

Naruto and Sasuke took a short break to nibble on some cold pizza and donuts, and chug down two more bottles of water. Naruto's t-shirt was soaked in various places, from spilled water and his own sweat.

"Man, I need to take this off or I'm gonna fuckin' die," said Naruto, peeling off his shirt with barely any warning at all. He tossed it onto Sasuke's bed and stretched out his arms and his spine. Since he was facing away Sasuke had little reservations about staring, and felt his throat dry up once more. It wasn't that Naruto's body was impressive. He was still a short, bony little toothpick that probably hadn't even sprouted any pubic hair yet. That seemed like the sort of thing he'd boast about to the world, come to think of it. Sasuke had a special punch in the head saved up for him if Naruto ever asked to compare dick hairs, or worse, sizes. He was cautiously optimistic in assuming Naruto wasn't quite that stupid. What's a gay boy to say when asked to survey another boy's dick anyway?

The reel of disquieting thoughts continued its persistent spin through the rest of the day. As he and Naruto carried Itachi's mattress down the stairs, Sasuke reflected upon the color of Naruto's skin and how nice it was. Whatever it was in Naruto trumped the Mexican in Sasuke in terms of tanning. He even maintained a sunkissed complexion year round, whereas Sasuke was lucky any year he didn't fry himself into the color of spanked ass. He avoided beaches in particular because of this, not to mention he hated sand.

It wasn't just Naruto's skin that reminded Sasuke of sunshine, but his hair. When Naruto actually remembered to bathe it had a nice fluffy texture to it, and it was always warm. Sometimes in teasing Sasuke would thread his fingers into Naruto's hair for just a moment, usually to push him forward, or to shut him up, but he also didn't mind leaching heat from his scalp all the while, and sometimes that gesture made Naruto chuckle despite any deleterious remarks Sasuke made.

His eyes were the color of the sky, and his silly toothy grin shined like the rest of him. He was like a package of sunshine, which was probably what made him so annoying. Sasuke could only take sunshine in small doses when he was consciously aware of a beautiful day, and not just making the typical mindless motions through one. He supposed, in that case, that he was blessed to live in a state whose weather was exceptionally gray and shitty at least half the time. Besides, who needs constant sunshine when you have Naruto there to annoy you?

"... Right? Yo, did you hear a word that I just said?"

Sasuke blinked, and turned his eyes toward Naruto.

"You've been spacing out a lot today," said Naruto. He and Sasuke set the mattress down against the hallway wall. Minato was upstairs disassembling frame and the headboard, and the boys were expected to take the boxspring down next. They paused for a moment, then Naruto placed his hands around Sasuke's cheeks. "Your face is kinda hot. Are you feeling OK?"

"Let go of my face," said Sasuke, shoving one of Naruto's hands aside. He slid his other one down to Sasuke's shoulder again and gave it a squeeze. "I'm fine."

"Are you thinking about bro?" said Naruto. "You can talk about it, you know."

"There's nothing to talk about." Sasuke shoved his hand into Naruto's greasy, sweat-soaked hair and gave it a shove. It would have been more disgusting if Sasuke's wasn't even worse, and it was worth it to hear Naruto laugh like that. "Why do you laugh every time I do that?"

"Because it tickles."

Well, the folks that cut Naruto's hair must have a field day with that one, Sasuke figured. They said nothing more about Sasuke's mood, or Itachi. It wasn't like he was lying. He wasn't thinking about Itachi because he was too busy thinking about Naruto for whatever reason. Actually, Itachi would probably get a kick out of that. He was a jerk like that.

By sundown Minato had the box spring and headboard reassembled downstairs, and Naruto and Sasuke were able to put the bed back together. It was awkward considering that the bed and desk were barely a foot apart, and if the damn radiator weren't in the way they would have been able to push the desk back more. Perhaps leaving it in there was a bad idea after all, though it was able to hold stuff like a stash of clothes. There was just enough room at the foot of the bed for Itachi to be able to slide into a wheelchair once he was mobile. It probably wasn't ideal, but who really plans for this sort of thing? Sasuke decided to call it quits once the bed was made, because he was disgusting and needed a shower, or he was going to kill someone.

"Why do you get to go first? I'm the guest!" said Naruto.

"Use the downstairs one," said Sasuke, already halfway into the upstairs bathroom.

"That one works?"

"Would I have suggested using it if it didn't?"

"Are you spending the night, Naruto?" said Minato.

"I dunno," said Naruto, turning back toward Sasuke. "Am I?"

"Sure, fine. Just let me shower." Click. He shut the door, the shower was as hot as he could handle, and Sasuke scrubbed his skin, scalp, and hair raw, then proceeded to masturbate frantically beneath the cloud of steam. Why did scrawny, sticky, sweaty, shirtless, greasy, filthy, fucking _Naruto_ have to be so damn hot? He swore his mind's eye was distorting it now, every little detail he drank in today. He thumped his forehead against the wall once with frustration, and once again when he was spent. Why did it always have to be _Naruto_?

Oh well. His foresight in claiming that futon was flawless, if nothing else. He didn't think he could handle ever sleeping in a bed with Naruto again, quite frankly.

* * *

_27 December 2010, 2:12AM_

* * *

Sasuke had spent his day caught somewhere between frantic worry and the most wonderful calm of his life, and he put too much thought into both of these things whenever he wasn't sleeping. Sleep did come easier when dad urged Sasuke to "Speak to Kushina" at some point in the afternoon, though he didn't quite remember when. Naruto woke up sometime before he did and was playing some game on his PSP, though he remained in bed beside Sasuke, which was not by any means unwelcome. Admitting that much was embarrassing, so he refused to put it into words, though the part of him that was taught to thank those that did right by him berated him for this. It was just too embarrassing. Naruto offered him a smile when he woke up, so he figured that meant he understood. Good enough.

Itachi was going to live. If all went well with the surgery on his leg, he was expected to make a full recovery. Currently he was being monitored for some minor head trauma, though that hardly held a candle to the injuries Shisui had. He had to have a blood transfusion, and was lucky enough to have a matching donor. Though he'd been stabilized, some bones on the left side of his body were crushed. Part of his arm would be amputated. He also had some sort of trauma to the head, though she might not have gotten any details about that from dad. Kushina wouldn't say anymore, and Sasuke figured he'd cut the guy some slack when he came to. Losing your arm was more than punishment enough for being stupid.

When Sasuke ducked his head down and took all of the news in, Kushina wrapped her hand around the bottom of his face and squeezed it until he looked like a blow fish, and planted a dry kiss on his forehead.

"Chin up now, sweetie. The worst is over now, yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, though it sounded hollow even to his own ears.

Kushina turned her attention back to the stove, and Sasuke was barely aware that he was in any sort of space at all. He should have been relieved, though mostly he was just drained. Perhaps he knew all along what Naruto did, that everything would be just fine, though his penchant for assuming the worst ate him alive as usual. This left him feeling exceptionally numb, at least until Naruto made his presence in the room known. He followed Sasuke to the kitchen to hear what Kushina had to say, but Sasuke wasn't sure what he would do if faced with Naruto's smiling face. Moments later Naruto decided to throw his arms around Sasuke from behind and bury his cheek into the left side of his long neck.

"Let go," said Sasuke half-heartedly.

"No," said Naruto, squeezing him tighter. He'd just spent half the damn day holding Sasuke, probably even held a record now. What more could he want?

Though it wasn't what Naruto wanted that concerned Sasuke so much as how much he enjoyed his friend's embrace. His least favorite thing about it was the rush of cold that came when it was over, though there was no way of saying that without it sounding weird, which was exactly what it was, come to think of it.

For the rest of the night Sasuke got to deal with the fact that his brother and cousin both almost died. His brother was going to be disabled indefinitely, and his cousin was going to be disabled for life, and that was just a leg and an arm. God only knew what their head injuries would do to them. Sasuke knew blunt trauma to the head could cause certain mental disabilities, certain deficiencies with motor skills, behavioral issues, sensitivity to light, dizziness, and blindness, and those were just the ones he knew. Would they change as people because of this accident? How much? Once his mind dipped down that road, he was no better off than he was before, and he was wide awake and restless long after Naruto was down and out again.

Which brought him to a certain two in the morning exploit he'd been perfecting at home to deal with the anxiety his parents caused him. Whenever he just couldn't sleep, or couldn't stop the whirlwind of thinking, he'd discovered one way to make it stop at least for a little while. He would only do this on the absolute worst days and as a last resort, because he would get into deep trouble if he ever got caught, but sometimes the benefits outweighed the worst case scenario. He also did this sparingly to avoid building a tolerance.

After all, the less alcohol it took to shut his brain up, the less likely he'd get caught.

He'd only ever raided his mom and dad's stash, so this would be the first night he had ever raided anyone else's. He retrieved a black Harley Davidson mug from the cabinets as quietly as he could, and filled Kushina's Keurig with three quarters of a mug of water. He selected a hot chocolate K-cup and brewed that while he investigated the cabinets for anything alcoholic. His parents kept rum around, sometimes vodka, depending on the occasion. Dad liked whiskey, but Sasuke never tried it. It smelled like cough syrup to him, not to mention dad would know right away if someone had some. Rum was used by both of his parents, occasional guests, and sometimes Itachi if they let him, which was hardly ever, but not unheard of. Sasuke had gotten away with it about five times already.

Seeing as he had no idea how, or if, Minato and Kushina kept track of their stash, this was a bigger risk. It was also the worst day of Sasuke's life. He didn't care if he got into trouble. He just wanted to stop thinking.

What he found eventually was a bottle of Bacardi in the freezer buried under some frozen dinners. It wasn't a terribly organized freezer, and it seemed pretty safe to assume that it was a free for all with this bottle, especially in such an obvious place as the freezer. He wondered briefly if Naruto ever tried to get at it, but the longer he stood around with that bottle in his hands, the more likely it was that he'd get caught.

He never measured how much he put in. He just put in how ever much he thought he could get away with, which wasn't a whole hell of a lot, and hoped that it would be enough to quiet his mind. It usually was. He did his best to place the Bacardi back into its rightful spot exactly as he found it, and closed the freezer. He'd never had a rum and hot chocolate concoction before, and found that it was just about the most disgusting thing he'd ever tasted. Soda was a better choice for this sort of thing, but the only soda Naruto had was piss, or what some people called mountain dew. Sasuke called it piss. He didn't know what was worse, piss, or what he was drinking.

Fuck his throat burned. Maybe he poured too much rum. That was probably for the best. That just meant he didn't have to drink it all to achieve his goal. He took one more giant gulp of his drink, and felt it do a nauseating flip in his gut as it burned and it fought. Oh fuck it fought. He was panting, sweating, coughing, and had his clenched fist pressed to the counter. He would rather die than puke, and fighting nausea certainly gave him something other than his miserable life to concentrate on. It put up a good fight, but somehow Sasuke's stomach managed to accept it, for now. He could already feel his mind blanking out, and his veins were buzzing with a warmth independent of Naruto's body heat. Oh yeah, that was another problem Sasuke was glad to no longer be thinking about.

"Sasuke, what are you doing?" said Minato from the doorframe. He lifted his head to face the older man, somehow undaunted by his presence, and not particularly surprised. A man from the Navy would likely be trained to hear all sorts of things. Snooping adolescent boys were a cake walk then. That was very funny, except Sasuke didn't laugh. He just stared like an idiot.

Minato didn't even have to bring the mug to his nose to smell what was in it, and if Sasuke were quicker on the uptake the flash of fury in Minato's eyes might not have gone unnoticed. He had at least half a mind to slap Sasuke, because that's the least of what Fugaku would do, but instead he confiscated the mug and poured the rest of the spiked drink down the drain, rinsed out the mug, and stuck it in the dish washer. Then he pulled a large glass out of the cabinet and filled it with filtered tap water.

"Drink all of it," Minato said, in that deep parental drawl that wouldn't take no for an answer. "You'll wake up with a headache if you don't."

"I might puke if I do," said Sasuke.

"If you do that's just your body's way of saying you drank something that you really shouldn't have."

Sasuke took one sip of water. He took a slightly bigger sip as soon as he didn't regret the first one.

Minato steered him into the dark living room and flicked on the dull tabletop light next to the old chair. The two of them sat on the couch together, Sasuke saying nothing as he continued taking baby sips of water. He mostly liked how it felt on his tongue. He still didn't like how his stomach felt, though.

"Why'd you do it?" Minato asked, after a few crawling moments of silence. Sasuke didn't like the disappointment in his voice. You'd think he'd keyed the man's car or something.

"I don't want to think about my brother anymore," said Sasuke, truthfully. He hadn't even thought about that response. There just wasn't any point in talking himself out of trouble.

The expression on Minato's face softened into sadness, and frankly Sasuke preferred the disappointment. He could deal with the fact that he'd blatantly done the wrong thing. He was sick to death of everyone's coddling, though, but he wasn't in any position to pitch a fit at this point, and wasn't drunk and stupid enough to wake the whole house up over it.

"If something's troubling you next time, you can come and talk to me," said Minato, putting his arm around Sasuke's shoulders. "There's no sense in drowning out what you're thinking."

"You don't understand," said Sasuke, his voice quivering. "It's constant. It doesn't stop. You want me to talk? I'll write you a fucking book! An anthology about today alone."

Water was sloshing from his glass and soaking into his shirt and pajama bottoms, and he bit his tongue. He knew he was saying too much, but at least he wasn't crying. If he started that shit again he'd probably just hurl himself off the roof.

"Sounds like you need therapy."

"Go to hell," said Sasuke, with his lips around the rim of the glass. Even if he did need therapy, now was not the time to bother his parents with it.

"I didn't mean that as an insult. Alcohol isn't even the answer for adults, and you're only thirteen."

"Funny, for something that's not the answer you _adults_ certainly keep a lot of it around."

If his parents had any idea how he was speaking to Minato right now they'd just give up and shoot him. It was a welcome option at the moment.

"You got me there, but that doesn't change anything. How would your parents feel if they knew about this?"

"They'd wish they weren't just Catholic enough to hate abortions." Sasuke laughed when he said it, even though it wasn't funny at all. "Do you regret ever having let me near your son? I'm such a piece of shit."

"Stop talking like that! Do you know how scary you sound?"

"Why do you even care?" Sasuke didn't. He didn't give a shit about the full impact his words had. He felt cold and hollow and dead as he sometimes wished he was. Since he'd never been buzzed around another person, discovering that he developed a case of severe diarrhea of the mouth was interesting. He'd have to take care to avoid others in the future then. Besides, he wasn't Naruto. The interesting things in his life tended to not be happy.

"Why wouldn't I?" said Minato, mostly to himself. He didn't let go of Sasuke's shoulder until the boy had to pee, which wound up doubling as a puking trip. That's what he got for standing up too fast. The world was still spinning on his drag back from the bathroom, but that was nothing compared to what stopped him in the hall.

Kushina didn't fuck around. She whipped around the stairwell with her husband on her tail, in no way deterred from having just woken up. As soon as she was within arm's length she slapped Sasuke hard. That was sobering enough in and of itself, because his own mom might have done just that, and she despised corporal punishment.

"I'm sorry," she said, and she started to cry, which was more sobering than the slap was. It seemed he was incapable of being anywhere without causing some sort of pain and misery. "It's not my place to hit you. It's just... you're such a wonderful boy. I don't understand why you'd do such a thing, or why you'd say such awful things about yourself."

Then she pulled him into her arms as her sobs shook them both, and she stroked his hair and his back. It felt so wonderful and so fucking awful. Why did these people do this to him?

"I know it hurts, sweetie. That's why you're here. You're here because we love you and we care, whether you like it or not."

"If I were better with words, I would have said so myself," said Minato, scratching his scalp nervously. "You're like our kid, you know. There's nothing you can't come and talk to us about."

Damn it. That was the last thing Sasuke wanted to hear. How often did he have to fuck up before these people kicked him out for good? He'd gotten so used to feeling worthless that he didn't know how to feel worthy. This unconditional love Naruto's family somehow had for him felt misdirected, but was it? How the fuck should he know? How would they feel if they knew he was gay and possibly had the hots for their only son? Would they love him then?

He was tempted to blurt that one out, too. Instead, he bit back his own tears and waited for Kushina to finish hers. Maybe when he was less buzzed, nauseous, and depressed these things would all start to make sense.

* * *

_14 March 2011, 10:46PM_

* * *

To this day Kushina and Minato never told Sasuke's parents about his drinking exploit, not to his knowledge anyway, as long as he promised to never do it again. He had already broken that promise twice, but he knew better than to do his drinking anywhere but home, which was where he stayed when he wasn't at school. He was too embarrassed to visit Naruto's house after that night for metric fuckton of reasons, most of which Naruto slept through peacefully.

As for the rest, Sasuke would just have to figure that out as he went along.

**End Part Two**

**A/N:** References? Err, the game Naruto was cursing like a gamer about was _Final Fantasy XIII_. I guess he sucks at that game as much as I do (curse you, bad reflexes and bad memory! I hate time limits.) Also, I hope none of my readers out there have hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, because I would feel bad about freaking you out with that word (twice, if you're reading this A/N. DX) Lastly, I'unno know jack shit about car crash injuries and what doctors do about them. I just remember random shit, or google shit, so my knowledge is shoddy at best. Forgive me.


	14. Long Dicks and Beer Tricks

**PART THREE**

An Issue of Love

* * *

"You young things are too easily persuaded by the touch of lips." Scott Westerfeld, _Goliath_

* * *

Long Dicks and Beer Tricks

* * *

Chilly October air began to creep into Sasuke's room as he completed the last of his homework. It was habit really, to complete it all at once despite the fact that it was Saturday, and he had the entire three day weekend to do it. Naruto's birthday was only yesterday, but Sasuke had a million things to do that day. Whenever he missed Naruto's birthday for whatever reason he was forced to make up for it at some point. In fact, he hadn't even expected enough quiet solitude to be able to finish all of his homework, and shot the digital clock on his bedside table an annoyed glare. Quarter past ten and not even one ass joke via text. Surely Naruto couldn't have been mad at him.

It was possible. He'd thrown hissy fits over less petty things than that before, but he had no business being mad. They were in their junior year of high school now. Sasuke had things to do, such as tennis practice, physics club, and math tutoring, and those were just the consistent ones. He wanted a balance of sports, academics, and charity to throw it in the faces of colleges that he was quality material, despite only having a 3.9 GPA, which his dad liked to throw in his face every so often. Sasuke couldn't help it if one stupid history teacher really had it out for him in his freshman year, so if he piled on the extracurricular activities then no one had any business complaining.

He still refused to join the gay-straight alliance, even though Sakura was vice president now and on his case about it now more than ever. He knew some of the guys in that club and didn't want anyone waggling brows at him. He got enough of that in gym class. Sometimes he wished he could go back to the days where where some of those same stupid boys just jeered at him and called him a faggot. _Yeah, thanks for calling a spade a spade, you dumb fucks_, Sasuke could think to himself with a twisted sense of peace. Funny, now that some males were paying a different kind of attention to him so obviously there was just no time for that shit, and in any case Sasuke really wasn't interested. There was no law stating that he had to explore his sexuality. People were annoying. He didn't need a boy_thing_, though it was really more like he wasn't interested in the ones he knew were available to him.

Sasuke was stirred from his thoughts when he saw something move in his peripheral vision, so turned away from the clock to find a shield-shaped bug just creeping up his wall like he owned it.

"Fucking stink bugs," he grumbled. He threw open the screen of his window and tossed the bug out. He used to find lady bugs in his room, and according to Sakura they were supposed to be lucky; however, according to Itachi every superstition ever was bullshit. Sasuke supposed that he had to side with Sakura on this one. If nothing else lady bugs were far more pleasant than stink bugs, thus their presence in and of itself was fortuitous.

Before he closed his window screen, Sasuke noticed someone in a gray hoodie fiddling with their cell phone in his back yard. Then his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. Sasuke slid it open and stared down at the touch screen.

_get downhere man i hav something wicked to show u _

Sasuke looked up from his phone to find Naruto waving at him, so he slammed his window shut in response. After all, he was the supreme master of feigning annoyance, mostly because he was always annoyed to some extent, though he couldn't mistake the little jump of relief he felt upon seeing his friend. Actually, that just annoyed him more. The thought of it made him scowl, but he disregarded it. Of course Naruto was going to come bug him eventually. That was his job. Speaking of bugging, Sasuke hoped that stupid stink bug landed on Naruto just for good measure.

He threw on some old Nike sneakers and a jacket and ran outside. Dad wouldn't even know. He didn't really make it his business to know anymore, not that he ever did. That was usually mom's job, but she was on the other side of the country at the moment. As long as the lawn and Sasuke's grades didn't look like shit then all was well with dad's world. That was easy enough.

"Heya, buddy," said Naruto, and then Sasuke socked him in the arm. "Oww! What the fuck, man?"

"There's sixteen more where that came from," said Sasuke, expanding and contracting his fingers with pride.

"Oh, hell no! My birthday was yesterday. Belated birthday punches don't count."

"Says who?"

"Says me, jerk. By the way, what'd you get me?"

"Eighty hours of bukkake on stunning bluray," said Sasuke, who was the only person Naruto knew that could say such things with a straight face. He laughed all the way to the curb, being told twice to shush so they wouldn't disturb Fugaku. After all, there were only so many things that Sasuke could get away with still. Waking dad up after he took his plethora of pills wasn't one of them.

"Yo, can we take your car? I don't feel like walking," said Naruto.

"I'm not driving us to your house."

"We're not going to my house. Dude, you know that abandoned old train station downtown?"

"I'm not driving us there, either."

"Dude, hear me out. You gotta see my masterpiece. Ah, Kiba was so pissed when I fuckin' did it. He bet me forty bucks that I wouldn't." Naruto guffawed and pulled two twenty dollar bills out of his pocket.

"You spray painted a giant dick on that old building, didn't you?"

"Ah-" Naruto held one finger up, and all the words came to full stop beneath his uvula. It took him nearly a full minute to let out so much as an indignant grunt. Clearly Sasuke ruined the surprise. "You completely suck, Sasuke. You know that?"

"And you're completely predictable, but good job in any case." Sasuke crossed his arms and smirked. He didn't bother admitting that he'd overheard that mischievous plan at lunch over a month ago. He actually tuned in on Naruto's asinine blatherings with the other guys on occasion. "Congrats on doing something that's actually illegal, and not just irritating."

"Hey, that's right. I not only have the balls to vandalize creepy, shitty buildings, but I'm forty bucks richer. How's being a total straight and narrow goodie two shoes working for you, wiseass?"

"You of all people should know that straight doesn't apply to me."

"Blah-blah-semantics-blah. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I think I do," said Sasuke, pulling his car keys out of his pocket. He pushed the button to unlock the doors of his black Honda hatchback and told Naruto to get in.

"Yup, I knew you couldn't resist my giant dick."

"In your dreams, dipshit," said Sasuke. "That's not where we're going." He leaned in over Naruto's shoulder and whispered, "We're going to dispose of the body inside of the trunk." He then turned the ignition, and Naruto's skin lost all of its color for just a moment there.

"You fuckin' liar!" said Naruto, gripping his seat as Sasuke tore away from the curb. It was a maneuver worthy of Kushina, and anyone else who drove like her scared the shit out of Naruto. That's why Sasuke did it. "You're obviously lying!"

Sasuke laughed. It was a horrible sound.

"Please tell me you're lying."

Sasuke laughed more. It really was a horrible, startling sound. For one, Sasuke almost never laughed. When he did it was usually because he was up to no good. Naruto's skin broke out in goose flesh. What was scarier, really? The sound of Sasuke's evil laughter, or the thought of a dead body in Sasuke's trunk? Come to think of it, it really wasn't a question of who Sasuke would kill, but a question of who _wouldn't_ he kill. Not that Naruto believed there was really a body in the trunk, or anything.

"Oh god, I think I smell rotting flesh..."

"That's just your breath," said Sasuke.

"Ah-ha! There IS no body."

"No shit, Sherlock." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "But there is a surprise. There's also spearmint gum in the glove compartment. Chew some, for both our sakes."

Naruto took two pieces and chewed like a cow just to get on Sasuke's nerves, until the gum lost its flavor and he spit the wad out the window. Incidentally the place Sasuke had in mind required him to drive on the bridge near the abandoned train station, and sure enough Sasuke caught a glimpse of the stupid looking dick and balls sprayed on the side of it. Naruto even gave the head of the cartoon cock two beady little eyes and a smile. There were words, too, but Sasuke didn't look long enough to read them. Good thing there weren't any cops around, none that Sasuke could see in any case. But oh. The poor childrens would be exposed to the horrors of cartoon genitalia now. What was the world coming to? Sasuke almost laughed again, but he didn't want to give Naruto the satisfaction of laughing at one of his pranks, especially one as stupid and unimaginative as this.

"You saw it, right? Did you see it?"

"For a second," Sasuke grumbled.

"Wasn't it beautiful? I named him Paul. Paul the Prick." Which were the exact words Sasuke would have read if he didn't have to watch the road, or so he assumed. It wasn't like he was going to drive back this way anytime soon to confirm. He knew some backroads that he could take home.

"Bravo." Sasuke rolled his eyes again and carried on driving. "You should have gotten more money out of Kiba. If you get arrested for forty dollars that'll be your crowning moment of stupidity. And trust me, that's quite an accomplishment."

Naruto ignored this. "I almost got a blow job out of it, but it was Sai who was offering, so I refused."

Sasuke almost swerved onto the curb upon hearing that. Fuck, he hoped a cop didn't see that. There actually were things in his trunk that could get him into trouble.

"Oh," said Sasuke. "That... _thing_ Sakura's friends with, huh?" Sasuke scowled. He hated just about everyone, but there was something about Sai that made Sasuke boil inside. It was one thing to hang out with Sakura and Ino, but when they dragged other members of their weird little group of friends along, it irritated Sasuke. Sai was by far the worst person, in his opinion, but there was also some weirdo with really big eyebrows and a grating voice that Sasuke didn't want to be associated with. Sakura and Naruto were both friends with Gaara, too, but at least he and Sasuke had a mutual feeling of dislike for one another, and generally didn't suck air within twenty feet of each other if they could help it. Fortunately Gaara, Eyebrows, and dickhead Sai were all graduating in June.

"Aww, you just hate anything that threatens my innocence," said Naruto batting his eyelashes, which would have been more effective if Sasuke were actually looking at him.

"What innocence?"

There was a pause that followed the two boys all the way into the parking lot, then Naruto said the worst fucking thing possible. He seemed to excel at that.

"Not gonna lie, it was a tempting offer. A BJ's a BJ, you know what I mean?"

Sasuke may have torn into his desired parking space, and may have hit the break a little too hard, and Naruto's body jerked forward and thumped back into the seat.

"Jesus Christ! You tryin'a give me whiplash?"

"Funny, I don't remember handing Jesus the wheel," said Sasuke while putting the car into park. He then unbuckled and slammed the car door behind him. Naruto had long since given up trying to understand the myriad things that pissed off his best friend. Sometimes he swore that Sasuke got pissed just to get pissed. He wore his frown like a medal. Naruto would swear by this to his deathbed.

"You fucking fucker," Naruto uttered, crawling out of Sasuke's car. Sasuke, ever the meticulous neat freak, had no problem making room in the back of the car for the two, because there was never any unnecessary clutter to move. He was able to flatten the back seat into the floor of the car, giving both boys just enough space to sit. Luckily they were both shorter than the average boy for their age. Naruto blamed Sasuke's Japanese descent, and Sasuke, who was actually the taller of the two, pointed out that at least he had an excuse, unlike Naruto, who was just short to be short. It turned out to have its advantages, though, such as being able to use the hatchback as a hangout spot.

When Naruto climbed into the back Sasuke slammed the trunk shut.

"Where are we?" Naruto asked.

"The backmost parking space of Cheers Community College. According to Itachi, no one is ever here at night."

"I didn't know C3 was in Farwell."

"Do you know anything about any college?"

"Aww, shuddup. Get off my back already. I'm not that stupid."

"No, but you don't apply yourself, which amounts to the same thing."

"Tch, you don't know that! And by the way, if you drove us all the way out here just to insult me then take me home."

"Yikes, Aunt Flow must be in town," said Sasuke, pulling a backpack onto his lap. He hadn't seen the look on Naruto's face due to it being too dark in the hatchback to see, but judging by the kick in the shin that he got the joke obviously hadn't gone over Naruto's head.

"I'll never understand how Sakura can deal with your sexist bullshit," Naruto grumbled.

"That makes two of us." Sasuke, not the least bit apologetic, turned on a large flashlight and sat it in a corner pointed toward the ceiling. He opened his backpack, and the first thing he pulled out was a fresh deck of Uno cards. "Happy Birthday, scumbag."

"That's it? You got me Uno cards? What are we, eight?"

"It's something to do while we drink these," said Sasuke, pulling two glass bottles of Miller's Lite out of his backpack. Naruto gaped.

"Yo," said Naruto, looking suddenly horrified. "We're not twenty-one!"

"You savagely vandalized a Farwell relic with grotesque male genitalia and you're telling me a little beer scares you?"

"Er, good point." Naruto took the beer out of Sasuke's hand, still not quite sure what to think of it.

"Spill beer in my car and die," said Sasuke, twisting the cap of his bottle with his bare hands. He knocked back a third of the bottle like he was an old pro at this, whereas Naruto just stared down at his, unsure.

"I don't know about this, man."

"Everyone our age has gotten hammered at some point. You telling me that you're the only one who hasn't?"

"S-shut up!" Naruto tried opening the beer with his bare hand as Sasuke had, but had a harder time of it. Once he'd figured it out he knocked back just as much, but with a trickle falling down his lips.

"Goddamn you! I told you not to spill it."

"Shut-" _Burp._ "-up," Naruto repeated, and wiped away the trickle with the back of his hand. "You ready to get your ass kicked at Uno?"

"There's no such thing as ass kicking at a game of chance," said Sasuke.

Three victories at Uno later, and Sasuke had a smug grin on his face as he popped open his second beer. No such thing as asskicking indeed.

"You hid a bunch of wild cards up your sleeve, don't you?" Naruto accused while shuffling the cards.

"You'll have to undress me to find out," said Sasuke, who was acting far more drunk than he actually was. He was at a point where he could drink all six beers in his pack if he wanted to, but he decided to share with Naruto because heck, it was his birthday, or close enough, and Naruto loved naughty things.

"Oooook, maybe we've had enough," said Naruto, who actually hadn't had anymore than his first swig of beer.

"No, we still have to do one more thing before it's enough."

"If it involves undressing you then I'm not doing it."

"Fine, be that way," said Sasuke, unabashed by Naruto's dismissal of his come on. He had meant it as a joke, and if Naruto didn't take it as one then that was his problem. "That's not what I was getting at. You can't have your first drink without playing your first drinking game."

"As long as we keep our pants on," Naruto uttered, still glaring at his drink like it was going to betray him somehow.

"That's the spirit." Sasuke knew of drinking games, though he'd never actually participated in any. Drinking to him was a mostly solitary endeavor, but he knew that when he eventually shared it with someone it'd be Naruto. After all, whether he liked it or not Naruto was a constant in his life. A constant pain in the ass. A constant reminder of something untouchable. Nevertheless, he was a constant that Sasuke could count on, someone that made this stupid life worth it somehow, and Sasuke wanted Naruto to be as close to him as possible, even if it proved uncomfortable, sometimes painful, at times.

"So... ?" said Naruto.

"We'll play a simple one. I've Never. Do you know the rules?"

"Do we have enough people for that? I mean, it's just us."

"That's all we need." By we Sasuke really meant himself. He didn't really give that much of a damn about anyone who wasn't Naruto.

"So, OK. Say you ask... I dunno. 'I've never jerked off to naked girls.' I'm supposed to take a drink because I have, right?"

"Yeah," said Sasuke with a slight frown. He didn't really want girls to be a topic in this game at all. Stupid Naruto and his stupid attraction to the opposite sex. "You go first."

"I... what? Oh, uh." Naruto scratched his head. "I-I... I've never gotten an A in Spanish?"

Weak. But that was OK. Sasuke drank.

"I've never fantasized about fucking in a locker room," Sasuke said, and drank again. Naruto's nose scrunched.

"That's cheating! And gay!"

"How is it cheating?"

"You're supposed to come up with shit you haven't actually done."

"Says who?"

"Aww, motherfuck. OK, Big Gay Sass, have it your way. I've never experienced sexual favors in a public restroom."

Both of them drank, and Naruto nearly spit his out when he realized it.

"You fucking pervert!" Naruto belted.

"Takes one to know one," said Sasuke, but then it occurred to him that he wasn't the only one. Exactly what favors had Naruto experienced in the past? Even if they were heterosexual, Sasuke would be too drunk to care at the rate he was going.

"The fuck did you do? And with who?"

"Remember that bitchy cousin of Hinata's? He gave me a handjob once," said Sasuke with pride. The only thing that was missing from this self-satisfied image was a cigarette. Come to think of it, Naruto wouldn't be surprised if Sasuke got his hands on some of those, too.

"No shit? You fucked around with the chastity police?" Naruto was caught somewhere between intense horror and wanting to give Sasuke a high five. Since he couldn't unclench his fist he decided to give Sasuke a fist bump instead. "When was this?"

"Sometime while you were still dating Hinata."

"Dude, what? We were like twelve!"

"Thirteen."

"Whatever. Eww, never mind. Not cool. Damn it, that's way more than I ever needed to know. Pass the brain bleach, brah. I'm dyin' over here."

"Shut up. You drank, too, moron," said Sasuke. "Let me guess. Your good buddy _Sai-_"

"NO!" said Naruto, suddenly looking sick. "It was no one. I jerked off by myself in a stall once because I was bored." That sounded like bullshit, but Sasuke didn't care. It was both a blow and a relief. On one hand, Sasuke would give anything to find out Naruto were even remotely attracted to men. Just because Sasuke didn't have time for jerks in the boy's locker room, or Sakura's little club, didn't mean that he didn't have time for _Naruto_. That was different. The only issue was that, for all Sasuke knew, Naruto was straight as an arrow. On the other hand, if Naruto found himself feeling a little bi-curious, Sasuke would fucking kill Sai if he touched Naruto. That went for any guy really. Though he knew that he technically had no say in who Naruto chose to have that particular brand of fun with, be they male or female, part of him felt almost entitled to be the one Naruto came to. That is, if he actually liked guys. This was probably why he didn't like Gaara. Gaara was Sasuke's first experiment. Would he try to be Naruto's, too? Frankly, Sasuke just hated everyone in their age group who was close to Naruto, especially if they were male. Somehow, Sasuke felt more threatened by those.

"OK, my turn," said Sasuke, cutting off his own jealous train of thought. "I've never lost my virginity."

It was the first never that Sasuke didn't drink to, and much to his relief Naruto didn't drink either. Come to think of it, Naruto hadn't even had a steady girlfriend since Hinata, at least not to Sasuke's knowledge. Naruto would find girls all right, date them for like a week, and then they'd break up for some reason. Sasuke never asked. He didn't want to know.

"Well, I already knew about the girls, but you haven't lost your ass virginity either?"

"That's a dumb question. I'm going to ignore that."

"Why is that a dumb question? It's just that you're so... ah. I dunno. Never mind.

"I've never dressed up like a woman!"

Sasuke didn't drink, but Naruto did. When they were fourteen Sasuke tagged along with Naruto, Sakura, Kiba, and Shikamaru to the Spirit of Halloween store. They (mostly Kiba) had dared Naruto to dress up in one of the skimpy, overpriced costumes designed for women. He decided to go as Captain America girl in a short skirt, and was constantly paranoid that his dick was going to fall out of his underpants and he was going to traumatize the children. They went trick-or-treating like that. Well, Sasuke didn't tag along for that part since he hated trick-or-treating, but when they got back Kiba gave Naruto all of his candy as promised. Apparently some houses gave Naruto extra candy for his brazen nature, whereas others just slammed the door in his face. Kiba's bag of candy more than made up for those who slammed the door.

"You broke your own rule," Sasuke pointed out.

"Shut up," said Naruto.

"OK. Well, I've never thought 'you know, Sasuke Uchiha is pretty attractive.'"

Both of them drank, Naruto reluctantly so, and Sasuke swelled a little bit. He had a hunch that Naruto was about to say that earlier when he stopped himself, and Sasuke needed to confirm.

"Damn, you really are one pretentious bastard tonight."

"And you find me attractive."

"It's not what you think!" said Naruto, blushing all the way to his ears. Maybe if Sasuke were a little more sober he'd begin to doubt himself, but while he was on a roll he figured he might as well keep it up. "Everyone finds you attractive. You're like... fit and pretty."

"Hmph. Whatever you say."

Naruto shrugged. "Might as well. I've never thought 'you know, that Naruto Uzumaki is one sexy fucker.'"

Both of them drank to that, Sasuke killing off his second beer and Naruto was one sip away from polishing off his first.

"Who's the pretentious bastard now?" asked Sasuke with a smirk.

"All those times you slept in a bed with me. How did you manage to not jump my bones?"

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean that I'm a rapist."

"You could have asked. If I said yes then it wouldn't be rape, would it?"

"Are you suggesting that if I ask to 'jump your bones' that you'll say yes?"

"I... no! That question was hypothetical. Idiot." Naruto was blushing again and looked everywhere but at Sasuke. He even finished the last of his beer purely on nervous reflex, then demanded another one. Sasuke liked where this was going. "How do we determine the winner of this stupid game anyway?"

"He who drinks the most beer wins," said Sasuke, who was already one beer ahead of Naruto.

"No fair. You're only one beer ahead because you drank during Uno."

"Well, you take bigger sips."

"I... ugh. Fuck you, jackass. And no, that wasn't an offer."

"Gee, thanks for clarifying." Sasuke rolled his eyes. He decided to stay clear of questions that were sexual in nature for the next few turns, settling for things like "I've never smoked a blunt," which, to no surprise of his, both of them drank to. He knew for a fact that Gaara always had weed. So did Shikamaru. Even Ino smoked weed on occasion, and though Sakura denied it profusely Sasuke suspected that she had shared a blunt with Ino at least once. Sasuke never smoked a blunt with Naruto and was suddenly sorry that he didn't have one. He'd have to work on that at some point.

Though this did beg the question. Why was Naruto reluctant to drink alcohol when he at least experimented with something that was technically illegal for everyone, and not just kids? He thought about asking, but got sidetracked by Naruto's next never.

"I've never wanted to be swept into someone's arms and kissed like I was the greatest thing that ever walked this earth."

That was way too cheesy for Sasuke, and technically he never quite knew that he wanted such a thing until Naruto said it, so he didn't raise the bottle to his lips. Naruto finished his second beer in two great gulps with that, and appeared a bit flustered. His body wasn't used to it, and frankly if he got sick in Sasuke's car it didn't matter how crazy in love with this stupid shit he was, Sasuke would kill him. Thankfully, all he did was belch.

"I've never wanted to kiss a man," Sasuke dared, and of course he drank. Naruto reached for Sasuke's beer and drank from that, at least coherent enough to know that opening a third bottle would be a bad idea. Or actually, that wasn't possible, because the first function of the brain to be impaired during drinking was judgment. What was it, then, that compelled Naruto to take Sasuke's third beer and kill it off himself?

"Lemme out. I gotta piss," said Naruto. He crawled out of the hatchback and stumbled far enough into the woods that Sasuke couldn't see him. If Naruto managed to find his way back then a moment of truth was upon them. Did Sasuke dare grant Naruto's wish? He would be happy to sweep Naruto into his arms and kiss him, because Naruto was his everything. The most beautiful thing to ever walk this disgusting ball of dirt, and Sasuke wanted him. Wanted him so fucking much. Ever since he'd come out he'd wanted Naruto, and was not always successful in convincing himself that they were just friends, that they could only ever be just friends, that just friends was all they _were_ ever going to be. Sure they were friends, but they were so much more, too.

And hell, Naruto started it anyway. Sasuke hadn't forgotten anytime Naruto kissed him on the cheek, held his hand, embraced him. Maybe if he didn't touch Sasuke so damn much. Maybe if he didn't make a point to be a vital member of Sasuke's existence. Sasuke tried to keep his distance during Itachi's recovery from his accident, but Naruto found a way in. Naruto was there again when his dad had his inevitable heart attack and had to get a triple bypass, or die. That took its toll on mom more than anything, and then the arguments started again. Eventually Mikoto went back to California and hadn't flown home since. That was a year and two months ago, and the trial separation between his parents turned into the divorce process, and it was just him and dad now, since Sasuke refused to move to California. Itachi was in grad school, usually too busy to do anything other than text and was never on facebook. It sucked. Sasuke's family sucked. He hated all three of them.

But he loved Naruto, because rather than leaving Sasuke behind, he came to Sasuke. He came where everyone else went, and despite Sasuke's efforts toward devolving into an isolated recluse Naruto's presence remained constant, like the air that he breathed, and somehow became something that Sasuke needed in order to live. It fucking sucked, at least, until Naruto not only admitted that Sasuke was attractive tonight, but that he wanted to kiss a male. He refused to believe it was just beer talk. Hell, Naruto'd almost accepted a blow job from Sai! Sober! Perhaps he had said no just because he didn't want Sai. Perhaps he would accept a blow job from Sasuke. Then again, he did scorn the idea of them undressing. It was all very confusing.

"I'm too drunk to drive," said Naruto, finding his way out of the brush and wood. Then he giggled. "Holy shit, I'm drunk."

"Lightweight," said Sasuke, pleasantly buzzed, despite the train of negative thoughts. The sight of Naruto was enough to cheer him up, and when Naruto climbed back into the hatchback Sasuke uncrossed his legs, pulled Naruto between his thighs, and nuzzled the side of his neck. He smelled nice.

"Wutter'ya doin', Sasgay?"

"My legs are falling asleep," said Sasuke. Technically it wasn't a lie. Neither were any of his other excuses. "It got cold in here because you left the trunk open. Both of us are too drunk to drive. We fit better this way."

"That makes sense," said Naruto, giggling again. At least he seemed happy. "Say, Sasuke?"

"Hmm?"

"What'd'ya get me for my birthday? Like, really?"

"My undying love," said Sasuke.

"But you give me that every day. You should give me somethin' new." His blue eyes seemed giant, until Sasuke flinched and knocked the flashlight over, darkening Naruto's face. He could still see flecks of light shining on Naruto's wet lips, though, which he must have just licked.

"I'll give you something new, but don't cry if you don't like it."

With years worth of pent up hormones and alcohol on his side, Sasuke pressed his lips to Naruto's hungrily for the first time, and would never know a time from then on out where he didn't lust for more. In a way, nothing changed.

**TBC**

**A/N:** I'm back! Sorry for the delay, it wasn't for lack of trying. I actually had no idea how I wanted to start this chapter, so I'd write like a thousand words, then delete all of it if I hated where it was going, or if it got too info-dumpish. I did that about six times before I came up with what y'all have just read, and I am fairly satisfied with it. So yeah, here it is, the start of Part 3 and close to the halfway point. Please review and let me know what you think.

As for references, there was one. When Sasuke says "Happy Birthday, scumbag" that is from an anime called _Cromartie High School_, which I've only seen one episode of, but my boyfriend's obsessed with that phrase, so I couldn't resist using it at least once. XD


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